Yesterday was, effectively, a lost day in my life.
Except for getting up to eat and use the bathroom I slept right through it. Over a twenty-six hour period, I slept somewhere around twenty-four! I would have slept even longer, if not for my alarm going off this morning.
![[via cartoonstock.com]](https://i0.wp.com/ryansrally.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/literature-rip_van_winkle-sleeping-sleeper-slept-bed_head-ggm100522_low.jpg?resize=240%2C300&ssl=1)
[via cartoonstock.com]
I woke again at nine that night. Peed. Ate. Fell asleep.
It’s been an exhausting summer. Mostly because of the stress of Ryan not having his left skull plate. The past month has pushed me to the breaking point and I suppose my body just could not tolerate it any longer. It gave me no choice. It’s obvious I was in desperate need of rest, but I feel overwhelmed with guilt for not being available.
As for Ryan, it looks like the surgery to get this plate back in will happen next week. This really can’t happen soon enough for me.
By now I expect that many people reading this article are wanting for me to “take some time to take care of yourself” or to tell me “there will be better days ahead.” Please, don’t. That’s not what I’m looking for. Remember what I said many times before…
That’s not how this tragedy works.
Happy Birthday, Ryan–you are loved and prayed for every day, always in my heart. SHSP NGA Love you and all of Team Diviney, Annie
I hope Ryan’s surgery goes well and offers you even just a little less tension and stress. I continue to admire your family’s strength. Bless you all.
Thinking of you. Nothing beats getting some sleep.
Always. Forever. Until.
With love and in prayer,
Keri, MY FRANKIE and Family
Ken, I continuously admire you and your entire family..and yes…that was your body tellin you that it needed rest..and so glad you got it! I hope Ryans surgery goes well. I will be thinking of all of you!
Patti
Ken and Sue, I just read two of your articles and I’m so glad you have each other and your awesome daughter and friends. True blessings! I could feel the love you have for each other in Sue’s post and also undeniably for Ryan and Kari also, blessed you are to have such great love.Hugs and prayers for your family.
Glad you got some rest. You need to.
Love to you and your family. Your body took control. Always in my heart and thoughts.
We’re just glad your body got some much-needed rest. I wish it could be taken guilt-free. Here for you and Sue always <3
That was God providing a little peace and rest in your not so sane life.
Hi Ken, I’m glad to see you post. I’ve been missing your updates. Hours and hours of sleep are the price for hours and hours of physical and mental labor. Sleep is the necessary, restorative tonic for the time you spend treating and caring for your beautiful son. A labor of love, but one which takes a heavy toll nonetheless. I wonder if you can even remember where you go in your dreams — probably not I imagine. The guilt is a typical reaction of a hyper vigilent, always on the clock, deep thinker. Try to wrestle the guilt away as it is neither deserving nor productive. The sleep is a requirement you must have and take advantage of when you can. It allows you to uphold the high standards of care you provide Ryan. Doctors probably do it when they have long shifts. Let’s face it, you’ve always been Ryan’s doctor. My heart is with you. My prayers continue. I still have hope, I can still feel it even if you can’t right now. Sending you love, hugs, positive thoughts, much hope and continued prayers. The days are getting shorter; do not allow the darkness to overcome the light which is Ryan. You hang in there and I will keep the faith. Blessings & love Paula
Dude, I slept until 3:30 yesterday too! I heard the Skins were winning and went back to sleep too. Eventually husband made me get up and shower so we could run errands.
I think if we had know each other outside of Ryan we could have been best buds. But the thing is I would be doing exactly the same thing you are doing, well I did I guess. 🙁
Hi Ryan!!!!! Aren’t you glad dad got a long nap?
Nappers unite!
Guilt is inevitable in this journey! Every minute of every day it lies in wait! Try to remember when you’re no good Ryan’s no good, rest is almost impossible because no matter there is always something else that needs to be done. I get it!
Oh how I feel for your family. You are amazing !! Until a family has faced this situation— THEY HAVE NO IDEA. You both are special people. I love it when I see the hope is still there because Sue said “Ryan, wasn’t communicating YET”. I pray he will . Keep doing what you do– keep loving your son Ryan— as we all have come to see as a miracle in progress—and we’ll all keep your family in our prayers. By the way, what wonderful people you are, and it’s obvious because you have such a great bunch of caring friends that try to ride in like the Calvary when they know you are in need. Your family is always in my thoughts and prayers.
Put the oxygen mask on first. I’m happy to hear that your body took the rest that it needed. I’m sure it could use more. My other comment is that you are in a living hell. I can’t imagine how drained you and your family are, day in and day out. There’s just no way to feel relate to that. After we all comment, see you, lend support…we take a break and go back to our lives. We come back and visit you but you live this, day in, and day out. I hope his surgery goes well.
I am so glad you were able to get that extra rest. I pray you find some frequent future opportunities to get a lot more rest, but not during Redskins football. Hugs.
It was time for YOU to rest.. I know you felt that you had to be there for your family. but I bet if they needed you at the moment they would have gotten you up. Your body will shut down and say no more when it has to and this was one of those times. Your family and your strength amaze me in many way but as a parent I can see myself doing the SAME thing if anything were to happen to any of my kids. Even my mother. I have to admit that when I was younger my mothers husband would call on me instead of his own son knowing I would be there in a flash and help with his health issues. If I were closer to you I would offer to come help so that maybe you and your family could take even a few hours of time to relax even if its in the home just hanging out. I have much love and respect for your family. Prayers will continue from my end =) <3
Ken, my brother, I’m not going to offer you the usual platitudes. But your body knew you needed the rest. Our bodies know when we don’t. Mine keeps telling me I’m not a kid anymore! (71 in a little over 2 months!) You cant be strong for Ryan, you cant be his Caregiver if you don’t take care of YOURSELF. Tim & I learned years ago when we became my mom’s Caregivers. 1st commandment of being a Caregiver is the Caregiver must care for him/herself. I’m glad Sue was able to help and maybe you need to do that more often. None of us is superhuman. I had a colonoscopy, Friday morning, insisted I was fine, (Himself rolled his eyes–after almost 35 years, he knows better!). 8:00 that night I crashed on the sofa, awoke 4:10 Saturday morning! We ALL need to let our bodies tell us when they need rest.
I pray the surgery goes well, You have all been through so much. Please do look into assistance from the Head Injury Association or a local Independent Living Center. There may be a consumer driven program whereby you hire a Personal Care Attendant through the organization. I was Board President of our local Independent Living Center almost 20 years ago when the program was established in NY State. (Alas, I was never “BORED” President!). I can find out for you if there’s such a program in Delaware. Again, please take care of yourself, Ken. If Ryan loses you, then what? God bless.
PK & Tim
Ken lives in Northern Virginia, the felons that attacked Ryan exist in Delaware. It is a sweet offer to help.
Your family is always in my thoughts. You received some much needed sleep. Now you can be stronger for Ryan and your family. Keep keeping on and do as you have the best anyone could ever ask for! ! Much love , Michaela
Good thought: sleep=strong. STAY STRONG
Thinking of you guys
I won’t tell you that, but can I tell you, “Dammit, Kenneth! STOP THE GUILT TRIP?” I know, it’s not that easy, but Confucius said that guilt soon kills a man! We need you, as does your family
They say that you can’t catch up on sleep on the weekend, but, obviously, “they” are wrong–maybe!
Always here, wishing I could be there to help out. But soon… …I keep promising! NGA
Dear Ken ,Glad you got some rest and pray Ryan’s surgery goes vvell .
Thinking of you all
So, you won’t fire Me if I call you Nappy-Head? Lol