In June of 2011, I came across an interesting article on CNN.com, titled, How to Respond to Online Haters. It’s a comprehensive article that involves more than blogs or personal websites. It talks about anyone that uses Facebook, Tweeter, and so on. Meaning everyone is touched by these cretins. Back then I wrote about how it applies to ryansrally.org a few days later. Today’s post expands on that original post.
I need to tell you, I read that CNN article with a great deal of interest, both then and today. It rings entirely true right here on our website. It’s about those trolls that pop in-and-out looking to cause a reaction by making vengeful comments.
As you know, this website has these sorts.
The CNN article validated what I thought all along about these characters. These are people who are:
- wanting to cause a reaction,
- jealous they don’t have a popular social platform,
- hiding in the shadows (probably behind a dumpster too),
- using the success of another’s blog to make their point, and
- crying to be noticed, they crave attention.
Take a second to look at those five points again. I’ll wait.
Well? What do you think?
First, their “opinions” carry zero weight with me. I know the truth and there’s nothing they can say that can hurt me. Further, do they really believe they will sway anyone’s opinion? It’s crazy when their comments are often longer than my post. The courtroom was packed with people and media. They know the truth too, and are not shy about sharing it. Really, if push comes to shove, anyone can buy the trial and sentencing transcripts. So, for those who like to counter with that tired adage, There’s three sides to every story, yours, theirs, and the truth, then let’s stick to the truth; that suits me fine! Just fine, indeed! The facts will give what is needed to know the truth. No need for anyone to play detective here.
Second, I’m not inclined to block these people. Why? Simple. The website explodes with activity when they enter they conversation. Beyond this, I can feel the loyalty of readers strengthening. Think about it, some of the most commented posts I’ve written had very little to do with my actual post, and almost everything to do with an inappropriate comment. So, yes, it’s good to know how to
deal with use haters… but never become one.
Still, sometimes these haters cross-the-line and must be blocked. These rare comments add no value and their evil intent is transparent. There only reason is to incite anger and astonishment. These
never rarely make it on the website. I use them if, and when, I want; like today.
Allow me to give you two examples from this week. More specifically, from my last two posts:
- On post, A Panorama of Ryan’s Room: Nice looks like a sweet room for a retard 😉 awesome job!!
- On post, Therapy Achievement: Nine Miles Biked! It has nothing to with Ryan allegedly being made of “the right stuff” that’s keeping him alive, it’s the modern medicine and all that other machines and bullshit you dump tons of money into that’s keeping him alive. And if he was really made of “the right stuff” he would be able to take a punch. Then again Ken seems to be a real big pussy so it makes sense his son would crumble like a wet tissue from one punch lol. I mean comeon the kids never gonna come out of that coma or whatever it is. Your better off making a Mr. Potatohead and calling it Ryan at least then youd save some money. The kid is missing half his brain there’s no way he’s making a recovery from that. IMO you should’ve let him die in the beginning, then Austin and John would still be in prison and you’d have less to bitch about. Also the pictures you have up of him look disgusting do you really think your son would want all those embarrassing ugly pictures of him blasted all over the Internet, doubt it.
As for the above two comments, like similar others, I just brush them off with the knowledge that I’m really pissing them off. I like that! A lot!
I wonder if they even know that their hate-filled words don’t even see the light of day on this website… unless, that is, I want to exploit them? All it takes is one such comment from someone with bogus credentials and I throw a block up. From then on, when they hit “Submit Comment” it automatically is directed into an archive folder that only I can see (if I care to look, which is seldom) and never it bothers the readers.
Even so, let this be my one and only acknowledgement that they are well advised to be very careful they don’t cross the line.
Don’t get me wrong, I will never understand why they are mean to a victim, his family, and his supporters. They are nothing more than virtual bullies and abusers, in my opinion. I’m not sure how it escapes them, but they have yet to realize Team Diviney is not weak and submissive. We’re not the type to be picked on; let’s face it, we’re much smarter (and this is exactly what is needed with online interaction). It takes more than them hiding behind the internet, or so they think (this will be the topic of a future post), for us to take them seriously. For now, we’ll just keep an eye on them and giggle at their antics. What they say is not relevant, but I am happy to use it to keep Ryan so. To me, I think of them as my minions. I really do.
So, I guess in a weird way, thank you. Then again, I really don’t need their help. As the youngsters like to say (and I find particularly annoying)… Whatever!
Dr. Diane Hamilton (see related article below) describes it as a lack of “Emotional Intelligence” in her article. From the way these people write, it’s obvious they also lack cognitive intelligence too. Well, at least a poor grasp on spelling, punctuation, persuasion, logic, and grammar. Stay in school, Kids!
Really, most people just don’t think that way (do they?). I wish I believed it’s not personal but I know it is. This is not a problem. I wonder if they are like this with every other person in the world. It wouldn’t surprise me. No, not in the least.
I believe they hate because others (Ryan, my family, and Team Diviney as a whole) are loved.
A comment from the original version of this post that I especially enjoyed:
Paula: “… you’re right — it’s a great way to get a dialogue going here, because — anyone says anything inane, antagonistic, or ugly towards our boy or his family is going to get it. No, not with fists, because we are not uncivilized, cowardly barbarians who commit criminal acts against innocent people. Those kinds of morally compromised reprobates wind up in jail, just where they belong. Oh, they may get out of jail, but when a person does something so heinous and never strives to make it right with the person they attacked — it follows them every step of their lives.”
Here’s a healthy outlet for you. Please sign and recruit as many people as possible to sign the Anti-Parole Petition. This is how we deal with problems, not by creeping on websites and making hateful comments.
- The Haters: Three Ways to Nuke a Hater (socyberty.com)
- Generation of Haters Hiding Behind Social Media Anonymity (drdianehamilton.wordpress.com)
Some people really are heartless and mean and miserable and they try to make people feel like them. I think about Ryan almost everyday and I really do hope that he gets up and soon. I come on here to see how he’s progressing and I love that you have such a strong support system. Its good that you do not let the negativity bring you down.
I read from afar and follow Ryan’s progress often but I am just reading this and just had to reply. It is truly sickening how evil people are. Whether or not they support your sons attackers, they should be disgusted at the damage they did to not just him but your entire family. They have no soul if they can poke fun at Ryan or call him names. They both belong in jail and for a long time. Maybe at some point they will understand the repurcussions of their actions. It is completely repulsive that humans can act this way.
David J Matthews says
How is this, Hate so deep, Lead us all so blindly killing killing, Fools they are, If hate’s the gate to peace,THIS IS THE LAST STOP!!!
I guess these sickies get some kind of high out of being disgusting or maybe they are Ann Coulter devotees.
God sees everything everyone does, whether it be on the internet or not. Those who do choose to write such awful and negative things about someone who is simply trying to fight for his life with the help of such an amazing and supportive family, will have their day. Call it karma or whatever else you wish. But their day will come when they have to pay for the way they treat others, on a website or in real life. On the bright side, God also sees the unconditional love you have for your son! With all of the work and support the Diviney family has been doing this entire time through Ryan’s battle, God will reward you one day too!
Prayers and thoughts always of the Diviney family and for Ryan especially!
Debbie Gilbert says
Ken, we have never met, however, I just became a supporter (in prayer and financially) and had heard about this horrible incident a couple years ago. I certainly lifted Ryan and his family up in prayer at a prayer group several times. I myself became ill, lost touch with the story and was “awakened” 2 weekends ago with the Rally for Ryan in Ashburn.
I read this post yesterday and was of course “mortified” that anyone could have such a heart of stone. Well, I spent time thinking about this, talking to God about it and just feeling a sense of overwhelming sadness for you and your family and most of all for Ryan.
Well, this morning was a new day and the Lord put this on my heart. Personally, I believe the only reason anyone could write such hatred is because they have never known the love of the Lord Jesus Christ or a God of their understanding. I would also bet my life on this also – that they have never ever been loved here on earth by their parents, family or their friends. This is not to excuse their behavior, only to try and understand. May you never be swayed by this as you and your family continue to “love” on Ryan and love each other. Sadly, their hearts have turned to stone, however, if they could reach out to God – they may be surprised by the love they receive in return. May God bless you and your wife and family and most of all Ryan.
I was picked on quite a bit growing up…because I was tall…I had a funny last name..I was from NY. My mother always told me that people picked on other people because they don’t want you to see their inadequecies. I think they think it makes them look tough or cool, but at the end of the day it makes them look dumb. They keep knocking you down so you can’t come back at them, but kudos to you Ken for taking the high road.I heard myself gasp when I read those posts. I wonder how those people feel when they go to bed at night. Good? That kind of thinking is why there are Austin Vantrese’s in the world.
Will Nier says
I always called people like that trolls. They like to spread their vermin to get a reaction. Ignoring them is best because they are by all means psychotic and suffer from some social disorder.
My prayers continue for Ryan and his family.
Gail Doyle says
Ken, Like you said ,who cares about their comments ,they are very sick individuals,saying evil things, why? to try to hurt you more ,even when they see your hurt has been turned into helping Ryan to get better
Something I never say ,but for them and others as bad , hope they all rot somewhere
You keep up all your good work and “TEAM DIVINEY and RYAN’S RALLY” are there with you always!
Sounds like the second poster has a deep hatred for Austin Vantrease and Jon May! They are possibly past bully victims or somehow tied to the case. They definitely are in need of psychological counseling.
Jill in Morgantown says
How can that pig say Ryan couldn’t take a punch?!?!?! That WASN’T a punch. That was a PUNT to the head, like they were punting a football. I’d like to see his dumb a** take that hit. So sorry you have to deal with cretens along with everything else. SHSP in Morgantown
Ken, It’s hilarious how the guy who commented on Ryan’s Therapy Achievement clearly has HUGE INADEQUACIES & INSECURITIES! His post screams weakness. It’s a pity he has to project his shortcomings onto you to feel better about himself. His parents failed miserably but then again they probably always thought he was a screw up anyway & he knows inside that he’s a failure. Talk about OVERCOMPENSATING! Poor tiny minded guy. I bet he’s lacking when it comes to women..No doubt he doesn’t measure up in SEVERAL areas! I’d bet he’s controlling & jealous to hide he’s afraid of losing a girl or for fear she’d find someone better. Ken, take delight and simply say “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful”!:0)
Totally speechless and in tears. These disgusting comments are painful to read. I can’t understand the meanness of these people. Ryan is made of the right stuff and is doing everything he can to come back And make no mistake about it he will. I love you Ryan!!! Still here always and forever!!!
Well, Ken, I know there are many intellectually marginalized and morally compromised souls out there who, as you pointed out, are so starving for any kind of notice that they will say or do anything to get it. The anonymity of the internet allows them the perfect platform to attract the attention they need to feel the tremendous void in their lives. It is at once disconcerting and pitiful to observe.
I’ve seen this kind of inappropriate juvenile banter in many different forums. The reaction of the rest of the posters is similar to ours here at Team Diviney — ignore the tripe that is posted, or, if the spirit moves you, give ’em heck back. Sometimes it’s just too hard to resist dishing some knowledge out to unknowledgable people.
The ability of internet posters to remain anonymous has been a boon to social psychologists. It has been quite a revelation to see the underbelly of society in all its pathological splendor. And the number of deeply disturbed souls writing deviant jibberish is a bit shocking. I’m grateful you have the ability to remove these posts — good riddance.
To the people who come here hoping to hurt, annoy, antagonize, irritate, upset or add nothing but garbage from your soul, give it up. You’d be far better served seeking out some top notch therapy to address your problems. Then again, I suppose you could just continue playing romper room wherever you go, and hope that it somehow takes the edge off all that you so deeply detest about yourself. Good luck.
WOW! So you’ve pulled the wool over our heads, eh? (Not just our eye’s) 🙂 I felt my blood boiling as I was reading it, but then thought “why is he (Ken) ‘protecting’ his readers”? I think you should let loose and let all those comments rip on your website so we can all take aim at them! And, your readership will just go up because everyone loves drama. More readers=more signatures and more support.
Seriously, there are bad people in the world and it’s a direct correlation to bad parenting, in my opinion.
p.s. The Irish in me says “its a good thing I don’t own a gun” ha!
Sandy Martin says
Dennis Allen says
I am totally speechless after reading this. I did not know that people like this exist in the world. I am retired from the Sheriff’s Office and I thought I had heard it all, but this is unbelieable, just think people that write that garbage and post it are walking the streets somewhere. You just have to hope and pray that they will get what they so rightly deserve and the sooner the better.
Wow, those comments made me feel sad. You have enlightened me. I did not really think people could say such hateful things. Reading that has made me determined to get my first support check in the mail this weekend. I think about you all and pray for you all a lot.
I am always amazed by your courage and love for Ryan. You are an inspiration to me as a parent – and you’re a great writer! Keep fighting!
Lisa Pamplin Day via Facebook says
Imagine a world without these types of people….
Katie I. says
Ugh. Just ate lunch and now want to hurl. It seems from what you’ve shared that you are dealing with incredibly uneducated people with no moral character. I would like to think that their parents would be mortified to read what their kids are posting (because I would hope that we don’t live in a world with such ignorant adults) but if Ryans story has taught me anything, it’s that there are some incredibly piss-poor worthless parents out there. In sure these ignoramus’ parents would probably attempt to find a way to justify their s ignorance and lack of a soul. Bottom line, Ken, is that I’m sorry that you have to be subject to the idiots. I don’t post every day although I do read all your posts and try to make it to every fundraiser I can. I hope you know that we are here for you.
Ken, I stumbled upon your blog some time ago and have been a daily visitor. Although we are complete strangers, my family has fallen in love with yours. We have have been silent supporters; spreading your story, writing letters to the Parol Board, signing petitions, pledging funds, and this is my first time to comment. However, after reading the comments that you shared with us from “them”, I am rendered speechless…
Wow Ken, I bow down to your restraint.
Much love to the Diviney’s from the Day’s
How utterly cruel. Pure evil. You’re right… such haters don’t deserve to even be acknowledged. Please don’t ever question how loved and admired your family is, especially Ryan. I’m so sorry you ever get ignorant comments that claim otherwise.
Julie Bragg says
I am so mad and in disbelief that anyone could say such terrible things. Is it wrong to be happy that there is a HELL after death for people like this? I’m in shock that your family has to endure such hateful words and actions. Shame on anyone who would ever make anything harder on your situation.
Evelyn Boxley says
You’re right Ken, this does not matter. I didn’t feel anything when I read this, but they should stay in school, intellectually vacant. And I do wonder, are their parents like this, or did they try and these people just turn out this way. But one thing that is so TRUE. NONE OF THEM WILL EVER BE LOVED AS MUCH AS YOUR FAMILY, by so many people. We always have your back!
Natalie Polzin says
I am so incredibly sorry. I am reading this while on my lunch hour. It makes me physically sick that there are people that would use those words ever. It is beyond my comprehension. It does continue to emphasize the fact that there was nothing Ryan could have done to protect himself once he came across people such as these. We know that Ryan is a man of strength and integrity and no one can take that away from him.
Tina Tyminski via Facebook says
Hard to believe such pathetic people exist…ugh. Disturbs me.
Carla Liberty says
My God. Post to follow after I settle down. LOVE YOU ALL
Traci Sullenberger via Facebook says
Oh my is all i can say… its sad that peope can hide behind a computer/ cell phone and say such horrid things.. where has the compassion gone in ths world?