I’m tired.
Ryan had a calm and restful night, but it brought me little sleep. Thank goodness I did something I don’t often do; fall asleep before midnight. We recorded the Presidential debate (because Ryan loved watching these) and were at least an hour behind the live broadcast. I became frustrated, because both candidates could easily have been talking about issues in the late-1970s and early-1980s (e.g., Iran, alternative/independent energy, budget deficit, etc.). I went out and plopped on the couch, happy enough flipping between Modern Marvels and another show called The Planets.
My sleep is always restless. I rarely go more than an hour or two without waking. Such was the case last night. Just before one o’clock I went in to check on Ryan. I was expecting that Sue would be sleeping in the bed next to his, but she wasn’t. She was laying beside him in his bed. His head was resting against her cheek. She had her arm completely around his chest and under his neck. This is something she does almost every night for an hour or two, but moves to her bed before we quiet the house.
Okay, I thought, maybe she fell asleep with him?
I quickly realized this was not so when she popped-up her head to look at me. She was wide-awake, with her big brown eyes as bright as ever (it were her eyes that I noticed first about her when we met… believe it or not). My first thought was that Ryan was having a rough night, but he appeared comfortable and his vitals were perfect. I was confused for just a second longer before I realized we were without our beloved nurse. She is so wonderful in her care of Ryan and I was immediately concerned for her. She can always be counted on to act in his best interest. Anyhow, it turns out, she got very ill… very fast. She didn’t want Ryan exposed and left immediately. In my earlier half-asleep/half-awake haze I remember the outside door opening, but I just thought it was Sue taking the woofers out to the bathroom.
Sue told ordered me to go lay back down. I could tell it would be best not to challenge her and immediately obeyed.
I’m telling you, I tried to get back to sleep. I really did. I might even have nodded off. It was not to be because I felt guilty leaving it all up to Sue. Finally I gave in and got up. Sue scolded me the very instant my big toe crossed the threshold into Ryan’s room, “What are you doing up? I got this.”
It was now my turn not to be messed with. I was worried about her being tired the entire next day (today) at work. I don’t want her getting sick. She’s exhausted as it is, coming off a nasty sinus and ear infection. I was prepared to stand my ground, if needed.
“I’m up. I’d be getting up for good in an hour or two anyhow. Take Duke and go upstairs to bed. It’ll just make me tired looking at you warm and asleep down here.” BAM! For effect, I gave the “one-eyed glare”. You know the one, where the head is slightly cocked with one eyelid furrowed while the other is up? For us older folk, think about What you talkin’ ’bout, Willis?
The key was not let her know I was doing it for her. Otherwise she would have resisted. Good or bad, we each are willing to take the hit for the other and I know this. So in a huge gamble, I made it out that she would throw me off my game by being downstairs. It worked enough to get her upstairs, but I might have some apologizing to do when she gets home from work tonight. What worries me is she left quietly… a little too quietly.
Ah, that’s married-life of men… apologize even when we’re right.
You always admired her “eyes”. I remember you telling me that…. (I just did a bad job of covering for you, didn’t I?)
Wishing a speedy recovery for your beloved nurse! They are hard to find. You and Sue are a love story that is so beautiful to continue to see unfold. Those of us who spend time with you can see the bond, so tight no one can break it. Probably the reason Kari and Ryan turned out so well! Love to all of you~
Hoping your nurse is feeling better and that all is peaceful tonight. I love Paula’s idea…..let’s try to get something together folks. Put on your thinking caps….
Sending smiles and hugs from across town~
Hope the nurse is better and gets back to support you very soon. Youi and Sue both do excellent jobs!
Wow, the tears filled my eyes as I picture our Sue in bed with our Ryan. As a Mother myself, I know that love. It is Beautiful, and pricleless. Sue, love ya beautiful.
Then I read on:
(I realized we were without our beloved nurse. She is so wonderful in her care of Ryan and I was immediately concerned for her. She can always be counted on to act in his best interest.)
My heart dropped until I read that she was sick and had to leave. I know what a awesome nurse and beloved nurse she is to you all, and I was afraid she had moved on for some reason. So glad she will get better and be right back to Ryan’s side.
Hope you get better sleep tonight Ken.
Sending xoxoxoxo to Ryan, tell Sue to please give him xoxox from one Momma to another.
women need to do this too. letting a disagreement or anger get in the way of marital joy is pointless. just not worth it.
Ken, Hoping your nurse feels better and you and Sue can get some rest tonight. So glad Ryan had a peaceful night.
Do men ever REALLY “apologize” 🙂 You guys are great !!!!!!
love Gail
Ken, you have a way with words. The way you describe things, it’s almost like we’re right there, watching this scene unfold. But what’s really striking is the love and devotion you and Sue share. In an often cold and unfeeling world, the stories of sacrifice you share with us offer warmth and hope.
If you had a nickel for everytime someone said, “I don’t know how you do it,” you would have had a new van for Ryan long ago.
Speaking of which, Team Diviney, let’s put our creative forces together to raise the funds to get Ryan a more comfortable van. He deserves it, and so does his family. Consider designating your next fundraising event as being for Ryan’s new van. A van would give the Diviney’s a chance to change their routine, get out of the house and be together enjoying a ride. Thanks to everyone!!
Love & hope, prayers through the day and night, and still believing
Paula
I fall in love with the Diviney family a little more each day.
Thinking of you. It never gets easy.
Love this story 🙂
Lorraine, maybe I should retitle it to “Even when We THINK we’re Right”
I once received wise advice that a good marriage takes two compatible people; one who makes the decisions and is always right….and a husband!
Are men ever right? I was confused by the title! Ha
I hope that your nurse-angel feels better and makes a speedy recovery! Hoping also that you can take a little rest with Ryan this afternoon and that both you and Sue can get some decent sleep tonight. What an amazing team of caregivers Ryan has in the 3 of you.
you and sue are angels to ryan
As a wife of 18 years I know it takes a lot for a real man to apologize even when your right 🙂 I have been following your post since you started and I wanted to let you know how much your family is so inspirering. I hope one day soon Ryan will get to read and see all that your family has done for him. You will all be in our prayers