[Copied from my daughter’s Facebook post, August 26, 2013]
I can’t believe how long it’s been since I have seen my brother’s smile or heard him speak. I have so much I want to talk to him about… so much to show him. He was so young when his life was taken from him.
My brother, Ryan Diviney, has been in a coma for 4 years this November 7th after being brutally attacked and kicked in the head in 2009 by Felon Austin Vantrease. All we have is a shell of what Ryan was. All he had to offer… All he had to give… All the love and laughter and life he still had to experience.
Now, lying comatose in a hospital bed, under my fathers care, in a hospital room built in our house.
Kari and Ryan on our last vacation in 2009.
I often find myself looking back through old pictures of our last family vacation together in 2009. He was so happy… had so much promise… was my big brother… was my world. I wonder what he would think of me today… I wonder the advice he would give me as I’ve been growing up… I wonder what memories we would’ve made… the fun we could’ve had together as we were finally becoming adults.
All this taken away from him and my family. All the memories. His future. My parents futures. Everything because of one night. Why did my brother have to cross Austin Vantrease and Jonathan Mays path that night? Why did they punch and kick my unconscious brother in the head over a baseball game? Anyone who knows Ryan knows he did not deserve this fate. No one deserves to be kicked in the head while their down and defenseless… no one. I lost my big brother that night… My parent’s son… our world.
We lost his twinkling smile and ability to light up any room. His passion… gone. His light, gone. Not only my family but the world lost a great guy that night.
The world lost someone who would’ve been something.. Would’ve made a difference. Not many people had passion like my brother and anyone who knows him knows that he was one of the most passionate people this worlds ever known.. And we can only hope that one day… a miracle will bring him back to us.
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Kari,
I just can’t express to you how much I adore you!!! Stopping to see you last weekend was an AMAZING adventure for my son John and I ! You made us laugh and smile the entire visit! While you talked and showed us around with your roomate … the entire visit I was thinking about how Ryan is so proud of you! I know he is aware that you are a Mountaineer just like he dreamed! He loved WVU and loves you so much that he only wanted you to apply there! You did and you are doing so great!!! He should be with you and it has added to this tragedy ! Under your devastating circumstances and disappointment, you are surviving with such honor and grace! I love your family and I just want you to know how much I love you and I am watching you grow up into a more beautiful woman every day I see you!
You make a difference Kari!!! I was going to text you tomorrow and tell you but I saw your post tonight and thought I would tell you here…. Because of you and how sweet you are… how thoughtful and loving you are…and because the love you have for everything around you is contagious, it just oozes out all around you! I want everyone to know how you have helped us. How you made John see something he could not see before. He experienced how much your college means to you. He and I witnessed how the college community surrounds you and supports you with love and community support!!! When we got to
Morgantown, he was not at all interesed in a big school because he thought he would just fall through the cracks and no one would get to know him. We have been told that a small school is best. Then he saw your experience at WVU. How many friends you have made and how much support you have. He heard you say that your school gives you so many more opportunities to meet new people and that you would have never had that chance in a small college, He heard you Kari and he has chosen to apply to WVU!!!!!!! 🙂
Ryan is very aware of what you are doing. He hears everything you tell him and what your parents are saying! I can see it when I’m around him. You are so special to him Kari. I’m sorry he can’t tell you with his words. But you must see his reaction when you are there?! i realize its not the same 🙁 I know you are sad and I am sad for you! I hope you can feel some excitement hearing the news that you continue Ryan’s legacy of inspiring kids to go to college 🙂
Thank you 🙂
Miss Elizabeth you gave me chills! Wow. Glad you can see a difference with Ryan when she is around, sometimes when you are so close to a situation you can’t see those subtle differences. That alone should encourage her to talk his ears off. 🙂 And congrats to your son, even though it is a big school is is a very small town. I kinda miss that.
Kari your words touched a lot of hearts today.As the above person said..talk to him.Tell him everything God is full of miracles..all we have to do is wait and believe.:)
Thinking of you Kari as you start another year at college.
Remember, the world has not lost Ryan, only the Ryan we knew before Austin and Jon May assaulted him. He has contributed so much to the future of brain injured patients and still has alot to offer. Not exactly what you would have wanted from him pre-assault, but he has contributed more good for this world since being attacked than Jon May and Austin Vantrease will in their entire lifetime.
Be proud Kari, talk to him, tell him about school and whatever. Get ready to start playing the John Denver songs!
Great post Rhonda Morin–Kari, do it! I believe he CAN hear you–and he has been trying to vocalize.
Oh, Honey, my heart just breaks that this happened to Ryan. He is so beloved by me, like my own. I pray for him, you and your folks everyday for the strength and comfort to do the job the Lord wants you to do. And, i cry, every day. None of you know me, but i will pray for Ryan and all of you as long as there is breath in my body. Love, Annie
Dear Kari, such a beautiful heart you have, and how it hurts that it has been so terribly bruised by the wickedness of this world. All your tears, sorrow, anguish and pain could fill an ocean and turn it to the deepest, saddest blue. You and your brother, father and mother, family and friends — no one — deserved to be hurtled into this vast void that now hides the Ryan of November 6, 2009. Your words feel like a desert that was once a green meadow filled with flowers and sunshine. Your torment is worse than the loneliest of days in which silence fills the air with all that is missing…and yet…somehow – your spirit still dazzles like sunlight on a brilliant autumn morning and your smile still envelops lost dreams and transforms them into undeniable possibilities. The kindness and love in your soul over flow with a deluge of promise for tomorrow. That’s what you give Ryan every time you’re near, and even when you’re not, because nothing could ever shatter the connection the two of you share. Time itself is but a conduit for the abundant love you impart to Ryan just by being here. That is your gift, dear Kari, and its power is a force to be reckoned with.
Kari, please talk to him, tell him, he can hear you. Wouldn’t it be horrible when he regains his ability to communicate with you and he doesn’t know those things about you.
You are in college, do the stream of thought thing and talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Tell him everything. Then tell him what’s in the stupid rag magazines and how horrible Miley Cyrus is or all the new football players at WVU and how great RG3 is. Talk, talk, talk, talk until you can’t talk any more. Then talk a little more.
EVENTUALLY the connections will be made in his brain and he might squeeze your hand, he may not be able to talk back and give you advice but we have heard him with your mom and dad – he responds! TALK TO HIM! He is in there, I promise you, he is there and maybe it is eating him up on the inside that he doesn’t hear you talking ad nauseam.
Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. I also promise he will keep your secrets. 🙂 Tell him who you have a crush on and who has one on you. Update him on his friends and your parents.
Be the little sister and annoy the piss out of him! You can do it!!! I don’t know you, you don’t know me, but I expect to read an update about how you talked so much you have no voice left. Do it! I double dog dare you!
Sad, so so sorry.
Kari, I wish there was something that I could say that was pround to help you and the family. The only thing that I can do to help is to fundraise. I have discussed this with your father. My choir here in Huntington is getting ready to conduct several concerts with all proceeds going to Ryan’s care. That’s all we can do and I am sorry.
The pieces that Kari writes always hit me particularly hard. My big brother and I are about as close in age as Kari and Ryan and I could not imagine losing him. I don’t know what I would do. I definitely would not be able to face it head-on with the grace and strength that she has.
Kari,
I am so sorry for your loss! I have been following Ryan’s story since I stumbled upon the Ryan’s Rally page on facebook a few months ago and I have cried for you and your family. I have 3 siblings of my own and I cannot even begin to think of how hard (even impossible) it would be if I lost any of them, especially as the result of such a senseless act. Siblings are the ones who are with us through most of our lifespan. My heart breaks because this was taken from you. I hope that Austin and Jonathan are punished to the fullest extent of the law.
Take care,
Angela