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You are here: Home / News / Critique, Please: Newsletter (Draft)

Critique, Please: Newsletter (Draft)

September 9, 2013 by Ryan's Rally LLC 10 Comments

NewsletterI’ve been working on a Ryan’s Rally Newsletter as another way to reach people. It will be in electronic form so that it will be delivered right into people’s email or they can see it on the website. Like everything with this website I try to make it intuitive and easy for readers to enjoy.

I’m at the point where it’s presentable enough to publicly show and ask for opinions. Remember, this is in draft form. Anyhow, this is what I’m calling the “Newcomer” edition. It’s for those people who are new to the website and is designed to carry out two goals:

  1. Provide general information, and
  2. Drive readers to the website.

I could sure use your help in making this better. Please put yourself in the position as somebody just discovering Ryan then tell me what you like, hate, and want (or not want) included in this specific newsletter.

To view the newsletter, just follow this link (it will open in another window in your browser). You can simply give feedback in the comments section of this post or send me an email (kdiviney@ryansrally.org).

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Filed Under: News Tagged With: Austin Vantrease, Jonathan May, newsletter, Ryan Diviney

Comments

  1. Old Piece New Again via Facebook says

    September 18, 2013 at 2:51 PM

    It looks great!!

    Reply
  2. Renie says

    September 11, 2013 at 4:35 PM

    Just one quick comment about the newsletter (and this website): wherever you use the Elie Wiesel quote, make sure it’s credited to him.

    Reply
  3. Sara says

    September 9, 2013 at 9:01 PM

    I love the idea of a newsletter. I think it would be interesting for you to take Ryan on an outing once a month. And then write about the adventure. I remember a while back you rented an office space. And that you enjoyed the two of you going to work every day. I have so much hope for people that suffer from brain injuries. I wonder if going to familiar places (and maybe a certain smell or noise that is associated with that place ) would cause any changes in his alertness. Also … It would bring more awareness to Ryans story. Just a thought … (Not sure how you feel about crowds and if Ryan has a weakened immune system).

    Reply
    • Rhonda Morin says

      September 9, 2013 at 10:12 PM

      Fabulous idea, field trip! Only if immune system can handle it. I loved how he reacted to Thanksgiving. Favorite cookie? I think mom needs to stay up all night talking to Ryan. I bet he misses it. Just sit talk and feel. He will talk to you through his heart.

      Reply
  4. Rhonda Morin says

    September 9, 2013 at 4:24 PM

    For an initial newsletter, perfect. Do you have any idea how you will set it up for following ones? I just could not read the story about the eve of his birth, nor his estimated “lifetime,” haven’t the testicles for it today without getting a gun and begatting hatred for hatred.

    For future newsletters I really like the info about how to help and Keep Ryan Relevant. I love the little icons and the links. After the initial newsletter perhaps just the icon, text/link of what the item is and a short description.

    After the initial newsletter: I would say for the top part of the newsletter maybe make it more like a page on the blog, a smaller logo, the words in italics, WOW use that all the time, then updates, what’s happening, etc. I really like how you broke each section up, very clear, very concise. I hate the criminals photos being there but I understand why you have them there. Maybe just photo, name, $$ towards their acts, time served or just photo, name, and $$. Because as you have news about that one who still in jail you will update everyone.

    For the initial newsletter I would keep the top part the way it is, About Ryan, Ryan’s birthday, then I would move Care Costs, Keeping Ryan Relevant, the criminal section, holiday card, then contact info.

    Always, always, always use that italics it’s amazing and speaks so loudly to me today. Hope I am not too critical. There are things like the Care Costs that I had no idea what amount the lawyers we attaching, oh and remember when you do get that money your insurance will want to be reimbursed a portion. They always get theirs.

    Fabulous! I may hire you to write my newsletters. 🙂

    Reply
    • Ryan's Rally LLC says

      September 9, 2013 at 4:42 PM

      Wonderful feedback, Rhonda! I suspect I’ll use most (and probably, all) of your suggestions.

      Reply
      • Rhonda Morin says

        September 9, 2013 at 7:16 PM

        Looks good, I was telling my mom about what you wrote and I went in to read it the old way and it was all changed. It looks good! Congrats Super Dad. Tell Ryan all about it, he will want to know too.

  5. Paula says

    September 9, 2013 at 1:43 PM

    Love it, Ken!! Looking forward to reading all your future newsletters!!!

    Reply
  6. Diane McNelis says

    September 9, 2013 at 12:29 PM

    Perfect. Breaks my heart every time I read his story. You are amazing…

    Reply
  7. Aletta Martin says

    September 9, 2013 at 10:19 AM

    I think it is excellent. Clear, well laid and out and informative.

    Reply

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