The video (below) actually made me crumble at the 17-second mark. It cut to a home video we shot from the mid-1990’s. It was Christmas Eve. Ryan was reading “T’was the Night Before Christmas” with his sister, Kari, to the family. A tradition that was, at that time, just a few years old but survives even now; albeit Kari reads Ryan’s parts.
I paused the video instantly because — and this is the only way I can come close to describing this — it felt like I was projectile-vomiting my soul. My mind and body seemed to violently separate where I co-existed in both realms… and simultaneously in neither. My sense of reality was equally ultra-heightened and entirely numbed.
I have since wondered if this is how it feels to die.I’ll tell you this, I hope that sensation never happens again… well, at least until the day I actually do die. Now I know, with dead certainty, that I simply cannot bring myself to watch any old home videos. Hell, I struggle just looking at photographs! When Frank asked me to look for some footage that he could use from when Ryan was growing up, I told Frank there was no way possible that I was able to bring myself to enough emotional strength to do it.
I’m sure grateful to myself that I had the foresight not to try.
My wife, Sue, tried to watch videos once. She completely broke-down,
crying wailing and trembling uncontrollably. It haunted her for months.
She vowed never to do it again.
The next day I resumed Frank’s video from exactly where I paused. It hurt, like unholy hell, to watch but I did. Well… for a few minutes more. Until I watched him playing Pee Wee baseball (:45 mark).
I paused it for another day.
Then, the part that hit me the hardest was Sue holding Ryan after her graduation (3:33 mark). Ryan was just 8-months old in that frame. What I wouldn’t give to go back to then.
Ryan’s Story: A Video by Frank Fumich
Hey everyone… I’m really proud to share something made to highlight Ryan’s tragic situation. I really wanted people to not only hear about his story, but see it, and even more importantly FEEL it… and not just from me telling it, but from his father, Ken, who lives this every single day. I hope it moves everyone as it does me, and shines a light on our effort for him. PLEASE take a few minutes to watch, and PLEASE share it. Thanks for you help! ~Frank Fumich, Extreme Adventurer.
If Frank’s video (above) made you “feel it” as he hopes, here is the link he provided for the Donation Page: http://
Later this week — perhaps as early as tomorrow — please check back here for another video. This will be the segment that aired across the United States over the Memorial Day weekend.