In just a few weeks Ryan will be without roughly ⅓ of his skull. I waited to tell you about this until after the Memorial Day holiday we celebrate in the United States, but have known about this happening for weeks. I worried about it for much, much longer.
It’s not the first time. He was in this delicate situation once before. Ryan lived this way for eight months. It all began the morning after the brutal attack. To keep him from dying, one-third of his left skull plate was removed to allow his brain room to swell. It was disconcerting to see my son in this state where his head was unnaturally sunken in. Worse than that was the realization that his brain was only a layer of skin and a membrane away… essentially, there was little protection.
Eventually this was closed — in the summer or 2010 — in a procedure known as a cranioplasty. To do this, a large incision was made in his scalp to allow it to flap open. Then a sheet of titanium mesh was place over the opening in his skull and screwed to the bone. It was all sutured closed and we thought that would be the last of it.
Turns out, we were wrong.
Titanium Mesh causing skin breakdown.
About a year ago I noticed a small indentation in his scalp near the left temple. It slowly began to sink further and further, until one day I could see the metal (titanium mesh) beginning to punch through his scalp. I called in the proper doctors and had CT scans to monitor it and we all hoped it would stabilize. Otherwise complicated surgeries were the only solution.
It didn’t.
Instead it kept getting worse. The skin breakdown is slowly expanding and deepening with each passing month. The titanium mesh is clearly visible now. The area around it is sunken at least an inch — almost certainly more — as far as I can tell, anyhow. Surgery is unavoidable.
Did you know that this will be Ryan’s 4th and 5th surgeries this year… all tied in some way to the brain injury he suffered at the hands (and feet) of Jonathan May and Austin Vantrease?
In mid-June Ryan will begin the process. Although, effective today I am imposing “reverse quarantine” which means Ryan’s environment (i.e., our home) will be even more closely monitored and controlled of invasive germs until after this is entirely behind him… roughly 60 days.
Ryan with his skull plate removed (January 2010).
The first surgery will open his scalp, unscrew and remove the titanium mesh, and close it back up. Ryan will then be absent any structural protection and his head will be sunken for one month. This is necessary to lower the chance of infection (or clear an infection if one develops) and to give time for his scalp to stretch for the follow-up surgery. I hate the thought of seeing my son like this again! Even worse, I hate that this puts him at such peril. One bump to that unprotected area and the outcome could be deadly. To minimize this danger, the only protection is for him to wear a helmet.
Once he gets a month out from that he will go in for the last surgery (hopefully his last). This one will again make an incision along (but just inside) the original scarred area. A new plate will be placed and secured… this one of a polymer material instead of titanium. Finally, the scalp will be stretched and sutured back into place.
I’m telling you, it hurts like unholy hell to see my son in that condition. I never got use to it back then and I won’t when it happens again.
It will tear me apart.
Ah, brain injury! It touches every part of the body. It’s the worst thing that can happen to a person. It’s so relentless.
So in your face.
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Would love to always get updated outstanding web blog!
I hope your son is in a good condition, I’m wishing the best for you and Ryan. God bless you and your family! 🙂
Just reading this breaks my heart I am so sorry Ryan and your Family had to go through this awful time in your lives. God Bless you all always.
Praying!
Best wishes and prayers for him during this. I’m sure it’s very scary and concerning that his brain is so vulnerable during this process since it will have little protection around it. I’m an occupational therapist at Johns Hopkins and we typically fit patients in his situation with a soft shell helmet so that it acts as a form of protection while they don’t have a flap or mesh in. I’m not sure if this is the practice where he gets care, but I believe it could potentially be an option for some security.
I can tell people about Ryan . I believe that is what you want . I can think about you and your family often . I can pray for Ryan and your family . I can honor you and your family by reading your posts and I can go on the wish list and contribute something to make it easier for you . Thank you
Paula Roemer
Praying for a successful outcome. The site looks good, not infected, good to get it taken care of. Always thinking of you.
Always thinking of Ryan and the Diviney family. Praying for a great outcome. I know it is easier said than done, but please take care of yourself also. ALWAYS in out thoughts and prayers.
U are all always in my thoughts and prayers!!
God Bless!!!!
Ken,
I’m so sorry that this nightmare continues for you and Sue and Kari. No words touches it. No words ever did. All i can offer is my heartfelt prayers and a reminder that I am still here, still praying, and I am never going away.
My thoughts are with you always. I am so sorry that Ryan and your family have to deal with this set back. It truly is not fair at all. I too cry, like many others have said, for you. I have no idea what you must feel, because this breaks my heart and I have never met Ryan or you. I hope his recovery is quick and without complication.
I just want to comment on this train of thought. Ryan may be in a chronic vegetative state–whatever the verbiage is today. He’s not connected to a respirator so there’s no “plug” to pull. It’s one thing for someone who is terminally ill–NOT just disabled–to choose to end his/her suffering. Dr. Kevorkian, be he an instrument of God or the devil–certainly brought the issue to the forefront, MADE us deal with it. I do believe we, ourselves, have the right to say, if we are terminally ill or coping with the ravages of ALS, etc., “Lord it is enough now take away my life. [Paraphrase of Elijah] Lord. youre busy, you have billions of other people on your mind. It’s OK God, i’ll find someone to do a little of your dirty work for you!” [that line is a paraphrase from Intern by Dr. X re 40 years ago.] But Ryan isn’t capable of such a decision & Ken could never make that decision for Ryan. We don’t know what Ryan may comprehend but be unable to express. TBI is a funny thing. I know a young man here who suffered a traumatic brain injury. He had a 6 years painful recovery process. But he remembered everything that was said/done to him.
Ken, Ryan & family God be with you. I especially pray his surgery will go well and it will, indeed, the the last he will need
PK & Tim
PS A former coworker’s grandmother incurred a TBI in an auto accident. For a long time, if you asked her something, she understood & responded appropriate–in her native Spanish despite complete fluency in English after 32 years in the US.
That’s very interesting about speaking spanish after a TBI. I do think Ryan’s family is doing what he wanted as they had a conversation before his attack in which he said if something just like this happened to him, he wanted them to do all that they could. They are honoring him as they told him they would. There is a post here somewhere about it because it still gives me chills thinking about it and because Ken is such a great author, I can feel crisp air, hear the quietness and oddly feel like I am eaves dropping on a conversation between a son and his parents.
I am sorry Ryan has to endure another surgery and will pray that it is successful and that he recovers quickly. God Bless Ryan and your family.
Thoughts and prayers <33 I've followed your posts for quite some time. You are such a strong family
Praying for you and Ryan during this time!!!!! Xoxoxo
I want to ask a question but I don’t want it to be taken wrong and I don’t want to be spammed with hate for it. I have supported Ryan’s Rally since I first heard about it. Have signed every petition I could to help out. But my question is this, wouldn’t it be best to not keep Ryan artificially alive? If I remember correctly I read that a significant portion of Ryan’s brain has been removed? Thus it sounds like there is no chance of Ryan ever waking up. It sounds like he will be forever in a wheelchair and in that vegetative state. I never knew Ryan but I can’t imagine he would want that. I get so angry and frustrated seeing him in that wheelchair and knowing what those people stole from him that night. I’m sorry if my question is taken wrong because I never meant it to be. Maybe he is better off than I know. I sure hope he is. I have prayed many times for him to be healed and will continue to do so. The Diviney family is so incredible and so strong.
I don’t think any of Ryan’s brain was taken out. I didn’t understand how it worked but Ken explained to me that when you don’t have the skull cap (bone) that your brain loses fluid and it caves in on the side where the bone is missing. When they remove it they sometimes implant it into the persons stomach and it stays alive and is reattached at a later time. With Ryan they removed the skull and replaced a small portion with this mesh the rest was replaced with his own skull. When it was whole again the fluid filled the brain back again and it was the same size as it was before his attack.
He isn’t living on machines and nothing is keeping him alive except for his family feeding him. If you were ill and your family didn’t feed you, you might die but because you are ill they would feed you. Same with Ryan. He isn’t dead, he is still alive all by himself. His family watches for things like temperatures, infections, blood pressure and this mesh issue. I believe he is very much alive in that body of his. Have you seen the photos? He is in better condition that most kids his age, he does that all by himself.
Keep praying for his family and for more awareness so this horrible type of tragedy will end and perhaps miracles will abound to help Ryan. 🙂
No problem asking questions and gaining clarity.
Ryan is not on life support of any kind. Also, no portion of his brain was removed.
God bless this precious son.
Why didnt they keep the bone and replace it. They did this for me about two months ago
Prayers from the Nelms family to yours.
So sorry. Prayers for Ryan and your family.
Sending prayers to all of you.
Prayers for Ryan and the family
My thoughts and prayers have been with the Diviney family from day one… My prayers will continue. God bless Ryan and family and friends that have been by his side.
So sorry to hear about this – we love you all.
Prayers for the fam!
Well, this is awful. I’m so sorry. Hugs.
I hope he’s not currently in pain. I pray for Ryan and your family often.
Oh Ken and Sue, I am so upset that Ryan has to endure all of this. Please know that we are all here to help, scream, cry or whatever it is that you need. I am sorry I have not written in a bit, we have moved in our house and my mom had her breast cancer surgery, always know Ryan is always in my face, thinking, praying and hoping that everything will with the surgeries will be fine. Please God take care of Ryan during these tense times of these surgeries, and Ken stay strong your the other part of Ryan that keeps him going.
All of our love and prayers from Louisiana, love ya’ll
Michael from Morgantown here. Mr. Diviney I’ve said it 100 times but you and your family have so much support in this town. I will have my priest at my church say a special prayer for Ryan and his outcome. My family as well as other families are thinking and praying for you guys.
Holding you in the light. Always.
I went to school with Ryan, we were never close…I don’t remember if we actually ever spoke but we had mutual friends. Nobody should ever have to go through something like this. I always tall about how strong your family is and I wish you all the best. I pray for you all the time.
It still breaks my heart to see how much you and your family have gone through since that vicious attack. Praying for Ryan that these upcoming surgeries will go well and will soon be a very distant memory for all of you.
Glad you shared with us, Ken. Will be sending positive thoughts all summer and praying he gets through it all as smoothly as possible.
Glad you shared with us, Ken. Will be sending positive thoughts all summer and praying he gets through it all as smoothly as possible.
I will be keeping you and Ryan in my thoughts.
Ken and family: So sorry that Ryan has to go through this again.
So much pain, so sorry
I pray for him and for your entire family.
I am so sorry to hear this news. You know that I am here for you and lifting you all in prayer, and I know that Ryan will conquer this next hurdle valiantly, as always. Love you Divineys — stay strong!!
Continued prayers for you, Ryan. I’m sorry those monsters have caused you and your family such pain.
So sorry Ryan and you all have to have more stress in your life. Wish I could make this better.Hugs1
Ken,
It hurts like hell to read this post – I am positively sickened by what Ryan has endured and continues to endure. As his loving father and caretaker, I can’t fathom your what you are dealing with either. All I can do is continue to offer my heartfelt love, support, and prayers for you, Sue, Ryan and Kari.
SHSP, NGA,
Carla
sending prayers for comfort
Sending prayers
Praying for Ryan
Ken, I am so, so sorry Ryan has to endure more surgeries and more suffering for you all.
Those two who did this injury to Ryan ,in my opinion, should never walk the streets again’
Know that Ryan will get through this and be fine, and hope you, Sue and Kari will stay strong
as you’ve always been .No words to understand the pain you all are going through.
Just know ,always here, always praying and always with you in spirit. Hugs and NGA
love Gail
Please ,when you can ,keep us updated TY
Will this affect the parole hearing? Has that been set yet? I know last year it was in July, if there are 60 days of quarantine, will you be able to attend?
The parole hearing will happen, no matter how Ryan is.
~~Sending Prayers for Ryan~~!!
Stay strong Mr. D. You’re always in the thoughts and prayers of my family. You are one hell of a father!
As I read your post, tears welled up in my eyes. This isn’t how it’s suppose to be. Brain injuries suck! Ryan has been through enough and Lord knows, your family has suffered greatly as well. Please, please get a law in place to “stick it” to people who perform such crimes. It’s just not ok to only serve a few years when you’ve taken life away from an awesome young man who was trying to make a difference in this crazy world. If anyone can do this, you can! Diviney’s Law. My heart breaks for all of you. God’s got this! You’ve got this! There just aren’t words, so I will stop typing…and keep praying.
Dear Ken,
I had noticed that the last time I had visited, but knew you had everything under control. Well, as much as you can ever have something as horrific as this under control. Ryan is in my heart always. I pray that the doctors keep Ryan safe and protected during this surgery. Much love, Jen
As I read this My stomache turn to even think anyone has to go threw any of this. All I can say is my heart and my thoughts are with all of you every step. I am hoping and praying that something positive will come out with all of this. XO
Ken, you’ve answered some of my questions I had about at what stage after Ryan’s attack , was he taken to Shephard Center. You said three months later, was that for what they call their ” wake up program”? Prayers be with Ryan and family as he faces yet another hurdle .
Makes me sad:( just not fair… One thing after another for Ryan. How scary that he will be in such a dangerous situation with not having his skull to protect his Brain. Love ya Ryan. Thinking of you always buddy. I’m sorry you have to keep enduring all this pain and sorrow at the hands of those evil , punk, demonic cowards!!!!!!! Hugs xoxo
Prayers for all…
Ken and family I am so sorry to learn of this. I have been away from the site for some time however I have not forgotten your story. While we have never met I do feel somewhat connected as you have opened up so much of your lives to us while telling Ryan’s story. There are so many trivial things that the rest of us get upset about. Being cut off in traffic or the slightest inconvenience sometimes sets us off. I feel I have a lot to learn but do try to think of you and family from time to time.
It takes an incredibly strong person in you to stay strong and continue to fight. I become overcome with anger when I think of what happened. I can’t imagine your emotions. Those cowardly punks white trash POS’s. There are not enough negative words in the English language to describe them.
Those two idiots had no business in the WVU family and besides a few other misguided souls in their corner the rest of us look down on them with extreme prejudice. They will forever be judged by all of us for what they have done. Right or wrong we will forever look down upon them long after their sentence.
All the best to you and family…
Prayers
Oh my god!!! Honestly how much more can one family endure? I told my husband and all he said was, that poor family. Petrified for you all, crossing all that I can cross for you! When is his surgery?
In a few weeks… mid-June.
Ken, I never know what to say. I leave my comments so you know I’m reading, I’m here and I care. Sending you love and strength…to all of you.
Prayers for positive results.
Sending love and prayers for Ryan and all of you, his devoted family. I have also added Ryan to our daily church prayer group here in CT.
It’s so hard to endure, reading makes you hurt so bad that I can’t even imagine the pain you guys are going have gone trough.. Many many prayers and so much love and good vibes 🙂
Wow my heart hurts for all of you
Prayers for Ryan and the family daily.
Prayers!!
Sending lots of love and prayers
Poor Ryan. He did nothing to deserve what VanTrease and May did to him. It’s impossible to calculate the full extent of the damage and suffering they have caused Ryan and your family. May got off easy, and for that matter, so did VanTrease. This situation is made worse by the unapologetic lack of concern on the part of either of these men or their families. Deplorable and scary behavior to say the least.
I am so sorry Ryan has to undergo additional surgeries due to the damage inflicted upon him. So unfair. Please know we are always here surrounding Ryan and your family with love, prayers and concern.
Wishing you and Ryan a smooth and positive day in the Spring sunshine. Thinking of you both and praying for peace, healing and daily renewal of hope and strength.
Love and hugs, Paula
TBI is horrible! It’s awful for a parent to endure this journey and it’s not fair to them or us! Sending strength and prayers to all.
I am so sorry to hear that Ryan will be having to endure more surgeries and that your family will be saddled with even more fear & worry. I will pray for all of you.
Sending love and positive energy.
Prayers for the whole family.
Praying for you all
Prayers!
I can’t imagine your pain. 🙁 Prayers!!!
Praying for Ryan and strength for ya’ll!
Thoughts and prayers for Ryan. Stay strong!
Praying for all of you and for the surgery to go smoothly .
Prayers for Ryan
Prayers for Ryan
Prayers
God be with you all. I wish I could say or do something that could take Ryan’s–and your–pain away but all I can offer is my prayers. They will continue along with the thousands who read your postings. And of course, Deacon Sue uplifts the Wednesday Prayer Table intentions to the Worldwide Anglican Community. I don’t know why God allows such horrible things to happen. But I do believe, in then end, God WILL “set all things right, in heaven and in earth.” as He promised. I’m sorry Ryan and all of you have to go through this. I pray his surgery will be successful and solve the problem for once and for all. Ryan is blessed to have you as his Caregiver, on top of all his problems.
Prayers for Ryan and the family. Thank you for sharing.
In my prayers!
I know, Ken. Stay strong! Tough call.
Well, dang. Praying for all to go very smoothly. So sorry he has to endure this.
Oh, no! Disturbing news, but know Ryan is in God’s hands.
I will continue to pray everyday for all of you!
My thoughts and prayers are with you all and will continue to be!
My thoughts and prayers are with Ryan and all the family as he undergoes yet another surgery. Such a sad journey caused by the senseless actions of others. My heart breaks when I read the posts and see Ryan. May God Bless you all!!