by Kari Diviney (Ryan’s Sister)
The hardest part is when I see Ryan in my dreams and he is completely his old self.
This has been happening a lot lately.
I dream of him laughing his squinty-eyed laugh with me and talking about some crazy opinion he has on some random topic. He was always so passionate. That’s what I miss most. He always had something to say, and would always talk with his hands. He was so smart. He always amazed me and entertained me with the things he would talk about. And I, being the younger sister, would just laugh at him and say how ridiculous he was… when in reality I thought he was the coolest person ever.
Heart Wrenching Questions
How could it all be taken away from him?
Why did his attackers have to punch, kick, and beat him in the head? How can all that be gone now? How can twenty years of my brother, his brain… his thoughts… his dreams… his emotions… be gone? I just don’t understand. Where did my brother go? He should be here with me. I should’ve grown up with him… gone to college with him… stood at his wedding… and now he is gone.
Austin Vantrease and Jonathan May (both of Newark, Delaware) took away the best person I knew the night on November 7th, 2009.
I might never get him back. Never have my big brother ever again. Not there to grow old with and protect me, and make me laugh. We were just becoming close, too. I miss him so much, and what kills me the most was when he was here, I never showed him how much he truly meant to me.
It takes a lot to say this, but I am jealous of those who still have the chance you have to be close with your sibling. I’m jealous when you hug them they will hug back. Or just laugh at you. I want that so very badly. So if you have this chance, take it! It could mean everything to them I know it would mean everything to me.
So please, whoever is reading this, if you have a sibling please make sure to let them know how important they are to you…and please give them a hug … because you might just miss that chance.