My hardline stance and unrelenting bad-mouthing upon those who harmed Ryan brought out some interesting responses. Among these, although rare, are the one’s that say I shouldn’t be so judgemental of them or their actions… to include the buffoon who called Social Services. Really? I’m told I am no better than they are. Again, really? As one example, a reader made the following comment on my recent post Faceless Bastard: Ignoramus or Trouble Maker, “When we judge others like that, we are no better than the ones we call ignoramuses and trouble-makers“.
The simple fact is, I must judge people all the time. It’s important to Ryan’s care. I consider passing judgement as a critical part of the job description in caring for him. Even more, these judgements must be made quickly, sometimes with little information. I don’t have the time (or energy) to dick around. I judge everyone and everything in the context of character, skill, ability, knowledge, talent, and motive. I, my friend, am judgmental. I make no apologies. The simple truth is, I judge myself at least as hard.
<via http://thejuniordoctor.blogspot.com/>
Some quote the biblical “judge not, least ye be judged” (I believe this is from Matthew). To them I say, fine. I accepted those terms. Where do I sign? This simply alerts me that if I do judge, then I will be judged. I have no problem with this. None at all. It seems unwise in a situation where a person has a history of aggression, brings harm upon another, runs and tries to hide from it some two-plus years later not to be judged. Judgement by those who might come into contact with them could serve them well, indeed.
So, to those who tell me I shouldn’t judge… well… I’ll just be the judge of that.
Ken,i love reading your posts and enjoy the comments.You and Sue do an amazing job. Ryan and kari are very blessed to have you as parents.Still here,still praying.
I fully agree with what Rita and bill said…wise words.
To Kiki…sometimes the comments really do keep those of us that are living in the brain injury world going. The ones that encourage raise us up and the s$&t ones make us fight harder!
Ken, you and your wife are amazing! Where many parents would just put their child in a “home” you have taken on the role of a true parent! I respect you for that!
I will always remember our “neighbors” in the room next door and continue to pray for y’all!
Blessings!!
Ken, Have you thought about stopping all comments? Honestly, most are too long, boring and some ladies just constantly preach.
Or, alternatively, Kiki — those such as yourself who find the prose, pontificating and occasional random verse boring could just skip reading the comments section.
Way to go, Paula:)
She doesn’t have to read them!!!!!!
It is not a requirement to read the comments….
Ken, it’s good that you vent to us on this board. It’s healthy that you do that and none of us mind it. Hope Ryan is doing well and we pray for him. God Bless you.
Paula, that poem was beautiful.
Ken, there are still people out there who are wanting to do what they can to help their neighbor. I just received a check here at the office payable to Ryan Diviney Special Needs Trust a few moments ago. I have to wonder how it makes those who were responsible for Ryan’s injuries feel when they see perfect strangers helping their fellow man when they are not.
Will get the check to you soon.
“Like”,Carla
AMEN!!!
Ken,
Did you have your visit with Social Services? How did that turn out?
How is Ryan’s surgery healing (I assume no problem).
Did the UTI get taken care of? (Do you subscribe to Medscape articles?)
Glad you had a good weekend with your daughter and between you and Sue, you can give her special attention.
Those who speak without having known
the pain that’s yours and yours alone
should set a spell and give some thought
to what the Bible really taught
Rather than spin nice platitudes
they should check their own attitudes
for only God knows your pain
of joys you’ve lost and sorrows gained
“Talk is cheap” the cliche goes
your brokenness no one knows
except our God who sees inside
the secret fears you daily hide
To all who insist that you are wrong
they might be singing a different song
if their own child was hurt this way
and they felt your heartache every day
To those who admonish, chastize and preach
remember what our Lord did teach
He alone will search our hearts
and fix what men have torn apart
The best way to help those who mourn
is not to wound them with your scorn
but rather to encourage, lift up, give
sacrifice to help them live
That is the message of the One
Who was tormented by everyone
just so one day we could transcend
to a place of joy that never ends
Until that time our focus should be
to help those who suffer unjustly
by doing everything we can
to lend a caring, helping hand
That’s it, just love, care and give
please help a wounded family live
God will look in all our hearts
and whisper, “Did you do your part?”
No one should judge you for anything Ken.
Just remember you and your family are loved and deeply cared about by many.
Still here and still keeping the faith
Hugs, love, prayers
Paula
@Paula
WOW!
Beautiful ,Paula
Ken,
I think you’re good on verse 15. The person who reported…..on verse 16?…..not so much!
Leviticus 19:15-16
15 “‘Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly.
16 “‘Do not go about spreading slander among your people.
Ken,
I think you’re good on verse 15. The person who reported on verse 16?……not so much.
Leviticus 19:15-16
15 “‘Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly.
16 “‘Do not go about spreading slander among your people.
I just read the posts you referred to and am in tears. How dare anyone defend the slime low-life’s that did this to Ryan Ken, stay strong. You are doing the world a favor by alerting us of the evil out there. I wish there were more brave people out there like you. People need to know the evil out there in their communities. It is common for criminals to repeat their actions and most likely these animals will strike again. Probably in the middle of the night and will run and hide like the cowards they really are. Parents, keep your children away, they are dangerous. Remember, none of them has shown remorse. This I interpret that as a sign they felt it is okay to do this. And their families agree. Am I judging, yes. Go ahead judge me back. I am not a coward and will answer for the decisions I make in my life. Ken, thank you. Stay strong.
Ian Percy once said “We judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions.” I believe your intentions are pure.
Well said, Ken.
If only! If only you could legally judge the “six,” and decide their punishment as well! But then we would have to call you Judge Doctor. Actually it kinda has a nice ring, don’t you think? Judge Doctor, I like that! Here comes da Judge Doctor! Umm hmm! The old TV show, “Laugh In,” could have used this. Whover is saying that you shouldn’t be judgemental are themselves being judgemental. Clearly, they missed the point of Matthew 7: 1. And now for a Bible lesson from Barnes’ Notes on the Bible :
Judge not … … This command refers to rash, censorious, and unjust judgment. See Romans 2:1. Luke6:37 explains it in the sense of “condemning.” Christ does not condemn judging as a magistrate, for that, when according to justice, is lawful and necessary. Nor does he condemn our “forming an opinion” of the conduct of others, for it is impossible not to form an opinion of conduct that we know to be evil. But what he refers to is a habit of forming a judgment hastily, harshly, and without an allowance for every palliating circumstance, and a habit of “expressing” such an opinion harshly and unnecessarily when formed. It rather refers to private judgment than “judicial,” and perhaps primarily to the customs of the scribes and Pharisees.
Just sign me, Still Searching,but following the teachings of
Jesus Christ and learning more about them through study of the New Testament. SHSP NGA
“whoever.” A typo, but I will never forget a teacher, who had a rule that if students mispelled a word, they had to write it 100 times, and then see how many words they could create out of the mispelled word. 🙁
There is judgment (which none of us will escape), and then there is discernment. It is clear to us that God has given you a wise and discerning heart so that you are best-equipped to care for your son because of what a group of foolish, careless young men chose to do, Ken. The Bible also says, “preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you” (Proverbs 3:21-22). The Word of God is not for us to use in judging one another but to encourage each other in this life. Be encouraged, friend, and pay no attention to your critics.
Love your stance. Never stop Go Ryan.
Ken, You have every right to judge the creeps that did this to your son, and whoever called Social Services. I am a strong believer in God ,but in your situation ,I think God understands what you are going through and you never hurt anyone …They hurt many,many people. All the people you love and care about. And one day if Ryan forgives them, that’s different. Don’t people stop to think about what you have to go through 24/7 every day, because of something so senseless, something that should have been avoided. They deserve anything they get and more and their parents too..Never to acknowledge your family or pay what the law said to … Such cowards!!!!You and Sue are the heroes. Judge all you want ,you could never, never be like them!!!! Praying for healing for Ryan and you all
love Gail
Ken, I agree with you. When I see people post stuff that in a roundabout way tries to defend those Delaware thugs, I think of that song “Only a Lad” from Oingo Boingo that Mark McGee used to play all the time on our freshman dorm floor (back in the OLD days of 1982). The song satirically discussed how people would make excuses and cover up for their kids that went down the wrong path in life.