I received an email yesterday that I’d like to share with everyone. But first, there are some text messages leading up to it. These are only slightly edited to protect the sender’s information (or correct a typo). It also seems a good time to let everyone know that I make myself available for text messages and emails at any time. Please feel free to send me a message. Even just hearing a “Still here keeping Ryan relevant!” is uplifting and appreciated. Don’t forget to tell me who you are (if you want, that is), otherwise I will only know you as your phone number.
Okay, first the text messages:
3/25/13, 3 days ago
|
Inbox
|
||||
|
Then her email arrived. Here it is:
Good morning Ken,
This is [Name] from Cincinnati. I texted you the other day. Again, I want you to know how much this story has touched my heart. To see you all pull together, and totally change your lives is amazing! Like I mentioned, I see things of this nature on a daily basis. But never, do we see a family take over, and be as strong, and motivating as you all have!
I do remember hearing about Ryan on our local news. Again, my prayers are with you everyday. I started here in the Surgical and Trauma ICU at [the] Hospital in 2005. I was XX years old, and from a small community outside of the city. I was in a new world when I started here! I was totally ignorant to the hate some people manifest within themselves. Especially to do harm to others and walk around the community “playing God” if you will. (I’m referring to the gangs and violence)
On a warm day here, it is totally expected to get a shooting victim in the early morning hours. Usually a male between the age of 14-25. Then, by the afternoon, we will receive 2 or more shooting victims. 95% of the time, it’s a retaliation. I use to feel so sorry for everyone involved in this circle of madness in this city… but then I realized, its a way of life for most. At age 14 young males here have to deal drugs to survive and support their parents (if they even have living parents) and sometimes, their families, if they have had children already.
My idea that I want to share with you is simply…..only my idea (from my heart). I want you to know first and foremost, what Austin and Jonathan did is ABSOLUTELY inexcusable and totally heartless! Yes, they both deserve whatever God may seem fit for them! Legal punishment isn’t enough.
Unfortunately they both don’t have to see what they have done to someone everyday; of course through legal documents, news, and possibly pictures. But they both have never had to meet Ryan face-to-face, besides that initial night have they? I know that both boys deserve NO mercy from anyone! Especially Ryan! (Sorry if this all seems out of whack, I told you its hard to explain in words).
I feel Austin Vantrease and Jonathan May would suffer the consequences more…. if they had to meet you and Ryan (through a thick glass wall of course 🙂 for their sake!). If Austin and Jonathan had to actually face the consequences their actions caused on one’s life, and family…. I honestly believe in my heart, that this will be a justice Ryan deserves. Yes Austin should remain in prison and doesn’t deserve to roam free.
But a HUGE , HUGE part of me believes Ryan is here alive and with his family for a reason. You all have touched so many lives! I never bother people with things like this or randomly voice my opinion when its not asked for…. but something inside of me the other day when I read your daughters post made me feel like I had to share this with you. I’m not sure who on my face book shared her story, but I want you to know tears ran down my face.
I was not brought up in a religious family, but now at age XX I have been searching for this void I have in my life. Over the past years I have found myself silently praying for complete strangers… whether is be for their quick recovery from something, or for their families pain and suffering. So I guess what I am trying to say is that maybe you will find justice and some sort of peace in your heart if you made Austin and Jonathan physically see exactly what their actions did that night…face-to-face.
Please don’t curse me the moment you read this, because my intentions are totally for your broken hearts. Austin deserves to sit in that prison for his full and maximum sentence; no questions asked! It would be even more hell if he had to meet Ryan… and then go back to his prison cell and think about him day and night. I feel — well, I hope — the families’ reasoning for not coming to you directly is an act of #1… totally disbelief that their sons were capable of doing such an evil thing, #2 the fear of facing you guys and completely understanding the damages done, and finally, #3 they may not know how, and are to filled with hidden grief to come forward.
Again, this is my opinion based on my experiences with thousands of families that have been in here with their loved ones, and the consequences of the actions of the event. Whether it be their 16 year old who was severally intoxicated while driving with a car full of people, who totally walked away uninjured from a tragic crash that left 2 dead and two injured for life. Or a jealous, crazy husband who attempted to kill his wife in front of his kids, then proceeded to kill himself, but his wife survived. I have seen both sides of that family, and the hate they now have for each other because they just have no idea as to what caused this. All they know is one angry person is dead, and innocent lives are changed forever.
I think I will end my mini “book” here and hope that I have somewhat explained my opinion of a different kind of justice for Ryan. One that should break those 2 boys hearts and ideally let them also be trapped in a hell that is more aggressive and appropriate for them (real life images in their head), as well as the shit road they chose for themselves the night they hurt 2 innocent guys over some bullshit argument.
I see miracles happen all the time. Please know, there is no time limit on them! 3 days, 3 years, 5 years… no matter what the circumstances are, or what medical staff say about an injury. Our trauma staff, neuro staff, cardiac staff and oncology staff have seen miracles happen that no medical text, 20 years of experience, or God himself can explain. Love and patience heals. If you get anything out of my attempted rant here (lol)… please just know that nothing is impossible… no matter what!
Thank you for everything! For sharing your story, your day-to-day life, Ryan’s continued progress, and your feelings. I will continue to read the blogs and progress. Also, I will sign the petition.
Don’t lose hope! And don’t stop pushing Ryan everyday. I know he’s in there… the same Ryan he was before this, just in different circumstances for the time-being. He wouldn’t still be here today, if it weren’t for a promising reason.
Forever sending prayers your way,
[Signed]###
What I enjoy and appreciate about her words are the heartfelt emotions. I’m not necessarily saying I agree with how Austin Vantrease and Jonathan May would react to seeing Ryan, but I like hearing another’s take on it. It makes me think. It shows people empathize and Ryan touches them at a deep level. For me, it is important to know people appreciate my posts. That I made a connection between them and Ryan. That they take the time to write an email to me or comment below a post.
That Ryan remains relevant!
Real and raw… that’s how many describe my writing style. I love that characterization! I really do. Even when I’m crude, obnoxious, sad, angry, or hopeful you find a way to accept me. No matter my “mood of the day” I promise I am always honest and tell the exact truth… as I understand it, anyway. Otherwise, it’s just my opinion and I don’t mind sharing it one iota.
Nicole M. says
I feel you need to consider how YOU would feel about them seeing Ryan. What they would get out of it you can’t know; maybe they will finally show some hint of compassion or they won’t. When Vantrease is out of prison he can watch Ryan’s struggles on this website and perhaps May already has or they may still be as coward as the night they hit him when his back was turned. You cannot change the way they process what they have done. We all may not agree as to the “right” path but but we sure as hell can join together and fight for justice.
Also, I am fortunate enough to work for a doctor (Dentist) who thinks about the needs of ALL of his patients. Our chairs come completely apart to accommodate wheelchairs as though they are meant to fit into that space. Our office is not new, it simply has a doctor who believes all people should be treated equal. No person should feel they do not belong or the world was not made for them; whether they were born “different” or became that way by some other means. Its incredibly disheartening to hear Ryan’s doctors make you and him feel different and sometimes degraded. I commend you for all the work you do each and every day.
Kathy Knapp says
My thoughts and prayers go out to your family. The offenders will never see the light until their hearts are touched by God, only then will they realize the damage they did. God wants to set you all free from this terrible tragedy. I have had miracles in my own life of healing and have just recently encountered another through my adopted sisters healing of a large cancerous mass on her bladder, just dissappear after prayer. So there is great hope for Ryan. Praying for his healing and for your strength and continued support from others. I will be donating some money to help ease the financial burden. Keep the Faith and never give up on getting your Miracle. Love and hugs
Beth says
A friend posted your story on Facebook. My heart goes out to you and your family. One thing I kept thinking while reading your story is what a wonderful family you all are. You can see the love your family has for each other and it is a beautiful thing. I felt like I stumbled upon your story for a reason, and I want you to know that I will pray for your son. The power of prayer is amazing and God has a plan for your family. Sending my love from Chicago, IL.
Bryan Tiplady says
SHSP!
stephanie says
This lady’s idea is quite a logical one. They deserve to see what they have done, and they deserve to see the pain they have caused, and you deserve to see what kind of reaction they have in return. I am now keeping up with your blog on a regular basis and I must tell you that from the moment I saw your daughter’s post on Facebook….You and your family became some of my biggest role models. I admire you so much for how strong you are. It takes a lot of balls for a family to stand strong as you all have. I say go with this lady’s idea. Give em hell, and God bless you all.
Betty West says
Each morning on my way to work before I turn on the radio to hear the traffic situation or worse I just give thanks for what I have and ask for health, healing, employment or whatever it is that I know is needed by my circle of family and friends. The Diviney family is mentioned every day. When I see picutres of Ryan and read your blog about the justice being done I get so angry! Pretty hateful things are going through my head about those boys and family’s. The Cincinnati post made me feel better. I would think that the two cowards, bully’s that hurt Ryan should have had a TV in their jail cells with a live feed from Ryans room 24/7. They (and their parents) should have to see the before and after and life as it is today for Ryan. They should have to look at your medical bills and what it takes each day to help Ryan. Ken, I do believe that you have not only made real progress with Ryan but you are now showing others what to do and what is possible. Your hardworking family will continue to be in all of my wishes, prayers and pleas.
Ann H Tearle says
Ok, so in between tears….kudos to Cincinnati. To you also, Ken, for your love, courage and complete dedication to Ryan and his care. You are beyond incredible, and it is very humbling when i read your posts. It has to be so heartwarming (and gutwrenching), Ken, to be validated so very beautifully by this dear soul from Ohio. Remember the ‘Scared Straight’ shows on TV……..where at-risk kids went into the prisons, heard the prisoners stories in an effort to steer them away from behavior that would put them in prison? I think they have a program for drunk drivers–maybe one could be created for senseless crimes committed like Ryan’s, so they can see what they reaped in that moment of insane power. Regardless of the thugs response, it seems that it might be a good idea to expose them to what they created. Plant the seed so to speak…..something that may creep into their thoughts inspite of their denial even at what they see. I don’t know how you and Ryan would benefit from this…maybe a ‘hidden’ benefit to surprise you even if small? Or, things as usual? In any case, you will go on.
God bless you, Ken and Family–i sincerely do believe Ryan is here for a reason beyond what you may know. SHSP NGA Love to Team Diviney from Annie xoxo and, yes, Santa, there are, indeed, Easter Bunnies!
Tony says
Wonderful letter. I really enjoyed reading it and agree with several of the writers points. I appreciate the point she made that Ryan is here for a reason, and I also believe he will continue to improve. I continue my daily prayers for God to help him and your family. I hope your family is getting together during this Easter holiday as there is nothing better than having everyone together. God bless you and Ryan.
Elizabeth says
Hi! I read your blog but as others have said, I don’t always write a comment. Just saying hi to you and Ryan tonight, so you know i am here but don’t write as often as some do. Tell Sue and Kari I send my love to all of you.
Pam says
Ken and family,
Thanks for sharing. I try and follow Ryans progress as much as possible. I pray that with each post there is word of more healing and great progress. While reading the email that you shared, I have to say that I also believe that the criminals should have to see what they have done to Ryan and your family. Many may think that it wouldn’t effect them in the least, but I think different. I believe that any person with even the smallest heart, would have realize the pain and suffering that was created because of their negitive actions. I can’t help but to think that even if they didn’t show remorse that they would feel it deep down inside once they see Ryan.
Your family has touched so many people with the love and strenght that you share. I will be praying for you all and I will ask God to deliever the miracle that your family deserves.
Megan Gregory via Facebook says
I meant every word!!! Wish we were closer so I could help and give you guys a break!!!
Ria Fernandez via Facebook says
ryan matters, your fight matters. you are one brave and determined family. from the other side of this planet we send you strength and love <3
Clara Maggio via Facebook says
<3
Mary says
Wow! I’m so glad you shared that email. I’ve often thought about what would happen if the slugs saw what they did to Ryan! Would they feel remorse then? Then again, and more importantly, how would Ryan feel if he saw them again?! I don’t know the answer but I do think about these things and about your family a lot!!
Paula says
Hello Ken,
I, too, love this post. Through knowing you and your family, all of us have been reminded of one solid truth — that love never fails, it prevails.
One need look no further than this blog to know this.
Some people choose to walk a negative road in life and never make the turn that would take them to a far more fulfilling and uplifting direction.
I’m glad that three years ago I turned back to the page in the local paper with Ryan’s picture and realized I couldn’t just walk away. God was knocking on my door and sometimes when He does I pretend I don’t hear. This time it was more like a banging with the door knocker, as in you will regret it if you don’t open this door right now!
I go back to the comment a poster once made — those of us who have chosen to become a part of Ryan’s life, in whatever ways we can, get far more from him than we give. There is nothing like it — the love and the giving — it changes you forever and you never want to lose that feeling. Thanks for opening the door to your lives. I’m grateful to God that when I hit that fork in the road, He gave me the push and the courage to turn in the right direction.
Sending lots of love, hugs and fresh hope that comes new every morning
Paula
Wil Niermeyer says
Take Ryan with you at the next parole hearing!
Cheryl Shields Askew via Facebook says
Awesome, absolutely awesome!!!!! I feel the very same way, Ryan is here for a reason and miracles do happen, whether they take place in days months or years. Ryan has truly touched so many of us and we love him as our own… 🙂 Praise God!!!!!!
Carla Liberty says
Rhonda, God Bless you for sharing your story. God Bless your aunt for having the courage to leave your uncle and get away from the danger he imposed. And God Bless you, Cincinnati, and everyone else for weighing in about Ryan.
I have often told people (even Ken and Sue) that I believe Ken’s 24-hr live video feed should be piped into Vantrease’s jail cell on occasion. Vantrease should be made to watch not only how Ryan appears now, but what the Diviney family has to go through in a 24-hr period to care for their son. And in a separate side-by-side feed, he should see the Ryan we all knew BEFORE the attack. The one where Ryan was rounding the bases after hitting a homer over the left field fence. Or the line shot down the third base line for a triple. Or maybe when he was pitching a no-hitter. Or, maybe when he was riding on the back of a convertible as a member of Broad Run High School’s homecoming court. Or when he went putt-putting with his family on their beach vacations. To see the life Ryan lived, versus the life that Ryan and his family are now LIVING.
God Bless You, Diviney family. Still Here, Still Praying, and not going anywhere.
love,
carla
Jeannine Ott Ogden via Facebook says
I definitely agree – Austin Vantrease and Jonathan May along with their parents, siblings, significant others should see Ryan! And they should not be allowed to speak, making excuses or defending their actions – just silence and watching Ryan.
Rhonda Morin says
When I read what she wrote about letting them see Ryan, albeit through thick glass, I almost vomited. If I were on the other side of the glass and caused this, seeing him would haunt me every day for the rest of my life. But I am different in that I would never harm another human this way, I would never harm an animal this way either. I am feeling weak by her words because I agree. Let them see Ryan every day for the rest of their lives, break their legs so they can’t walk, whatever so they understand 1/10th of what he is going through. But they don’t care, they won’t remember, they will not be affected by Ryan.
My uncle used to beat the shit out of his wife, literally he beat her so badly that she could not move for days. Everyone knew, but no one did anything. Finally she somehow rounded up enough money that she left his sorry ass. She remarried, got her life together and grew stronger as a woman. He was not part of our lives for years, I couldn’t stand to look at him. Then something changed and he became a human again. Being alone for so many years is perhaps why or finally being with a woman who scared him more than he scared himself might have been what did it but he came around and seemed like a decent person. I don’t know that he ever apologized for what he did to her and his children but he seemed different. Something snapped a few years ago and the rage began again. Now he has extreme memory loss and doesn’t know who he is most days. How is that fair? He caused so much pain to his boys and his wife and he can’t remember.
But as Cincinnati said, perhaps it is left to God to deal out the judgement in his next life. As much as I think seeing Ryan in the flesh would crush me to my core I don’t think it would do anything to someone who didn’t care to begin with.
Aimee Centofanti-Smith via Facebook says
^ I agree completely ^
John Maletta says
I’m not confident that May and Vantrease would be emotionally impacted by a face-to-face “meeting” with Ryan, but her thoughts and emotions are beautifully articulated and clearly share the view of so many of us. The world of Vantrease and May is rooted in denial, self-centeredness and hate. Sadly, I’m not confident that if they met Ryan that if would have the impact that we all desire for Ryan and your family.
Our new friend from Cincinnati is very, very correct about one thing. Love and patience do heal all. We love you guys. You’ve been thrust into a very ugly, life-altering situation and yet you choose to make some good from this chaos and inspire others. That in itself is a gift from God.
Sam Davis says
I always read but don’t have time to comment. I just wanna say that ur family is lucky to have u. If I ever got as sick as Ryan I don’t think I would b taken care of as much/good as u do Ryan. God Bless. U r the man. Ur work with Ryan is inspiring. Don’t ever stop with the creeps that did this.
Anna says
How great that Ryan’s story is traveling the world person by person day by day.
Gail Doyle says
Ken, Ryan will ALWAYS be relevant and what a truly lovely post from Cinn.
Like she said ,there’s no time limit for healing and we know Ryan is getting there
Sending good thoughts to you all
love gail
Gloria says
Ken, you and your family have touched so many people. We’re all hoping & praying that there will be more recovery and miracles for Ryan. I love looking at the pics of Kari & Ryan. So happy & loving towards each other. You have two wonderful children.
kyle says
Thank you Cincinnati, and thank you Ken. You are keeping Ryan relevant more than you could know, but you are doing so much more. God Bless
karyn cummings says
What a nice post, happy Easter to your entire family !
Aimee says
Wow….such touching words from someone who has seen it all. My heart breaks for you, your family and Ryan. In my heart I truly believe that everyone wants to be loved and love back, however when I read a story such as what has happened to Ryan all I can think is why? Why would god let such a thing happen? I do understand that God has a much higher purpose and I do believe that there are questions that will never be answered until I meet my maker. I thank the above person for giving me something to truly reflect on and to you for sharing this touching email. I wanted to support and help you in your grief however somehow you make me feel better…with your thoughts, your words, the love for Ryan and how you touch me with your blog. I know I am just rambling at this time, but I really want you to know I pray for Ryan and I do agree he is with you, he is there and he is fighting.
Evelyn Boxley says
SORRY ANYDAY, not anyway
Evelyn Boxley says
I love this, I have to agree with her. I love that she is not religious and has prayed for so many that she doesn’t know. I probably see that in myself. I love that she affirms that it doesn’t matter how long, Ryan is still in there and can come out of this anyway. and best of all I LOVE that she believes that MIRACLES happen everyday! Thank you CINCINNATI
Lois Allen says
I think this is a great idea….give them that bit of humanity they lack…I have always thought this is a great idea for animal cruelty so perpetrators can gain some kind of empathy and see the consequences of their actions…Thank you for keeping us all informed <3 Your family is amazing
Jo says
Obviously, this person has seen it all! What a wonderful thing to share these innermost feelings! Thank you, whomever you are. I am not sure about the suggestion of the perps seeing Ryan, but you’re the Boss! I will agree with your decision, because you are in the best position to make a judgement call like this. I wonder if any good would come from it anyway, considering there is no outward sign whatsoever that they (or their families) have any remorse for their evil deed.
I posted yesterday, but do not where it went — must have forgotten to “send.” Anyway, yesterday’s post and comments were heart-warming, to say the least. I loved Kari’s photo when she came home for Spring Break. Ryan looked great, and (of course) so did Kari. 🙂
Let’s forget our weight watching for a day. Have a chick and a chocolate bunny and enjoy Easter with your family. Loving thoughts and prayers for Ryan’s continued recovery.
Rita says
Ryan’s story is touching hearts all over! Thank you for sharing from Cincinnati.. We agree that God has a much higher purpose here and great plans yet for Ryan and your family <3
Lisa Tilley Svendsen via Facebook says
Love that this person wrote you. Loved what she said. Hugs and prayers, today as always!