We’ve been up for hours. It was necessary to get Ryan ready for his baclofen pump removal surgery this morning. Sure, we did as much as we could yesterday night, but many things must happen at the very last second. For example, there’s no way to give him his scheduled medications before they’re due.
Right now it’s 4:30 am and we’re taking the all to familiar ambulance ride to the hospital. It’ll be a bumpy ride, I’m told, because they can’t get the chassis to elevate. So far, it’s like going through a flight with endless turbulence. My apologies in advance for typos.
I hate this. I hate almost everything that’s about to happen today. I hate this ride. I hate the inevitable gawkers at the hospital. I hate the piles of paperwork we’ll sign. I hate the smell and sounds of the hospital. He’ll, I even hate the cafeteria food and coffee that is burnt in the pot.
Yes, I hate all this, but it’s what’s best for my son. To think, in several hours that son-of-a-bitch baclofen pump will be out!
Oh, I’m going to ask if I can keep it. After all, we did pay for it.
Then I’m taking it to someone’s private property (because a firing range won’t allow it) and unloading a full clip of 9mm rounds into it. Which reminds me, is there anyone in Northern Virginia that can accommodate me in this plan? I’m telling you, this will be therapy for me. I might take some other targets, say images of despicable people, and shot until my wrists ache.
Then I just might start kicking the shreds of paper that remain.
Hell yeah, therapy!
I’ll keep you updated as the day unfolds. Please check back. Your comments mean so much, especially on days like this.
The prayer vigil is on! God is with you and we are with you in spirit.
I was praying for Ryan when I heard your post come in on my cell phone. Ryan was the last person I thought of last night and the first this morning. Praying for all to go well.
Ken, I wuld have that Baclofen pump gold-pleated and encased in a glass box! Just think of the seizures it saved Ryan from! However, I feel your anger and I feel it, too. I try to put myself in your place, but it is impossible, I can only pray for the anger to subside. I think it helps sometimes to “kick the tree,” but don’t break your foot in doing so. Seriously, anger needs an outlet. I don’t know if reacting with violence helps, but it might. Who am I to say? !! How about just shooting at some clay pidgeons? I think that is a healthy outlet. And I’m still thinking you need some fly fishing in your future. No, I’m not going to start telling you about your need for God, but others will and this is good. I know you already know about Jesus — there I go… …
Make sure to spray those get-well cards, letters and donations with –what? Lysol, I suppose. We know you will read every single one of them to Ryan. Thank you.
Love and prayers, most especially today. You are on our minds! 🙂
“wuld” — who needs that “o” anyway!
Right there for every update Ken. Thoughts with you today.
Thoughts and prayers always Ken,Sue and Ryan <3 gail
Keeping you all in our prayers today.
Thinking of you both today and praying! I also think you should get to keep it as well!!
I hope all goes as planned for Ryan today, Ken.
Will be thinking of you and Sue. Still here.
Visit everyday! Know there are many out there that make this part of their routine..visit Ryans site. Thank you Ken for (always) sharing your thoughts/fears with us. It helps to remind us of the struggles/pain that was forced upon your family(everyday). I hope you feel the positive energy (prayers if you wish to call it that) that comes your way daily. And oh how I wish I knew a place you could go to unload on the pump. Remember, you are not alone.
Great idea! Don’t live in NOVA, but close enough. We have hunters all the time here. My husband even has deer stands up you can use. We can even burn the debris and trash when you are done kicking it around on a tree stump and have a few beers. Otherwise we have family in Western MD in Friendsville on the way to Morgantown with a large farm(hundreds of acres). They hunt, they know your story and I am sure would love to help with anything you need.
Good Luck Ryan….I read your posts everyday! You’re in our prayers!
Ken, we go to hell and back for our children. You do it every day for Ryan, because, that’s who you are — and, every day, you have Ryan’s back no matter what the personal sacrifice or toll it takes. It’s what you do, it sets you apart, and you suffer and struggle but you keep doing it.
You keep leading the charge, we’ll follow. We can’t get up front to where you are, but we’ll be right behind you whenever possible.
It stinks, it’s all so unfair — but you’ll keep pushing through the pain because Ryan is worth every ache, sorrow, worry and fear. You’ll fend off and tamp down all the suffering in order to keep lifting him up.
Feeling the pain and wishing your suffering could be eased. All we have to give is our love, caring and devotion to your family. And staying the course.
Still here, still praying….NGA.
Love, many hugs, abiding prayers
Paula
I want video of the firing range please. Love you. still here. Always.