I told Ken this morning, ”I’m in awe of you”.
He, of course, said, “Finally. I’ve been trying to impress you for a quarter century.” Ha! My husband… always trying to make me laugh. Seriously though, I really don’t know how he does it. Me, I’m exhausted. Plain and simple, thoroughly exhausted. Upon coming home from a week of business travel on Friday night, already exhausted and fighting a migraine, I was ready to relax. I missed my family terribly and couldn’t wait to just hold Ryan and catch up with Ken.
I was looking forward to a nice weekend. Pro football season was starting and I had a plan. Even though exhausted, I was also excited. I was planning on watching WVU on Saturday and the Redskins on Sunday. I was going to run to the store to buy some of our traditional football munchies and surprise Ken with our old gameday meal. Oh, how I loved those days. Every Redskin game, I’d make hotdogs, kielbassy & sauerkraut, nachos, baked beans, and those little wieners. Very, very fattening, yes, but the family loved it. It was family time. We’d all sit in front of the TV watching games, checking our fantasy football picks, and eating. Ryan was in his element!
And sweet, sweet Kari, she would pop in and out, grabbing a bite, stepping in front of the television to bug her brother, or asking me to drive her to a friend’s house. Ryan never understood how she couldn’t sit through a whole game! “Girls,” he would say, “they just don’t get it!” But anyway, I thought that as the season was kicking off this would be a good time to try to bring some normalcy to our lives. I couldn’t wait! I was going to let Ryan taste the food. He would love it! But, no, it wasn’t meant to be.
Back to Friday night. I walk in the door, take off my shoes, run down in the basement and bam…find out the nurse has called out. It’s not her fault, but, oh the sinking pain. I already had a migraine, but now, I’m going to be up all night with a migraine. And guess what, the nurse for Saturday also called out. What? You have to be kidding me? Ken’s been on his own all week. He has to be exhausted and now we don’t have a nurse for 72 hours!!
I wanted to sit and cry. But no time for that… we have to get the meds ready and give Ryan a shower (yes, the beautiful shower). I ask him, do you like the water? Give me a thumbs up if you like the water. And he moves his thumb. Oh, yes, now I cry. I needed that. I needed that badly. My Ryan, he knows when his mom needs a sign that all is going to be okay. We finish getting him ready for bed and I crawl up with him, just holding him tightly. It is so good to be home and I am so fortunate to have such a wonderful family. “Ding, ding”…. A new text… “I love you”. Ahhh…how do they know? It’s Kari and she just made my night. All is well. I’m up all night, but all is well.
4:30 am… I’m prepping Ryan’s 5 & 6 o’clock meds and I turn around and what? Ken is up! It’s 4:30! Seriously, how does he do it? He’s up and helping. Ryan has an incredible series of meds and shots from 5-7 and he’s there to help with them. He also helps me get him up and dressed. I’m planning on helping him get Ryan into the HBOT around 7, but I lay down on the bed for just a minute, a minute, that’s all, but…. nope, I fell asleep. I didn’t wake up until noon.
And what’s that I hear upon waking? There is noise from upstairs, multiple footsteps, what’s going on? I walk out to see Ken sipping coffee and talking to Ryan with a beautiful vase of flowers sitting next to him. He says a mystery woman dropped them off this morning. How amazing this community is! And then he tells me the noise upstairs is the ladies (Sue’s Crew). They brought muffins and are upstairs cleaning and washing clothes. They’ve been here all morning, cleaning my house. Mary, Debbie, Paula, and Miranda! What an amazing group of people.
I walk upstairs and I can’t believe my eyes. They are scrubbing and cleaning! It’s incredible! I think, Miranda, it’s Saturday, you should be out with your friends or at the mall. But, no, she wants to be here helping Ryan. After mopping my floor and pulling weeds, she sits down with Ryan to talk to him and watch the WVU game. How wonderful… I love when people take the time to sit and talk to Ryan. Because… he might not be able to communicate yet, but I feel he hears and understands. I can tell. I see the difference in his face. He longs to hear his friends voices and stories. I believe it is therapeutic and is what keeps him fighting day after day. He wants his life back.
The day goes on, Ken naps for a few hours, and I even catch a cat nap while the ladies pamper Ryan with foot and head massages. Oh, and once again, if you wonder if he can tell. Every time, Mary stopped rubbing his feet, Ryan would kick his foot. He was really enjoying his day. But once again, night was coming. The nursing agency had no luck and we were on our own again. After arguing over who was staying up, Ken suggests we take turns in two hour shifts. This seems like a fair compromise, although I felt it should have still been me up, but I agree. Ken’s tells me he going to watch some TV with Ryan so I should sleep first. I’m exhausted, so I agree. So back to the point of my text…. “how does he do it?” I wake up, and guess what? It’s not midnight, it’s 6am! 6am! Ken is up making the concoction of nutrients for Ryan’s lunch and fresh cranberry juice. He’s wide awake. He spent the night up with Ryan! How does he do it? Me, I’m still tired, but somehow, Ken just keeps on going. I am in awe!
So, I finally sent Ken to bed, or should I say, like me yesterday, he sat down on the bed to wait for Ryan to finish up in the HBOT and fell asleep. We won’t be having our gameday feast, but I’ll watch the game with Ryan and fill Ken in later when he wakes up. While our lives are far from perfect, it feels good knowing what wonderful family and friends I have. Thank you to everyone for all your support and love… we couldn’t do it without you!
And Ken, I did notice you were a good guy a decade or so ago, but didn’t want it to go to your head!
All my love…
Sue
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- Ryan Should be with You, Kari. (ryansrally.org)
Really enjoyed reading your post Sue. Gives us even more appreciation of how much Ken does and how strong a person he is. Ryan is blessed to have you both as parents. You have a very strong, wonderful, and loving family. God bless you and your family.
I love this whole post but my favorite part…Ryan giving the THUMBS UP!!! He is coming back to you…I feel it! The love of his family and this community are bringing him back! God bless you…I pray for you always!
Great to hear from you Sue. Thank you to all the folks that are able to help you out. I hope you get to enjoy your football game very soon. I bet Duke would love some kielbassy and sauerkraut.
bless you bless you bless you!!!! You are all rays of light for me. bless you.
Thanks to Sue’s crew! You are the best!
Beautifully written Sue. It took me right into Ryan’s life and your home. I am here praying for Ryan every day.
Love you!
Natalie
Sue, what a joy it is to spend time with your family, and to see Ryan making efforts to communicate with others! I’m in awe of Ken too — and you as well!! I think of both of you throughout the day, wondering how you do it. But I know it’s your deep love and commitment to Ryan and Kari that keeps you going.
Praying the Lord will send reliable night nurses, a dedicated speech therapist to help Ryan as he continues to fight his way back, and all the love and support your family needs and deserves.
Also praying for a smooth week!
Love & hugs, Paula
I’m so sorry I couldn’t be with you and ‘my girls’ on Saturday! It sounds like it was lots of fun. I’m with you in spirit, thoughts, and prayers. So many of us know that Ryan is in there just waiting for that right moment to come back to us. He shows us little signs, and of course we always want more. But we learn to accept the little things, and we know that a lot of little things do add up. Just like Ryan’s little successes and the love & prayers from friends, the little things really do add up and they make all the difference. Wishing you all a wonderful week. Special hugs to Ryan and lots of love to all of you!!
I’m sorry too, Sue, that I could not be there. 🙁 I did not have a car. I’m sure the girls were cleaning and weeding like whirling dervishes, so that they could spend some quality time with you and Ryan. Love you – and holding your entire family in my heart and my prayers. <3 carla
I will add my name to the list of Sue’s crew who was not able to be there on Saturday:(. Though I have been “missing in action” for a bit now, please know how much I love my “Sue mates” and the entire Diviney family.
I feel like there is a part of me missing when I do not get to spend time with all of you. I am hoping my body starts cooperating so that I can get back to my team. I adore all of you~
… and Sue, Ken, Kari, and Ryan… I am in love, with the Diviney Family. THANK YOU.
Sometimes, there are no words deep enough to express the gratitude that lies deep within one’s heart. All is I know is that my heart is full after reading this entry.
Thank you GOD for giving me the Diviney family. Thank you Diviney Family for showing me yet again, how to perservere when your heart is broken and your life is turned upside down. May you get back tenfold what I feel deep within my heart.
and I too, believe that Ryan is very much aware of the dedication, the joy and the love surrounding him on a daily basis… and my fervent prayer is that one day soon, he’ll be able to let you know that DEFINITIVELY through his words and his actions.
GOOOOO Diviney Family!!
With love and in prayer,
Keri, My Frankie and Family
I love you so much, Ms. Sue <3 🙂 Sending lots of hugs for you, Mr. Ken, Ryan, and the dogs!!! Xoxo
Hey Sue, at least the Redskins won today and made sure that one thing this weekend went as planned. Love you guys and think of “yinz” guys daily!
Good to hear from you Sue! Wishing you all well and hoping you’ll have your Sunday football munchies in the coming weeks.
Dear Sue,It’s good to hear from you too and hoping nurse comes in tonight.Wish I could be one of “Sue’s Crew” and help. One day you will have that Sunday and I’m thinking and praying always for you all. You are an awesome family and thanks for letting us all be a part of Ryan’s and your family’s life Gail
Maybe we can be there some day, Gail. But just one thing, I don’t do windows, can barely manage Windows XP! I’ll do the cooking, fold laundry, play with the dogs and read to our man, Ryan–all the easy jobs!
Sounds good ,Jo we’ll get a plan soon
A beautiful testimony to what marriage is supposed to be.
Thanks for sharing your lives with all of us. We are better husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, friends, coworkers, etc because of knowing you.
Again, you bring me to tears, just like I was yesterday when I attended a good friends’ son’s wedding. Much like you I got choked up when one of my best friends danced with her son. I thought about dancing someday with my sons and then I thought about you and the last wedding you were at that brought you such raw emotion. Here’s the thing, we dance with our kids every day, maybe not for everyone to see, but whether we are giving advice and having conversations or whether we are giving medications and a shower, we are dancing every day. I don’t know you and Ryan, Ken or Kerri, but it sure does feel like I do. I was kneeling down in church and prayed so hard that Ryan will see a day like this. I have to believe that he’s touched so many lives for a reason. Some say that the connection I feel for your family is a result of the Holy Spirit bringing me into your lives. I truly don’t know what it is, but one thing is for sure – next time Ken gets a table for a pity party, make it for thousands of people, not just for one. You are all such a profound part of so many lives, and you should never feel alone. I sometimes don’t have the first sip of coffee and I’m checking on Ryan, just hoping to hear something positive about how he is doing. The fact that he moves his thumb for you or that he wanted his foot massage to continue, that is so good to hear, you have no idea. I will never stop praying, caring or hurting, crying with you and doing whatever I can financially to help your family. Thank you so much for sharing Ryan with us, it’s wonderful to hear about his progress, he’s come so far since I first heard about this story last year – I’ve never missed a day – he’s got special icons and my computer and i-phone so we can stay connected. Hoping for more good news from IBRF. Sincerely from Buffalo, NY. Oh, good game for the Redskins today too~~