I hate today and what it brings. It will be both long and sad. Today Ryan’s deep brown eyes will be mostly stitched shut. I hate this. We just loaded Ryan into the ambulance for transport to Fair Oaks Hospital for his eye surgery. It is seven o’clock in the morning. Sue is riding in the back with Ryan and I am up front with the driver. I’m in no mood to talk. There’s really nothing positive I could say anyhow.
I remember how exciting it was in July 2010 when Ryan began to open his eyes. At first, just a slit. By the end of August, less than a month later, they were wide open. We embraced this change since it would allow him to get visual input… If he could.
Like now, we didn’t know how he saw the world (if at all), but the opportunity was there. Then the reality of having his eyes never closing set in. He was now prone to eye infection. The dryness from exposure was putting his corneas at serious risk. We began around the clock care with lubricants, moisturizers, washes, steroids, antibiotics, and goggles. For two years, without fail, Ryan’s eyes received care every hour of the day. That’s over 17,500 times! Our dedication only delayed the inevitable of what is today. The risk of losing not only his chance at sight, but his eye(s), could not be ignored. We did the best we could for him and admitting we could do no more hurts.
Today we mostly close his eyes, but the hourly care will go on. It’s not that today’s operation eliminates the hourly treatments. It’s just an additional way to help.
It’s 7:35 AM. We arrived at the hospital. It’s time to take Ryan in, as people stare — sometimes stopping in their tracks — just to get a good look. It never gets easier to see others do this. It felt like we walked through every waiting room in the hospital.
True to form, people took notice. One couple actually stood up and walked closer for a better look. After a minute or two they noticed that I was staring at them, the same as they were at Ryan. They dropped their eyes and left.
It’s 8:00 AM. Ryan is in pre-op getting prepped for surgery. I’ll post updates (Facebook might be best for a quick one) as the day unfolds.
Pour thanks to the people who are watching our home while we’re out, allowing me to post in real time.
Lorraine says
My thoughts are with you. This must be incredibly difficult.
Will N says
“It’s just an additional way to help”—-remember those words, that is what you just said.
This will help Ryan heal and will be good for him.
My prayers are with each of you today.
Donna says
Prayers for continued strength and healing…
Cheryl O. says
Ken, thinking of you all today. I hope the procedure all goes smoothly and without complication.
Love from all the Os.
Essence says
I read your website all the time- you are such a strong person, as is the rest of your family. God bless you all.
Pam Gandee says
Praying for only the best outcome for Ryan and your entire family that loves him deeply.
Keri Dezell says
I can only imagine the hurt you are feeling and it makes me hurt so very much for you. I HATE that you all have to face yet another hurt. I will pray for your family’s fortitude, strength and for Ryan’s healing… Please GOD.
May just knowing that there are SOOOOO many of us out here loving you and willing you our very best help you through yet another “hurdle”.
With love and in prayer,
Keri, MY FRANKIE and Family
Sandy Martin says
Praying for all of you!
Rita says
I wonder if Austin’s parents have ever had to consider the possibility of never looking into their son’s eyes again, or whether he could see them. Our hearts are breaking for you once again, but we pray that this is just a temporary situation and that Ryan’s beautiful brown eyes will be fully functional and full of love and admiration for you and Sue before too long. What a day that will be! Sending you extra hugs and prayers today <3
Ginger Henry via Facebook says
God Bless……praying for you!
Diane Sohn says
Praying for you all today.
Gail Doyle says
Ken, All thoughts and prayers go out to Ryan and you all.Ryan will be alright and in time this procedure will have worked out for the best. Please give Ryan a hug and kiss from me .Will keep him in my thoughts and prayers today and every day. Love gail
Anna says
Ken, Take the opportunity of people staring at you and Ryan and turn it into something positive for Ryan!
Get some copies of the NY Times article made, or copies of something on your blog, hand these out to these curious, gazing people and you might get some contributing followers. Let the world know that Jonathan May, Austin Vantrease and their followers did this to Ryan and you need their help to keep Ryan at his physical best. This is human nature to gawk, Ryan would be, you also would be if you were not in the situation itself. Use it in a positive way. Thinking of you all today in the waiting room anxiously waiting. Hugs all around.
Jo Hobbs via Facebook says
Somehow I knew this was going to take place today! I have been awake since 3:30 a.m. praying for Ryan and for you folks, too. <3 All will be well. 🙂
Jo says
Oh, Ken! How I have dreaded hearing this! I am tearing up just reading it. I can only imagine what this is like for you and your family. And, too, wondering if Ryan is aware, and really, I think he is. I pray that he is! I know you have assured him that he won’t feel a thing and that all is well — I know you — and we are praying that all will be well with no complications, just lots of pain medication.
Just know for sure that we all love you all so very much and our prayers continue. Best wishes, love and prayers.
John Christopher Nolan via Facebook says
May every Angel in God’s command surround Ryan and your family.
Joan Carlson via Facebook says
All our prayers are with you all for success on Ryans’s eye operation. God will hear everyone’s prayers.