The anniversary of Ryan’s brutal beating is just days away. Three days, to be exact. The week leading up to this is the worst… except for the actual day, November 7th. The day that everything changed forever. The day Austin Vantrease and Jonathan May (both of Newark, Delaware) reigned despair on my son and family and walked away from the wreckage they caused (after hiding behind a dumpster, that is).
![[via lovingmylot.com]](https://i0.wp.com/ryansrally.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/train-tracks.jpg?resize=300%2C158&ssl=1)
[via lovingmylot.com]
It’s like sitting in an old, dilapidated, broken down jalopy in the middle of a railroad intersection. The car doors are jammed shut and there’s no escape. The Railroad Crossing sign’s blinking red lights and clanging bell to let me know it’s coming is of no help. Hell, it’s just taunting me. It’s telling me that the collision is inevitable.
It’s only a matter of time. The 11-7 train is always on schedule. You can set your watch by it, by damned. It’s going to happen.
It’s going to hurt.
November 7th is coming. I can feel it. The vibration in the rails is getting stronger by the hour. Not much longer before I can hear it… then see it. It’s a locomotive barreling down the tracks of time. The best I can do is cover my face with hands and cry. I cry for all that was lost… all that was already demolished further up the line. I cry for the certain pain when time and circumstances again collide. I’ll cry as me and my family are helplessly plowed along the rails into the future.
It’s (always) going to hurt.
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My thoughts and prayers are always with you and your family Ken.
I thought about this upcoming day yesterday driving to work. I wondered what Jonathan May has been doing this last 4 years? It’s been 4 years our focus has been on Austin Vantrease, but if it was not for Jonathan May we would not be in this position. He threw the first punch!
Where are you Jon May? What have you been doing for 4 years? Why have you not “Manned Up”? Were your parents like Austins? Too busy with themselves to raise a son with morals and values, to raise a son who says” I take responsibility for my actions”. Why did you think it was ok to punch Ryan? Are you going to hide for the rest of your life from this day in history?
Like 9/11, or the day JFK was killed there are those of us who will never forget where we were and our reaction when we heard about Ryan. My son was a housemate of Ryan’s. I will never forget when I heard the news.
I am pretty sure Austin is not living a happy life at this time, who in prison could be?
Jon May, come out come out where ever you are. Your parents quietly paid for a slick lawyer at the trial, they quietly slithered you out of jail early. Now you are quietly living (hiding) somewhere and avoiding your court ordered restitution are you not? Is this your plan for the rest of your life? How will you explain this to a future wife, any children you may father. Such a heavy burden to carry. What is it like? I imagine you in hiding always, never able to be yourself. Are you moving around the country like the Vantrease siblings denying the truth and escaping the gossip? Using another last name? Perhaps your mothers maiden name? Yes, I thought about you and your parents driving to work yesterday Jon May. How will you remember this November 7th?
Still here, still praying. Sending our family’s love to Ryan, Ken, Sue and Kari as we approach an anniversary of a tragedy so deep and unfathomable that it is difficult to describe. I intend to set my alarm to pray for Ryan at 3:30 AM. Four years of exponential heartache and viciousness on the one hand and undying love and kindness on the other. It is the yin and the yang of the situation. God vs the enemy, love vs hate, good vs evil, acknowledgement vs denial, hope vs despair, and so on. I will pray for complete healing for Ryan and for a sense of peace of some odd sort. We stand by you all and always will, so know that. Also know that you are not alone even in the darkest of times. We continue to hope, and we continue to pray. God Bless you all.
<3
So today, my other “cause” that I fight for, Ryan Ferguson, had his wrongful conviction of 9 1/2 years overturned. I don’t know him, just like I don’t know Ryan Diviney. His father talked about the power of the team behind his son, he talked about how it’s like pushing a car down the train tracks, the first rotation of the tire is hard, the next one is easier, the next easier and eventually it just goes.
It’s like this site and THIS Ryan, we are all here pushing the car, hoping for hope, praying, raising money, just trying to find one thing that will give our RYAN a difference, give his family one moment of happiness.
With the elation of Ryan Ferguson, I am also so sad about what the next 2 days bring to this Ryan’s family. My heart is so heavy for them.
Posting this for you in case you haven’t had a chance to read about this latest research regarding patients in vegetative states.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-24755585
Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk…. he can hear you. Miss Kari, talk to him.
Heartfelt thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
that’s also the date of Billy Graham’s world-wide message of Hope. watching that with your family and perhaps some friends may be the best way ever to honor Ryan. <3
I’m so sorry. It’s so unfair. My heart goes out to you all.
We are with you and Ryan. Thinking of you, and praying for you, everyday. The anniversary will be tough, but there will be a lot of Team Diviney members to help support you through it.
My prayers are with you on that day along with what I am are thousands of others. Your prayer circle keeps expanding.
So sorry for the pain Ryan and your family endures everyday. My heart aches for all of you.
Dear Ken
We will always be riding with your family to Ryan’s healing .. Cannot know the pain and agony you all go through every year ,but will always be here and always praying <3
Some of us hopped on the train and been riding it behind you ever since … yes it’s been a rocky ride (to put it mildly) but there have been moments of light and certainly a tremendous amount of love … wrapping up your whole family in love and prayers and you can count on me because I am still here, still praying
Hugs
Paula
You express it so beautifully, Paula. Long road together continues.
My heart still breaks for your family and Ryan. ..I read your posts and it makes me feel I physically know your family. ♡ you all
Ken- Very well written. I start feeling this way in October knowing December 3rd is coming for me. The pain never leaves but there are certain dates that become overwheming. I am sending a cyber hug- not that this eases the pain. Know that I understand your pain and you are not walking this journey alone.
Heartbreak and despair. I can feel it.
Ken, Sue & Kari your devotion and love for Ryan is, without a doubt, what keeps you strong and able to deal with this horrible ordeal. My family continues to pray for Ryan in the hope that there will be signs of recovery. Please know that we will be thinking about all of you this week. Sincerely, Jack, Gloria & Sean
Praying for your whole family. You are always in our prayers.
We will never leave you or abandon you. Our loyalty knows no bounds. We don’t hide behind dumpsters. Team Divney will pray and love and comfort you through this. DIVINEY STRONG!
<3
It’s not an old jalopy, Ken, but another train, and we are on it with you. We know how hard it is to face the remembrance of this awful day, but praying that along with the good Lord, it comforts you to know how many of us outpraying here are praying for you and your family, and thanking God that Ryan is there for you to hold.
Always, always here with love and prayers. SHSP, NGA
Correction: how many of us out here are praying…