“I suspect Bob Vantrease’s testicles are in [his wife’s] pocketbook.”
People still tell me how much they laughed about that since I wrote it in a post on May, 2011. You can read it here, if you want. I’m sure I didn’t come up with that on my own, granted, but no matter. The point is, it was my humorous way of combining two opinions in one tiny “package” (pun intended, for the euphemism-ly challenged) :
- Gale Vantrease (Austin’s mother) dominates the family… well, at least to me she does. She is the matriarch, for sure.
- Bob Vantrease (Austin’s father) is wimpy, submissive, and cowardly.
So, it got me thinking.
What if I put together some of the idiotic or insensitive statements I feel were made by the criminals and their families? Heck, I have plenty to choose from. There’s no shortage of material and it just keeps coming. So, I did just that. In a matter of minutes I had thought of at least a dozen and posted these on the website’s Home page. To see if people found it interesting I put up a link on Ryan’s Facebook Fan page.
They did, for sure. The response was better than expected! People enjoyed it… a lot. So, as far as I’m concerned, there is where it will stay.
But wait. There’s more!
What if we take this even further?
I’m thinking two ways here. First, there’s me (and my family). I’ve said some things that others consider funny, insightful, asinine, inspiring, or touching. I’m not sure if there necessarily what people would find earthshaking, but some are probably memorable enough. I hope. Well, at least I know I can pin-up Bob Vantrease’s testicles (yuck!), assuming Gale Vantrease will take them out of the pillbox in her purse.
Here’s an example of what I’m thinking. I’ll use my wife, Sue. She made a statement that was so powerful that people instantly connected and understood it… at the deepest level. It was so pure in desire and agony. I actually wrote about it the next morning, Her Turn to Cry, and people surrounded her with compassion and empathy. She said just one thing that said it all:
“I want the old Ryan back.”
As for you, the readers and commenters, there is no doubt you said some very memorable things! Yep, there should be a section dedicated to this. I read every comment you make… EVERY one. So many have made me laugh. And cry. And find strength. I’m not even sure where to begin, actually. Maybe you should decide by voting for the “comment/sentence of the week,” or something along those lines?
You should know that I try my best to deliver a website that you enjoy, both in content and quality. I keep it dynamic and always look for a way to improve upon it. I am not tentative about trying new things. This needs to be a place that you want to come back to, repeatedly, because it adds to your life. I want to touch your heart so deeply that you feel the rage, despair, hurt, devotion, and love that I feel. Sure, misery loves company… but so does hope.
Why, you might ask, am I so focused on you? Isn’t this all about Ryan, some might wonder? The answer is both, yes and no. It all comes back to Ryan because of you. Ryan is why you’re here and you keep Ryan relevant.
Each doesn’t allow the other to forget.
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Lyndr, If you are “bored” start a fund raiser for Ryan and get yourself busy! No one likes to be bored! that will give Ken something to write about, an “update”.
Yep, we are all still mad as hell! I agree that organizing fundraisers is good medicine for boredom, so hope you will get right on this.
Rhonda Morin~ I APPLAUD you for such a well spoken and powerful response….one that only a heart that has loved can feel and no greater love is felt than that of your child!!
I have no children of my own but I can unfortunately understand hatred all too well. Where there is hatred there is deep love, the two go hand in hand.
Zenda, obviously you don’t understand the enormity of the situation, but stick around, and if you have a lick of sense whatsoever, you soon might!
I think your hatred has gone too far with what you wrote above.
I have about 1/4 of a nerve left and the filter that allows me to not say things without thinking first is gone. So, I don’t know who you were referencing “zenda foy” but if it is anyone with the last name Diviney, then go away. They have every right to be angry. They have every right to hate those little pissers who took their child from them. They spend the time taking care of him, running this site, mourning the loss of their son, hoping for some flicker of something that proves to them he can hear them….. they have every right for every bit of hatred they feel EVERYDAY!
There was a girl that went missing in December of 2009, about a month after Ryan was attacked. No one could find her and her husband took their two young sons “camping” in sub-zero temperatures. Long story short, very suspicious, her body has never been found, after the kids started talking, the husband ended up blowing up a house he was pretending to live in when he got visitation rights with his sons. He used a hatchet to first try and kill his sons then if that didn’t work, which it didn’t, he blew up the house and killed himself and his sons.
I often said if Susan’s mother could have 15 minutes in a closed room with the murderer things would have been different. I knew if Susan’s father had been given 15 minutes he would have tried to get answers from the murderer. But her mom I firmly believe would have taken his manhood in her hands and ripped it right out of his body.
There is NO DOUBT in my mind that if Ken were given 15 minutes alone in a room with the 2 savages who did this to his boy that they would know the definition of hatred pretty damn quick.
Now if Mom Sue or Sister Kari had 15 minutes alone, I think Kari would try to find some small piece of remorse in the eyes of the savages and perhaps Mom would be the same but if Mom Sue were given a few minutes to think, I believe she would transform into that mother that NO ONE messes with and her 15 minutes would be short lived because she would not tolerate words or exchanges, her hatred would evaporate the savages. Dad Ken would drag it out so they felt the most amount of pain they could but not Sue, she has no time for that because she has to care for her child that they took from her and support her daughter and husband.
Zenda Foy, they have every right to hate everything about their lives for the last 4 years. They have every right to hate the parents that created the savages, they have every right to hate our judicial system for failing their child, they have every right for everything they feel and the hope to one day inflict an ounce of pain on the savages that took their child because they live it every single day.
So go away Zenda and allow this family to have and own their feelings.
Stepping off my soap box,
Rhonda
Agree with Zenda, also this forum has gone from updates on Ryan to attacks on the family. Boring!
I agree with Anna, do something for Ryan. I am still very impressed with Josh and what he did, he was amazing. Do something to make a difference.
Attacks on the family?????!!!!!!!! Wow!! Either you have no children or have not had any violence to your family hit close to home…do you not understand the emotions involved when dealing with such a horrific tragedy and the painful steps of reliving it while trying to seek justice while a family for the attacker only finds concern for their son!!! You are pathetic!!!!!!!
We need like buttons for posts. Go Lisa release your inner ROAR!
Any attack that Ken could ever launch against the Vantreases would never rival the attack that Austin and Jonathan perpetrated against Ryan.
apologize!!
Dang! Capital V in Vantrease. I apoligize! See this? Improvment already, but I need a lot of work, Y’all!
I sound like such a bitch, and I’m really not, but it is so disheartening to know that the vantreases will be paying attorney’s fees for the rest of their lives and have not paid a penny for their son’s debt! Why would they do this? How many of us have helped our children out, knowing that we will be repaid when they can? I get depressed and discouraged when I think about this, and then I tend to make nasty comments. Forgive me, Lord, and put a disciplined tongue in my head! And while you’re at it, Lord, a disciplined mind… …uh oh, I feel a poem comin’ on! Stay tuned. Hmmm, thinking of the benefits of a disciplined ear, too… …
Jo! LET IT GO AND LET IT OUT! If you are pissed be pissed, this is the place to do it. Every time I think about Ryan it pisses me the hell off what those pieces of shit did to him. I don’t know him, I don’t know his family and I only know about him because of a woman that my husband knew when he was first out of high school that he hung out with in Reston. I think they worked for Hechingers together or knew each other through Hechingers. I have never even met Mary.
I hear stories about others that have died from the same type of thing. A boy in California just died week before last after being stabbed at the end of a baseball game. A GAME! If you don’t get mad, yell and scream and get pissed and be a bitch NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE. Don’t apologize, get mad and then do something!
Stepping off my soapbox and going back to my boring Friday night. Hi Ryan, tell Dad new video soon please! How is Kari? How is school?
Oh, believe me, Rhonda, I rant a’plenty here — sometimes overthe-top! Infuriates me when people won’t take responsibility for evil acts perpetrated upon the innocent! Seems to happen a lot these days.
It is obvious Bob lost his balls a long time ago because had he manned up when he was raising his children .. he wouldn’t have raised such a callous, weak-minded, dangerous person. They did a hell of a job raising that sociopath and I hope they get back everything they deserve.
I like Paula’s idea too! After rereading the wiki article I didn’t realize Ryan had an injury to his brain stem. So off I went to research. Stem cells, looked at in-vivo stuff, looking for alternative therapies to heal it and make the nerves work, Germany, Ugoslavia (sp), Mexico…. But as Josh put us all to task with his amazing job, we need to do it and send it to the family to check out and make decisions as a family.
I posted this blog on Facebook but what I got out of this was a weird excitement from Ken’s perspective. I see this as a positive move. I did have a side ache when I read the “junk in the pocketbook” quote. One of my favorite stories that I have read is about Ryan’s hair getting cut in the spring (I am going to bump that one in a minute). The saga of the hot tub was a pretty damn funny read too.
You should really add Paula’s idea Ken. ;-P I will keep you on task. LOL
Love Paula’s idea! Love this idea also. Is Ryan making any progress or just staying the same? Hoping for improvement and for your continued strength to keep on keeping on.[All of you} Sending Love Hugs from me
Hi Ken, it comforts me to know you’re always working on new ideas about how to keep Ryan relevant and to encourage people to stay involved. We know how much Ryan depends on us – to care about him and to be there for him — and to be there for you and your family as well!! In the good times and the bad — this is a place where we can all connect and stay connected — and at the center of it all is a quiet, courageous young man who keeps on pushing the envelope every day to make strides in his recovery. If that isn’t inspiring I don’t know what is!! As the dark and dreary days of winter approach (well they’re dark and dreary to me anyway haha), maybe you could have separate sections where readers post things they’re interested in — such as new brain research and treatment, fundraising ideas they’ve heard about, info about grants, good doctors they know about, etc, I’m kind of making this up as I go – people could click on a section they’re interested and read what others have posted. Just a thought —
Wishing you and Ryan a happy, peaceful day in the glow of the autumn sunshine … sending you my love, prayers and renewed hope, which I thank God comes new every morning …Hugs, Paula
Still here ,always here with good thoughts and prayers ,NGA <3
I do not follow Facebook so much but this site I do follow just about daily. I noticed the quotes immediately and loved them! I will always remember Andy, Gale and Bob’s quotes about getting the “real truth out”.
What a bunch of crap. Do they really think that the truth and fact that Austin kicked Ryan in the head can be twisted into something other than Austin kicked Ryan in the head?
They can move to what ever state they choose (North Carolina) but the truth is the same in any state. A kick to the head is a kick to the head.
SHSP NGA!! ♥
Still keeping all of u in my thoughts and prayers. Ur family has touched so many lives in the determination, fight and faith you keep in Ryan. Just know we are all still in this, the prayers will not stop, for each of you!
They don’t get better than this one, Ken! seriously, some people need to Man Up!
Your thoughts on putting a focus on those who post here are in keeping with my message. I ask God to send His grace to you. He does so through the friends and neighbors who demonstrate their compassion and concern for you, Ryan, and your family. I know from personal experience that people can’t find the right words to express their own sadness, not to mention their strongest desire to give you comfort.
It would seem that the message is being received. Words are not necessary. I am keeping you all in my prayers.
<3