2015. Can you flippin’ believe it? Instead of wishing everyone a happy year — because I certainly don’t — how about I wish that everyone gets what they deserve?
Ryan enters this year physically healthy. More than anyone could ever have expected, for that matter. He has worked damned hard over these past five years… and it shows. He’s strong and gains flexibility, millimeter-by-millimeter, with each passing month.
Quite frankly, he’s amazing.
Still, I worry that he’ll stop recovering. That one day he’ll just end improving; then begin going downhill. It’s scary for this reason… it’s entirely possible. Then what if he does begin emerging from his diminished level of consciousness? I doubt he’d even believe that it is now 2015!
Think about it. Imagine leaving your home today to grab a bite to eat when the lights go out… and then waking in 2020! Imagine learning that the monsters that did such harm to you are not in prison. Worse yet, being told one only served four years and the other just seven months.
Or waking to learn your grandfather has passed away. To see your dogs and wonder when their nuzzles turned grey. So much has changed in this world since Ryan was beaten into oblivion. Hell, the house he grew up in looks little like he’d remember it, given all the changes to provide for him.
To miss Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years six times.
To learn your driver’s license is revoked.
Being told you were withdrawn from a thriving college experience.
To hear that not only has your younger sister graduated from high school, but also from college… and by the way, she is now in the workforce.
To have your eyes stitched shut and cornea scarred.
To ask why there’s a tube in your stomach.
I wonder if Ryan, or anyone, could grasp this. How could any single person be okay with what happened? I’m not. I never will. Yet, those who harmed him so gravely (Austin Vantrease and Jonathan May, both from Newark, Delaware) seem just peachy-keen with it (I’d say the same of their families). They simply haven’t shown remorse even close to what I would expect. They turned their backs on Ryan in every way.
Sadly, time beats along. This year — like 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, and late-2009 — there will be no quitting. I will continue working toward his recovery. Toward accountability and justice.
Then, if Ryan does come back to us I’ll tell him other things he’d likely never understand. That he is so loved… by so many. That millions of people kept him relevant. That the time he spent away from us was not in vain. That he made an impact on this world in a positive way.
In a remarkable way!
Yes, Ryan, you brought out the compassion in people. They (and I) are better because of you. For me, I never knew I had so much love (and hate). My resilience — which people tell me they admire — is nothing compared to yours. I just wish it hadn’t caused you so much grief and pain.
It’s not fair for us to benefit from this, but we are eternally thankful for all you sacrificed.
So then, let’s make 2015 the most of it that we can. There are untold numbers of people who refuse failure… Team Diviney!
Don’t miss this touching (and insanely cute) Video in yesterday’s post! Kari gets a four-legged Christmas gift. Her joy brings her mom to tears.