A home on the street we are visiting tonight.
Tonight will be our first family outing in over thirty-seven months. Again, we can not thank Koons Automotive enough for donating the mobility van that makes this all possible! Sometime after the sun goes down (not exactly sure of the time since it depends on when our friend can get here to watch the house) we’ll all pile in the van and head to the next town over to take in the light display of one particular street that is known nationwide for its decorating. We haven’t been there in the years since Ryan’s brutal beating. The excitement of bringing back this simple Christmas tradition is overwhelming. In some ways, it almost doesn’t feel real. It’s another reminder to never take the simple joys in life for granted. Tonight we will take it all in and enjoy the feeling of “normal” for a time, no matter how brief. No matter the circumstance we find ourselves in, through no fault of our own. No matter what the future holds.
Still, we have tonight.
Sure, it won’t be the same. Ryan and Kari won’t argue, in that friendly sibling sort-of-way, over the best decorated house. Hot chocolate will not be poured for Ryan. There will be no discussion of what we want for Christmas. We’ll have to relive our memories very carefully, else joy turns to sadness. Sometimes you don’t even know it happened until you’re in the moment. It sneaks up on you and pounces without fair warning, like a lioness on the prowl. Before you know it, you’re cursing yourself for letting down the defenses as you try to put back everything that was just ripped out of you.
It’s so difficult to believe — and accept — that 2013 is just around the corner. What would it feel like to fall asleep in 2009 and one day awake to the knowledge of missing so much? 2013! Are you fuddruckin’ kidding me? What in the hell happened?
Not tonight though. By damn, not tonight! Tonight will be about the here-and-now, circumstances be cursed! We will live in the moment and be thankful for all we have and all that has been provided for us. That we are not facing this alone. Yes, tragedy defines our family, but we will continue to transcend its ugliness as long as you lift us above it all and we can hold on. Without you, I am certain we would have gone down with the wreckage. Tragedy has given us purpose. You made us better. Stronger. Smarter.
That, my friends, is why “purpose” is such a bastard. Irony is it’s bitch.
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How did the Christmas lights drive go, or did you have to reschedule because of the rain? We’ve got some impressive houses right here in our neighborhood too — enjoy at your “leisure” 🙂
Have a good time tonight taking your family out somewhere together. Enjoy the moment, I’m sure it’s the first of many more. I can’t help noticing in one of the videos, Ryan turned his head in response to Sue talking to him. He will enjoy the sights and sounds of family tonight. Have fun!
Hello Ken, I was just thinking about your post, and realizing you have so many purposes that I had to stop counting — it became clear to me that there are many you are engaged in right now, and many others that will beckon you in the coming months and years. Husband, father, son, brother, neighbor, friend are only the start — you are also a healer, innovator, inventor, philosopher, author, spokesperson, advocate, trail blazer — leader (i.e. polymath)… there will be much more to add as your purposes continue to expand with every new bit of knowledge you gain and experience you have. I am looking forward to seeing how you integrate many of these things along with the significant contributions that will result.
But back to the present moment … Christmas carols, sparking lights, memories echoing through the night; yesterdays drawing near, filled with joy of yesteryear; driving past the magic glow; remembering the long ago; holding close what is here, everything that you hold dear; turning around to feel once more, happiness from days of yore; stopping, smiling at the thrill, of all the love that’s with you still; cherishing with all your might; tomorrow’s memories made tonight…
Still here feeling that we all share in the gift from Koons, which brings me to this in case you missed it on Ryan’s page yesterday. Koons address as follows:
Koons Tysons Toyota
8610 Leesburg Pike
Vienna, VA 22182
It only takes a moment to address a greeting card with a simple “Thank You” written inside. I hope they will be overwhelmed with appreciation from all of us.
Have a great ride and enjoy the lights this evening. Love, prayers and best wishes for the happiest Christmas Season ever, Diviney family.
YES! There truly is a Santa!
Koons Automotive…THANK YOU for the ‘simple things’ you’re allowing the Diviney family to take part in again!
So happy for the Christmas gift! It’s wonderful that you could go out as a FAMILY. I think we’re goona do the Sterling lights this weekend. Merry Christmas!
Such a simple joy that the rest of us take for granted. I hope you receive extra joy in this event. Koons should receive all of the accolades we can give them for allowing your family a chance to once again have some positive memories and the incredible gift of being able to go out on an outing AS A FAMILY.
Wow. Such raw feelings. I have experienced all of these, but I have never spoken the words. You are awesome. I am envious. Our family went to the globetrotters in jan 2011- this was our first family outing in years without a caregiver tagging along. Things that everyone takes for granted are soooooooo very special, even if they are not quite the way they should be. Have fun.
Yes, with great caution, but this gift from Koons makes us smile and can’t stop. 🙂
Can you believe it? A long time coming. Thank you again KOONS Automotive for making possible for the Diviney family a simple pleasure such as looking at the neighborhood Christmas lights.
Crank up the radio with some Country Christmas music and drive on Ken! Have fun Diviney’s.
Yeah for you all! One moment at a time.
Ken ,So happy you could all go together for your Christmas ride . Little as it seems maybe to others ,it is such a wonderful ,big happening for your family.. Enjoy!!! And hope many more outings to come
love Gail