I can’t remember the last time I was sick. I mean really sick. Certainly before Ryan was attacked by Austin Vantrease and Jonathan May in November 2009. Probably even a few years before that even. I’m basically a healthy person. That’s not to say I didn’t have days where I fought through migraines, exhaustion, or soreness.
Those days happen more often than not, actually.
Ryan wears a mask to keep him from getting my illness.
I’m guessing I picked something up while in West Virginia last weekend. I hugged so many people and spent an evening at a seedy bar and grill. Besides that, the incubation period is right. There’s no telling where I picked it up. You see what happens when I’m let loose in public?
It’s not the flu, thank goodness for that, but it’s kicking my ass. An overall feeling of being unwell, respiratory ailments, stinging eyes, zero energy, and a loss of appetite.
I hate that I feel this way. It interferes with me working with Ryan. I’m constantly scared that I’ll give it to him. I’m doing everything I can to not let this happen. I am a handing-cleaning machine (even more than usual) and keep a breathing mask on at all times. Poor Ryan, I have him wearing a breathing mask too… to protect him from me. I’m going through Lysol disinfectant and sterile wipes at a blazing rate. You might laugh at this, bit I actually spray my entire body, from head-to-toe, with Lysol every hour before I put a mist on every surface. No door knob or light switch is missed!
Hey, I know I’ll be over this illness in a few days and that’s a good thing. The thing is, it has really made me worry about Ryan when I might no longer be able to care for him. It scares me to death. Let’s face it, I’m not as young and fit any more. Sue is too tiny to do all the things I do with him. It’s a delicate balance of manhandling him with care and protection. What is my fallback plan? I don’t have one… yet.
That needs to change.
I’m not bragging here when I tell you that it dawned on me that I am the linchpin. The keystone that holds everything up; lawsuits, therapies, medications, treatments, website, donations, wish list, and so many more that it silly to list them all. Would Ryan stay relevant without me? I’m too afraid to think about that now.
I’m scared.
All I can say is God bless u and prayers being sent
Praise the lord, praise his holy name. My name is Johnson Woods from UK, I am here to return all the glory to GOD that healed me from a disease called acute myelogenous leukemia, in which I suffered for three straight years. After severe medication it was as though there no hope, until one day I was listening to Prophet TB Joshua from the synagogue church of all nation[scoan] and then I was introduced to Prophet TB Joshua anointed water that can cure all diseases, immediately I saw the email in which I can request for the anointed water I wrote to them and the anointed water was sent through a ups courier service nearest to me. Immediately I took a drop of the anointed water I was healed the acute myelogenous leukemia was gone forever, praise the lord. My brethren if you are facing any difficulties either in health or otherwise, I will advice you to request for Prophet TB Joshua anointed water through this email; Anointedwaterscoan@hotmail.com. Please rejoice with me.
Hope you are better ASAP. xoxo
Come on Ken, a seedy bar in Morgantown? That’s not possible is it? Where would it be?
It sounds like you had the flu. I was the same way a few months ago and it went in pneumonia. I would suggest that you stop spraying yourself with Lysol. All that overspraying so frequently is not good to breath in.
You are right in saying that the level in Ryan’s care would never be the same if he was institutionalized but the flu is not going to cause that.
I would think that since you are not around germs so often that you are welcome to them once the little buggers see you in arms reach.
Ditto what Karen T said <3
Covering you both in prayer <3
Ken, Praying you feel better real soon and like Jo said ,hope you can get to Drs
and extra prayers that Ryan stays well ..You’re taking every precaution possible
Can only image the fear and feeling so scared ..We are all here for you,never forget
that. Thoughts and blessings your way FEEL BETTER!!!!
love Gail
Oh, s—, so sorry to hear that you picked something up. Hoping that Ryan doesn’t get it and that you get better soon. (I know I don’t have to tell you, keep those hands clean) Please tell Ryan Happy Valentine’s day!
Oh, but, Ken, sometime the seedy bars are the best kind and the most fun! LOL Just an observation. 😉 You probably didn’t pick it up there. The germs and viruses seem to be floating around everywhere right now. I, too, hope that Ryan doesn’t contract it, but his physician can check it out with a blood test — see what you have, too. It might help if you know if it this current flu, or what.
Hoping you feel better as the day goes on. Really, I hope you make, not buy, a Valentine for Sue. I just looked on the back of ours — sure enough, Made in China! Aarrgg! 🙁 Love and prayers for a Good Valentine’s Day to you and yours. <3
One day at a time, Ken. Sometimes looking too far forward causes fear and stress. I deal with a similar struggle constantly with regard to my Mom. Granted, I will likely outlive her, but I find myself needing to make decisions to keep her in a safe environment while simultaneously hoping that she will not outlive the assets available for this care. I find that I just have to do what is right for now while knowing that there are a host of unknowns that are beyond my control. I have to put those unknowns in a box and set it aside to get through many days. Of course, we do some reasonable financial and legal planning to facilitate the path, recognizing that I need to let the path unfold in accordance with God’s plan. In the meantime, I hope and pray for the best. I know that you have set aside your faith, but know that Team Diviney is praying for you as you navigate these paths, fears, and worries. Dear God, thank you for surrounding the Divineys with the love and support of Team Diviney. I pray that Ken gets well quickly and that You bring him comfort today to reduce his fears, provide encouragement, and reassure him that Your plan for Ryan has kept Ryan relevant thus far. Thank you for using Ken as Your instrument currently while laying the foundation to maintain Ryan’s relevance for the whole of his life. Love and prayers, and Happy Valentine’s Day. Karen
Amen Karen! God Bless You! Praying for you, and of course praying for Ken & family. <3 carla
Praying for a speedy recovery for you.
Philippians 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Hello Ken, I’m very sorry you are feeling so bad — and, that in addition to being sick, you are so terribly worried about the possibility of Ryan getting sick too, not to mention what would happen if you couldn’t take care of him. This is a heavy weight upon you. I am praying for you to feel better very soon, and for Ryan not to catch whatever bug it is. I’m thankful it’s not the flu!!
Please take care care of yourself today (and every day!). You need to let us know if there is something you need!!
If I know nothing else about you, I know you are a planner and a consummate problem solver. Yes, you are the lynchpin in Ryan’s care and recovery — to look at Ryan is to see the clear evidence of all that you have done to help him get better. When your energy returns, you’ll be able to marshall your thoughts and create a specific “emergency” plan for Ryan’s care — what it would look like and how it would be done. You have been doing the work of at least a dozen people for over three years, so you need to take that into account when planning! Luckily you are an excellent writer, so you will be able to create a concise book of instructions, advice and resources for Ryan’s care. I am praying you won’t ever need to use it!
My heart is with you, Ken — I can feel the worry and anxiety in your post. Just remember there are many people who love and care about your family. You are not alone in this, even though I know it must often feel that way. I’ve got you, Ryan and your family on my mind and in my heart today, praying for health, healing and wisdom. Hugs to you and Ryan, love and peace.
Paula
Prayers for a speedy recovery.
Happy Valentines Day to you all! So sorry to hear you are not feeling well. Hope you get well soon and Ryan stays well also!
Oh no! I’m sorry. I too worry about who will do what I do if I’m ever too sick to do it. My husband won’t even touch our daughter’s G tube yet let alone give her meds or a feeding. Let alone all the other stuff I do every day all the medical stuff the therapy. Hopefully you have a speedy recovery.