For the most part, I really don’t know what to say about how I’m feeling. Even if I did, how is it possible for me to articulate?
I’ll try anyhow.
Before I do, the most important thing must be addressed first. Namely, you. You and all the others who are “Team Diviney”. Where would Ryan be without you? Throughout these five years, beginning that very night he was so brutally beaten, my family never felt alone. You gave so unselfishly and didn’t expect anything in return. No, it’s more than that, you demanded nothing in return. Oh, for all that’s good in this world, I wish I could express just what this has meant — and continues to mean — to me… my family… Ryan. Thank you for loving my boy. He is relevant because you don’t allow people to forget.
As for me? Well, I hurt… a lot. The despair feels like ever fiber in my body is in agony. How can something hurt so deeply? I can’t stand it but there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I miss my son so much. Each day it hurts more. Don’t believe those who will tell you that time heals all pains. No, it’s a lie! Time can make it worse, especially when it’s not on your side.
I’ll never come to terms with what happened to him. How could I, or anyone, ever accept it to one’s child? To be sucker-punched and kicked in the head for no good reason. Ryan was defenseless. He never knew what hit (and kicked) him… and likely never will. Ryan is no longer himself. That Ryan, a young man with a lifetime ahead was gone.
My son, as he once was, is no more.
He survived, but I use that term loosely. Yes, his body pulled through. Against ALL odds it didn’t quit on him, despite his brain being so severely and deeply injured. His essence did not survive. It died on November 7, 2009. Austin Vantrease and Jonathan May are the monsters that did it. Even if Ryan were to emerge, it’s assured that the person I loved so much will be absent. He will be entirely different. I love him just as much, but I grieve for what he is no longer.
Excuse Me as I Fall Apart
I couldn’t sleep last night and I wasn’t going to kid myself that I could. I watched television (NFL) until around 11:00 then poured myself a cup of coffee. I braced myself for the inevitable sadness that was already building.
The clock flipped to midnight. Just another new day, I told myself. Really, no different from the 1,825 times this happened since November 7, 2009… when we get right down to it. Merely a measure of the passage of time based upon the full rotation of the earth. You’d think I’d get use to this. Hell, it happens like clockwork, literally.
I don’t.
So, at midnight and then again at the same time he was attacked, I walked into Ryan’s room. Both times he was snuggled in and as comfortable as all get-out. By every appearance he seemed to be asleep. Perhaps he was. Perhaps not. There’s no way to tell with certainty. I can pretend he’s sleeping. I can pretend he’s dreaming. I can pretend he’ll wake up tomorrow and fulfill the life he deserved.
Still, there’s no pretending for long. Something is always there to remind me about that. You can bet on that.
I leaned over his bed and cupped his head in my arms. I allowed his soft breath to wash over my cheek then kissed his warm forehead. He left out a gentle moan that I wanted to believe was his way of communicating to me that he knew I was there. Sure, he might be doing this… but it’s more likely that he had secretions in the back of his throat and was reflexively clearing them. No matter, I suppose. I leaned my mouth to his ear and shared my promises (and secrets) with him.
The feel of his whiskers on my face makes me hug him harder. I never wanted to let go.
Please, hug me back is all I can ask him and I repeatedly whisper this in his ear. He offers no response. Not the slightest inkling.
Please use this as you FB profile picture this weekend.
The tears already began without my noticing until I tasted their saltiness. I push my face into his pillow in hopes that the nurse might not notice. It’s not that I’m ashamed of tearing up, mind you. I just don’t want her to feel uncomfortable or to feel like she must say something to me. It’s something I learned along the way when it comes to grieving… it requires manners and courtesy toward others.
Saying “I’m sorry” for breaking down in front of others is always misinterpreted. Did you realize this? They always think that I’m apologizing for crying when what I’m really doing is telling them I shouldn’t have put them in such an uncomfortable situation.
The Reality
Today, when every emotion is pegged at the maximum and is pulling me to shreds, it is you that I will keep close to my heart. Those who brought their good against evil. Those who love in the face of hatred. Good souls who didn’t allow me to quit. People that pieced me back together when I shatter. Yes, it is you that will carry me through this day.
I couldn’t have made it this far — five years — without you. People warned me I could never keep up the pace and I’d be dead within five years, but they didn’t know about you. They didn’t know about me either. We share a resolve that is unmatched.
Again, thank you for allowing me to openly share my feelings and, at times, come to my defense against those monsters who meant further harm to my family.
Please don’t ever leave. Please.
I’d appreciate it if you would share today’s post!
(((HUGS)))
I feel your pain…not as a dad but as a wife. Some of the things you wrote I feel and still deal with. It hurts, it sucks, it angers! You’re right in that time doesn’t heal, it just passes by. Some things get better but heal…ehhh. I think of y’all often and pray just as much! Bless you all!
Wow, your writing is extraordinary. I’m a “silent” reader of your blog, but I wish you, Ryan and your family the best! Ryan lives through your blog and I believe it has a truly great purpose and will help many people.
Been away from the computer for the last several days. I am saddened of this 5 year anniversary for a tragedy that should never have happened. We continue to hold out hope for Ryan and pray for him and your family. Ryan is fortunate to have such loving parents as you. God Bless you.
Dearest Ken. There are no words of comfort that can be offered by me (or anyone else for that matter). All we can do is hope you can imagine the collective hug we are all sending you and Ryan in your brightest and darkest hours. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers always.
I met Ryan playing baseball in 2002, the fall that the sniper terrorized the northern Virginia area. Our team name was the Braves. Our season cut short by the sniper. I was probably the worst player on that team in regards to talent. I don’t remember that my season was cut short though. I remember that, even with my lack of talent, Ryan was always so kind to me. I know that being patient with the worst player on the team is hard, but he was always so supportive. He always built me up, no matter what. It really meant a lot to me and I was really upset to learn what had happened. My prayers are with the family and reading this made me cry, a lot. Thank you for raising such a beautiful person coach! I pray for your strength.
-Eddie
Thank you for sharing with us. Remembering is important. I am holding you and you son in my thoughts and sharing your story with all who will listen. Praying for you to find a peaceful moment on this day and every day.
. . . . . never apologize to another for anything you do! No on could ever understand, not even us.
Ive been following Ryans story for 5 years. It breaks my heart to see the agony and pain you and your family have been and are always going through. My cousin Skylar was murdered 2 years ago, and those two boys are no different than the monsters that killed her. Although they might be out of prison, they will have to face their real judge one day, and I hope you find peace in knowing they will burn in hell (hopefully). God bless you Diviney family
Wow your words are truly amazing and inspiring. You probably havent felt as strong as you should these past 5 long hard years, but I’m telling you right now your whole family is!! None of this is easy but you’re all still fighting and going strong never giving up because of the love you have in your hearts for Ryan! Again, truly amazing thank you for sharing your thoughts with us all! Brought tears to my eyes!
God bless you both.
I don’t know Ryan, nor do I know you (his beautiful, strong & unconditionally loving mother). I, also, dont know what city or state this occured in. However, this is one of the most heartbreaking events I’ve ever read. With that said, I must tell you (Ryan’s mom) that your such a courageous and beautiful woman. I will forever keep you and Ryan in my prayers. Im deeply sorrowful that Ryan and you had to see such ugly in this world. Yet, I’m also grateful you met such wonderful people, although I wish it’d have been in better circumstances. So, Ryan’s mom, just know Ryan’s story has been seen and you’ve got people (that you have no idea are there for you)standing behind you and praying for you both that all works out.
I pray that this messsge makes it to you and helps give you comfort, even just a few moments of it.
Love Always,
Alisa Fulena & Family
Ryan is not forgotten. Your and your family’s strength and love is an inspiration to so many.
i came across your picture on Facebook. I read your story and looked at all the pictures. I am so very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Ryan. I won’t even watch a movie with violence like that… Nonetheless imagining it happening to my son, your son or any person. I’m sickened that someone would do something so evil. It’s nasty to kick someone’s belonging… Disrespectful, rude and hateful. People who treat animals that way, are punished. To do that to someone’s child, brother… One of God’s masterpieces… Pure evil! Your beautiful son is in my heart. My brother was violently taken from my family at the age of 20. I will ask him to carry my prayers for Ryan right to Jesus. Even though Ryan can’t communicate in the way we are used to, maybe he can communicate with the angels around him. I hope my brother is one of them… Ryan seems like the kind of guy my brother would have chosen as a buddy. God bless you. I’m so sorry that this happened. So deeply sorry.
I have known Ryan’s story since it happened…. I feel your pain when I read your honest words…and often what happened to Ryan comes into my thoughts, I feel ands you anger and vengeance. I have a son the same age… I would do the same as you…. we are mothers we breathe for them.
I understand the morons that did this got very little punishment…I have to say this and so I am too speaking truthfully as a mother…. I would seek revenge… Now wait…that is such a terrible thought..”god please forgive me “…. true words from a mother… 8
Thank you for sharing
I just pray for Ryan and that you will all have the strength to make sure he is taken care of. Even if you think he doesn’t know, he does and he loves each of you and wishes he could tell you.
You posts show so much love, honesty & pain.
I’m sorry for the struggles Ryan and your family endure every day. Praying for you all.
Ken..I am new to your blog. My friend Susan has been following you and Ryan and just shared with me. Let me say that you articulate beautifully. The strong deep emotions came through directly into my heart. The picture of you and Ryan so touches me profoundly. I will pray for Ryan and you and your family. I pray every one’s positive energy reaches Ryan to awaken him and bring his essence back to consciousness. I hurt for you..I feel your anguish and frustration for not being able to help him. I understand. .. I have encountered similar anguish but not for a child of mine. That is what makes yours so awful. But your love and devotion is more than honorable. I believe he knows you are there loving him. God bless you..and God heal Ryan. .
I am from Morgantown and believe me we have never forgotten Ryan nor will we ever.U r the first thing I read every morning when I turn my computer on.Ken,u r my hero and I am sure to many other people too.How u go on from day to day amazes me.Ryan is in my prayers each night before I close my eyes because I do believe in miracles.I wish u would write a book about “Ryan’s Story” and all that ur family has been thru.I would be the first one in line to buy it.And it just might change some “PUNKS” from doing this to another family.We all love u and admire u and ur strength.Please continue to keep us updated and always remember MIRACLES DO HAPPEN. Prayers to all of u from Morgantown WV.
I pray God will give you both a miracle <3
Thank you for sharing your son with all of us. We love your family and grieve alongside of you. Your tenacity is admirable, your strength immeasurable.
Much luv and prayers to you and your family. My heart breaks for you and what happened to your son, this world just doesn’t make sense at times. How people can be so evil. I pray that you will find peace and comfort,I’ll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Ken, SHSP NGA. Just tears….Nov 7th was on my mind every minute of that day while I was away, as you always are anyway. My prayers, thoughts and love go on daily for Ryan, you, Sue and Kari. You just keep taking the next breath, Ken. Ryan will always be relevant no matter what. Love, Annie
Ken you are such a awesome man with a awesome family! I wish this had never happened and there was not such evil in the world but God is happy that you are fighting the fight. I pray for comfort for you and your family. Sending much love and hugs!!!
I pray for you and Ryan and your whole family every day. You are an amazing family and that is evidenced by all of the comments posted.
Your strength and eloquence touch my heart every time I read your words. My heart hurts for you and my tears flow. Please know that so many people, even those you have never met (like myself ) hold you close in our thoughts and in our hearts.
What an amazing inspiration you are and what a raw and open way you have with words. You say what many want to but can’t say when in similar situations.
My cousin suffered a traumatic brain injury (well sort of, his was due to surgery but its neither here no there). He was 22. He is trapped inside of his own body even two years later. Praise be to God his essence survived, his emotions his personality all there with a minor exception. This biy who dreamed of being a sports announcer can no longer speak, this boy who dreamed of having a wife and a family and supporting them can no longer use the restroom without assistance, his right arm is paralyzed and his leg isn’t much better. But we have him, he is alivet and we have learned to understand what he is saying. However there is one particular member of our family who’s name I won’t mention in case they can see this, who would be directly affected and inspired by YOU. SOMEONE who is angry for loss of his son as he once knew him, for the independent boy with dreams he once used to be best friends with but has now distanced himself from.
I say all of this not to take away from your story but to show you what a good man you are, what an amazing father you are. Angry and rightly so but not at your son but for him. You love him how he is and for what he is while grieving for who he used to be. What a string and corageous man you are.
You and your family will forever be in my prayers, thank you for sharing your beautiful words and son with the world. I believe I will go share them with someone else now!
Prayers for Ryan; prayers for the family. Ryan is surrounded by a family who loves and cares for him and a community that extends well beyond any border. God Bless you all.
God Bless you and your son, I remember every part of what happened to he and you through the news and have prayed for you often. He is now another set of Gods eyes on earth and an angel for you to smile upon.
Your family remains in my prayers.
Your strength is amazing! Continued prayers for Ryan and your entire family!
Praying for strength and comfort for all you and your family have suffered. So sorry!
Ken,
Casey and I are praying still and will continue to.
I shared your post tonight. Ryan will always be relevant! You have the most incredible family and I wish this had never happened to you all. I don’t have any great words of wisdom, but just know that Ryan is never forgotten.
Ken, Thank you for being a wonderful example of what true parenting is all about. God bless Ryan, you, and your entire family.
Saddened by the heartfelt sadness and love you express simultaneously. No one could ever understand your commitment or you love, but with those sweet words we get a glimpse. Continuing to pray for peace and comfort. God bless
To say that this breaks my heart almost feels like an insult to your feelings 🙁 I dont know what this feels like and if its Gods will I wont ever know your pain. I hope and Pray that all of us who knew Ryan and everyone else around the world that this has touched gives u at least a tiny bit of comfort. There are no words to express how much I wish u guys and Ryan didnt have to endure this tragedy. May God continue to give u the strength u need to fight for Ryan. We love u guys and u are truly in my Prayers and I’m sure the prayers of people around the world who have been touched by this story. U are possibly the strongest most amazing father that any kid could ever hope for!
Bless you and your family <3
I’m sorry if that sounds rough,
But I have to say it; because I’m so deeply touched by this dad’s words, and so disgusted by these monsters’ act.
to Kevin:
May every tear you shed, be like Acid on these boys’ lives.
I’m sure your son is somewhat aware of your eternal love for him. And one day you will know it too.
I just shared your story on my FB page.
I’m connected to you through Colleen Coyne Mickle, who’s daughter attended WVU.
If there’s a way to write to you in private, I’d love to.
May Ha’Shem Bless You.
Amen.
As always your family is in my prayers.i share every post In hopes Ryan story gets heard. Stay strong. Keep the posts coming.
Wow…the tears are rolling. My heart breaks for you all, especially Ryan. You are human and have every right to feel and express grief in all of it’s states. Nurses should be used to seeing emotions, so I wouldn’t worry about that. I am sure they feel your pain to a degree. I pray for Ryan and you, his family, quite often. I cannot imagine going through this. The best you can do is show him you love him and be there for him. I am a speech therapist and like to believe that his response was intentional, not just a reflex. We never know what’s going on in someone’s brain, despite what tests say. I will continue to pray for all of you. You are an amazing, strong, and supportive family. Ryan is very fortunate to have you all in his life. Many prayers for peace and comfort and more precious moments together.
My heart aches for you Ken and your family. I wish there was more I could say.
Praying for your family!
There is no greater love… I pray for your family. The strength and devotion you show to us is beyond words.
Ken, we will never leave you, or Ryan, or your family. We love you all dearly. Prayers are with you always.
Love, Peggie
Thinking of Ryan, you, Sue and her parents, Kari, your parents and your extended family.
It never gets “easier” or goes away. God bless you.
Praying everyday for all of you especially Ryan
By God’s grace, you and Ryan are always in my prayers.
Keep on keeping on. I wish there was something I could say to ease the pain. All the best to you & your family.
As always, your strength, perseverance and determination are inspirational to everyone. God bless Ryan and your family. The world is rooting for all of you.
Precious you and precious Ryan. Ever since I heard about Ryan’s vicious unwarranted attack I’ve felt haunted by it. It’s a nightmare that never ends. I do believe in God’s grace and I believe you and your dear son are wrapped in His loving arms. We can’t know why bad things happen to good people but we DO know that God is a loving God and He will never leave us , ever. Take some comfort in this and may God continue to bless you , Ryan and all your family.
Always here and praying for you and sweet Ryan. May you find comfort in each other today and may you find strength in others. Know we are always here and will always be lifting you up.
Still here, still praying, always with you, not going anywhere. You can always count on us to have your back, and even though I know that you know that, Ken, I hope that it feels reassuring to get a written reminder. Tipladys love the Divineys, and we always will.
((((((((Hugs to you and Ryan))))))))))
Keep fighting each day !! This breaks my heart for your family, for Ryan!! We have sponsored and played in rally for Ryan with Greg wells team in the past couple of years! Your family is and has been in our prayers !! May God continue to give you strength as parents and for your precious boy –
Angela
mommy of 3 ( the Burseys )
Prayers to you all . The strength and love brings me to tears hugs
Ken- We don’t know each other, but I have kept up with Ryan and your family through our mutual friend, Sam Masters Durham. You are all often in my thoughts. Thank you for your inspirational writings. Though we are strangers I send my continued prayers for strength and comfort.
Your whole family truly is an inspiration for courage and strength!! Prayers continue for your family and THANK YOU for allowing us into a very personal part of your life and bringing awareness to HORRIBLE AND INHUMANE people in society that we are forced to live amongst and its injustice…NOBODY is immune to its evil 🙁
I have followed your story since day one, my heart aches that you and your family have had to go through this. But I must say, you and Ryan have such an inspiring strength. You will never know how many souls you have touched and inspired. Your ability to continue to fight for your family and Ryan is unbelievable.
I met Ryan during a visit I made to see a friend at WVU during my senior year of highschool. Ryan’s contagious smile and beaming personality really stuck out to me. He was so friendly and so kind. I had conversation with Ryan about my decision to attend WVU that coming fall, and he made me so excited through his passion for the school. He also assured me that he would be there to help me out my freshman year and would show me around. Ryan was a stranger to
me, and I couldn’t believe how nice he was to say he would help me through the scary transition of highschool to college. It saddens me that I never really got a chance to know Ryan. But just through the small conversation I had with him I learned what a passionate, kind person he is. I pray for you and your family and I’m “still here” and always will be.
We will never leave you……your family and Ryan are always in my thoughts. Thank you for always sharing. ♡
So sorry but please keep the faith and keep fighting! My world quit turning July 13, 2005 when I lost my 19 yo daughter Ashley so I know the never ending pain. Sending prayers for peace!!
I’ve read every article, I’ve shared the posts, I’ve commented, and I always will. I’ll never forget.
We are here. It is not much comfort, but we offer our hearts and shoulders. We love you all. Especially Ryan.
Hello Ken, sometimes it feels like yesterday when Ryan was attacked and lying in a hospital bed and Sue pleaded for your help and you told her, “We got this.”
No one could rescue you from this nightmare; you had take the lead and walk the gauntlet for your son in spite of your terror and brokenness.
Yet you did it and you’re still doing it for Ryan.
In a slip of time’s prism it could have been my child or the child of someone reading this sentence right now.
What good would it do anyone to know of a chance to help a wounded innocent and not do so? To refuse to extend a hand is to miss an opportunity to experience the vastness of love and how it transforms all in its path.
There was all of your life before the nightmare of November 7, 2009 — and all the life after. The highest beauty and the deepest devastation.
There was my life before I met you and Ryan, Sue and Kari, and my life after ….the highest beauty and the deepest devastation….the ultimate sorrow and the everlasting inspiration.
The hand of God picked many of us up and took us to you and gave us the blessing of knowing you. So I am still here, as is my family. I cannot nor would I ever want to leave. I know beauty when I see it — the indefatigable love of a Father for his family. The hand of God moving in a dark and fallen world. I know beauty when I see it.
Do not despair; He is with you.
Love, prayers, hope and faith — no matter what the days bring or where the years may take us.
Paula
————————————————————————————————–
I listen for him through the rain,
And in the dusk of starless hours
I know that he will come again;
Loth was he ever to forsake me:
He comes with glimmering of flowers
And stir of music to awake me.
Spirit of purity, he stands
As once he lived in charm and grace:
I may not hold him with my hands,
Nor bid him stay to heal my sorrow;
Only his fair, unshadowed face
Abides with me until to-morrow.
Siegfried Sassoon
God Bless You Ken, Sue, Kari, and Ryan. My family and I are not going anywhere. We will always be here, always pray, always hope, and always believe. We love you all.
Sitting here in tears…we are still here and still praying for you, Ryan and your family.
You are such a good person. Your strength and love is amazing. Prayers for your family.
Ken, there are no words to express how my heart aches for you and Sue. At one time, Ryan was a fixture at our house and he always made us laugh. So many memories. Thank you for keeping all of us informed through your blog–It must be really hard at times. Your strength and courage never cease to amaze me and your unconditional love for Ryan is a story all in itself. We continue to lift you and your family up in prayer and want you to know that we will always be Team Diviney! Love you all!
Praying for Ryan & your family! I pray for a miracle to happen for you all!! God bless all of you!
As a full time caregiver to my son who suffered a severe brain injury and relies on me for everything, I feel ever ounce of today with you! Please know that today will pass not easily or quickly but it will be tomorrow soon.. Believe me when I tell you that Ryan knows you are there my sons heartbeat lowers whenever I’m in his room or talking to him. They know we are there they know we take care of them, and oh how I hate brain injuries and I wish I could take your pain away but I can’t.I can only stand by and hope to absorb some of your pain ken.. I know what you do every day and I will confirm that time does not heal, in this situation It has been six years for us and its still as painful as day one! Hang tight Ryan is my hero today! Much love Marie And nic
Ken, not sure how you do it. No sound sleep, constant worry and concern over Ryan’s health and complications on a daily basis. I, like many of the folks that read your heart felt blog, wish that Ryan could hug you back.
Thinking of you and your family. ❤️
Praying for your family everyday.❤❤
Im the mother of a man who was hit by a train 18 years ago and I too understand how you feel about Ryan never being the same. I too have a son who will never be the same person he was before his accident and I miss that person at times.!yes I am lucky he survived and can live on his own but it’s hard at times cause he will never be the same. I am lucky he can do for himself but he will never be the same. I pray for you that Ryan will come back and talk to you but no he will never be the same. This poor young man has been given a death sentence in his wen body but I know you would not want him gone. I said the same thing watching by son Ina coma. I pray for your whole family that maybe at some point you can find some kind of peace. As for the shitheads that did this just remember they will never forget no matter how much they try so they will not find peace in their lives. God bless you !!!!!
Mr. Diviney my heart aches with yours… May gods grace and peace be with you on this day… Love to you, Ryan and the rest of your precious family!!!
Reading, Praying, and understand on many levels.
So well written, as always. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
I’ve been following you for some time but have never commented. I pray for your family daily. The strength and courage you have is beyond amazing. The entire world feels your love for Ryan. God Vless your family.
Precious photo
I haven’t been a member of Team Diviney for very long, but I plan to be around as long as you’ll let me. Every time I read a new post or reread the account of what happened to Ryan I get a knot in my stomach. I cannot fathom how anyone could do that to another human being. But then I guess I live in my own small world and try to shield myself from such monstrosity. Mr. Diviney, you write from your heart and show us the raw emotions that most of us keep to ourselves. I’m sure you need this outlet – I cannot imagine the physical and mental tiredness that must consume you. We need to read your words to keep Ryan in our hearts (how could we not) and to make us more appreciative of our day to day routine. My prayers are with your entire family.
Ken, Reading this post honestly made me cry. I think the people at work think I’m crazy for crying while looking at a computer right now. But that’s okay. They don’t know what I’m reading or why I am crying. I know it might not mean much, but I want you to know that myself and the rest of Team Diviney will never leave your side! We are always going to be here for you, through thick and thin. We all love Ryan and your entire family! We would do anything for you all. Ryan will always be kept relevant as long as all of us Team Diviney members are here. No doubt about it. You will never have to worry about being alone, because that will never be an option. I know Ryan will never be the same, as will none of you. My hope is that by some miracle though, Ryan can wake up and give the hugs, kisses, and “I love you’s” back. You stated that pain doesn’t go away with time and I couldn’t agree with you more. Pain only grows stronger. I may not know the pain you, Sue, and Kari go through, but I know something similar. Losing someone you love at the hand of another person is the worst feeling anyone could ever have to possibly endure. I am constantly praying for you all and hoping for a miracle. I know that miracles are possible especially with God on our side. It’s so hard to fathom the fact that it is now 5 years later and both monsters are already released. It’s okay though, because Karma will catch up with them. Even if they don’t pay for their crime in this life, they will pay for it in the next one. Sending tons of love and prayers your way! Much, much love!
Continued prayers from Morgantown! <3
Ken, my brother, I wish I knew what to say. I do not understand the mystery of human suffering, why bad things happen to good people and vice versa. There MUST be some plan in this. Certainly, Ryan’s vicious assault has brought together thousands of people, thousands of prayers. (I, too, found you via Tripp Halstead & the amazing Ride to Give). I believe Ryan feels your love and, indirectly, the love and prayers of thousands of people who have never met Ryan or each other but have come to love you all dearly. “There are no strangers here, only friends we haven’t met!” The Post Stroke Club. Love is perhaps the most basic, primordial human emotion. It seemed a little too pat and a little too anthropomorphic, but we saw that in the Penguins movie some years back when the mother penguin’s baby died. I believe Ryan feels your love without any consciousness. Let’s also hope and pray that, perhaps, Ryan understands all this on some non-conscious level if he cannot communicate it.
You feel OUR love, Ken & family. And, no, we will NEVER leave you. GOD will never leave you. I don’t know why evil exists–and it does. You know that. We’ve seen that in the beheading of journalists in the Mideast. NPR News just aired a story about 3 teenagers in Ohio who pleaded guilty to assaulting an autistic young man, dumping bodily fluids all over him. One’s lawyer said, “It was a prank. My client should get community service.” Even given it’s the lawyer’s job to exculpate his client, that’s a new low. That’s NOT a “prank.” I guess we take heart that, at the end. God WILL sort it all out. God is with you and Ryan and your family. He will NEVER leave you. And WE will never leave you. We are here for you for the long haul. Peace, my brother and God bless.
PK & Tim
We’ll never leave you! Or your family.
Sharing again. It’s so sad and frustrating that Ryan and his family’s life have been forever changed by something that should never have happened. Your story constantly reminds me how lucky we are that my Grandson “only” suffered a broken jaw and humiliation and frustration. He was sucker punched for a video a few years ago. I still hope and pray for a miracle for Ryan!
Thoughts and prayers are always with you and your family!!!
Always in my thoughts and prayers!
I have no words but many emotions. Your family and the strength you share and show each day amaze me. Thank you for sharing your son and brother with the rest of us. Love you guys
I don’t know you but I’m with you guys…Love the love and devotion to and for Ryan…Bless you guys always
I pray for you all often and continue to believe and hold out hope you will see a miracle.
Team Diviney will never leave. We promise you that. <3
Wild Horses Couldn’t Drag Me Away.
Ken-amazing article. Amazing son. Amazing family. I wish I could do more for the family. We all wish we could lift the burden off of your shoulders. To give you a much-deserved break from the worry and heartbreak. We can give you our love, though. And our prayers and support. God Bless you and your family.
As a nurse, I look at this and think “those bastards, karma will get them”….as a mother, my heart hurts WITH you, not for you. I will continue to pray for you, Ryan and your family.
YOU are my inspiration ….Ryan and your family are in my daily prayers
In my heart
Ken.. Much love and prayers to you and your family today. All of us here have your back and we will never leave!
Rest assured, we will never leave you. Even though it feels otherwise, God has not forsaken Ryan or your family either. We will continue to stand strong in our faith on your behalf as we pray for continued healing, strength, perseverance, hope and restoration. This is not the end of Ryan’s story or relevance in this broken world. Keep holding onto one another and leaning on us for support, Divineys. Love does conquer all, and your love for Ryan is powerful indeed. We love him too!
As I read this today, just as with every time I read your posts about Ryan and your family my eyes well over with tears. I have a six year old daughter and I cannot imagine losing her in this way, having the ability to hold and talk to her with no chance of a return. You are an amazing father and husband, your family the same, no one should have to endure what you have for five years due to no good reason. I honestly do not understand how you guys move forward, but I know we all do what we must do, especially for our children. Just believe that Ryan knows your love and know that there are so many out there that hurt with you, that cry with and for you and love Ryan even though we will never meet him.
Love and prayers to you all always!
And thank you for inspiring ME…..for helping me to be a better mom and to have more patience.
Ryan is so lucky to have you as his father…you are truly amazing and so incredibly devoted. You and your family are such very special people….
Your strength and love for your son shines so bright. Don’t ever let life dull your sparkle. You truly are a shinning example of what it means to have unconditional love. Prayers from your prayer warrior in GA.
I am not one to comment on the blogs I read, but I must tell you something. Ryan is so fortunate to have you for his Dad. Your devotion and dedication to him is unwavering and awe inspiring. God bless you and your family, and especially, Ryan. Thank you for sharing your heart with us…
I’ve changing my profile picture to Ryan Diviney and his father, Kevin Diviney for the weekend. On November 7, 2009 Ryan was attack by Austin Vantrease and Jonathon May. One sucker punched him and the other kick him in the head after Ryan fell to the ground and was unconscious. Much of the encounter was captured on the convenience store’s video surveillance, which showed Ryan trying to escape and this all started after words were exchanged about the Word Series Cup. Go here to read the full story. http://www.ryansrall.org
Mr. Diviney 24 hour care for his son, make me strive to become a better parent each and every day. Ryan’s story makes me see the world in a different outlook, an all-American boy with the whole world ahead of him and how quickly it can be taken away. It just goes to show you that you can raise your children to be respectable adults and then there are other parents that show their children no guidance at all and they grow up to become monster that disrespect others and have no remorse for their actions.
Love your children and tell them every single day. Teach them manners and to show respect to others. And when they become adults stay in their “business” as needed. You just might help them from making a horrible mistake one day.
Shared <3
Prayers continue for all of you. Ryan will ALWAYS remain relevant because you won’t let him be anything else!
Ken…there are no words, no understanding for the pain you and your family experience every day. I wish you could all get your lives back. Sending you all much needed love.
The emotion and reality of your posts always leaves my heart aching for you all. I pray for comfort and strength. Ryan and his family are on my mind often.
Always in my thoughts and prayers. We always have to believe there is hope . Everyday is a new day. Hard as it is to forget this day five years ago, I just pray there are moments in every day, that gives you the strength to face tomorrow for what it is. My prayer is for a miracle for Ryan. Praying !
I’m thinking of you guys today – well, not just today – but especially today. Hugs Ken.
I found your blog through Ride to Give and Tripp Halstead and have been following since. Reading this this morning made me full on sob. I’m so sorry for all you go through. Prayers to your family, to Ryan and may justice be served.
You are an unbelievably strong man and you inspire others. Thank you for always sharing. God bless you and your family always.
Strength and comfort to all. We will always keep Ryan relevant<3
I helped take care of Ryan when he was in the ICU at Ruby! I think of Ryan and your family often! I can still see his beautiful sister sitting by his side talking to him! I have 3 young boys of my own and I’m not sure I would have the strength you all have! I’ve often wanted to reach out to you all but never know what to say! Please know I’m am praying for Ryan and your whole family! My heart breaks for you all and I hate you have to go through this ! Sending prayers always!
You hit me close to home again, Ken. The people who say things get better with time just don’t know what it’s like. Rejoice in the fact that they can’t know without having to suffer as you do.
What really got me is your statement about saying “I’m sorry” when you get emotional about Ryan. I’ve been there myself, and what you say is so true. You aren’t apologizing for your grief; you are apologizing for making other people feel uncomfortable because they feel powerless to help you.
The most beautiful thing about your devotion to Ryan is that it could only be possible if he was worthy of it. I don’t think anyone who knows you will ever leave you. God bless you and may you find peace in spite of your pain.
Ryan and your family are always close to my heart and prayers. I’m not sure how you stay so strong, except for your children you do without a thought. I am praying today for you all.
STAY STRONG! <3
SHSP, NGA.
Thoughts and prayers ,Ken, and know we are with you all
Love you Ryan!!!! Today hurts many people, myself included. I have a knot in my stomach as I say “5years” out loud. Makes me literally sick. Its not fair. I pray you and your parents (and Kari) find strength and comfort today. Lots of love from Ohio xoxox
Always,,,
<3
I find myself often thinking of you and your family. You write with such emotion that I know I feel connected in some small way. As you asked, I have shared your post. Keeping Ryan relevant on this tragic day that marks your families life being forever changed. I continue to pray for a miracle and peace, strength and energy for your family.
<3 & prayer as always.
I can’t believe it has been five years. I have shared the post, used the pic as my profile pic, and have asked folks to donate. Thinking about and praying for you, Sue, Kari, and most importantly RYAN.
I think of Ryan and your family almost every day. Especially today. It’s my birthday, but now Ryan always comes to mind first when I think of November 7th. God bless!
❤️
You inspire all those around you with your endless love and dedication to Ryan! Thank you for sharing…
The quiet village is here and listening, hurting and praying for you and Ryan and everyone else who loves and supports him.
Praying for comfort for both of you.
I have not forgotten Ryan or you all. I pray each day for that God gives you the strength to continue on. I know that there are no spoken/written words that will heal the ache in your heart. My heart hurts for Ryan and for you too!! Love and prayers!