I had my best day in nearly fifteen months yesterday. Kari and I went shopping. We ate entirely too much food. We went to the movies. Then, to top the day off, I got to see most of her and Ryan’s friends.
My day wrapped-up around midnight. I quickly fell asleep and didn’t completely wake until 10 AM. Despite my ordinary troubled dreams, it was the best night of sleep I’ve had since November 7, 2009.
Meanwhile, Sue said her and Ryan had a great day. She was sending my photos throughout the day of her and Ryan. It help ease the anxiety of being away from home. Ryan had a full day of therapy as well.
So, the helpless feeling of being torn is creeping back in. I don’t want to leave, and I don’t want to be away. Last night, while I was with Kari and her friends I had to hold it together. This is where BOTH my children belong. It’s just not fair.
Then, after leaving Kari, I drove past the location of Ryan’s beating. I felt the hate. I was consumed by the lose. It was too much for any parent to bear. I did’t stop or spend time studying the details. I kept moving forward. I will always move forward.
So glad you had the day with Kari that you deserved, even happier you finally got a full nights sleep. Guessing you were feeling Motown love. I can’t imagine driving past the scene of the crime. Your hate, anger and hurt are totally understandable, and probably more productive than numb in many ways. Still here, always here. Love you all.
Well first of all, I’m so glad you got a good night’s sleep. Sounds like a perfect day. Keep moving forward Ken, we are all here for you and The Team. Love ya!!!
So glad your weekend was a good one, and pray that your trip back to Ashburn is without a hitch! You are a very special dad. Thank you so much for sharing with us. I am sorry you had to go to that parking lot, but who am I to say that this is not a step in the healing process. God is the healer, and I know He will heal your hurt as time goes by, but I also know it will take awhile. You and none of us will ever be the same.
Trusting God and still here, Jo
We love you & Sue, Ken — and we love your beautiful children, too. Through everything that life dishes out, that’s the one thing you can count on.
Thank God for a perfect day with your daughter, a great night’s sleep (what a difference that makes!) and a really good day back at home for Sue and Ryan — what a gift! It’s good for you to get away and focus on other parts of your family’s life, but the strong emotions will always be there. They are hard to live with, but you are managing them incredibly well and they are keeping you motivated to continue moving forward. We are so sorry for the pain that you and Sue have to bear but thankful for the strength of your love together. We will always lift you and your precious children up in prayer <3
There’s something special about daddy-daughter time. And it sounds as if this weekend was just what you and Kari both needed. Your note warmed my heart, as you painted a picture of undying love, the love that only a parent can feel. And after driving by the scene of where today brings us, I’m so very proud of you for being steadfast in your resolve to move forward. That’s not easy. God Bless You Ken, and God Bless your loving family. We will never leave your side. Still here, still praying. Love, carla
Sounds like a great time… I am happy for you all. You have come along way Ken since the night of November 7, 2009. Keep moving forward, we are with you. Trust in Sue caring for Ryan, she loves him like only a mom can.
Ken, I am deeply touched by your unending relationship with Kari and Ryan’s friends.
They need your fatherly influence and connection that only you can offer. Through these tough times together, you can be there to support, love, listen, advise, be angry, comfort, cry, and share your family devotion with these caring youth as you grieve Ryan’s assult. And in return, they can lift you up and help your emotions to heal. Being around college kids makes me laugh and brightens my spirits. It sounds as though your day was a gift….one that needed opened for a long long time. I hope you had a safe trip home. I’m sure Sue and Ryan were anxious to hear all about your weekend in Morgantown. You are loved and prayed for daily.
Ken, It’s been 11 years since my son was shot in the head. Each year on January 25 & 26 I relive those days all over again. The “hate” of what happened creeps in again and the memories of what followed are still there. When I read the stories of Congresswomen Giffords, those memories were there. Then I read the statistics of how many people survive gunshot wounds to the head…only 10%! Brought back the thought of the blessings my family and I have had. It does get better Ken, but it will take time. This is all still new to you and the road ahead will have it’s bumps. I encourage you to have more days like yesterday to help balance your life. You, Sue, Ryan and Kari share a strong love together and now you have a whole lot of “friends” who love and admire you too! Can’t wait for the day Ryan can once again say those words “I love you, my family!” Take care! SHSP for all of you.
Savor these little nuggets between you and Kari. My dad and I shared a most special bond, very similar to what you and Kari have. He’s been gone almost 24 years now, but the WVU stories were ours too. (He and I are both WVU alums.) Be safe coming home. Still here — still praying — always praying.
So glad Ken that you had a great day with Kari and a good nights sleep as well. God Bless you Ken, Sue, Ryan and Kari. Still here, still praying. Love you guys!!!!
Well deserved break and it’s nice you were able to spend the an enjoyable weekend with your daughter. God bless Ryan and your family.
Ken, I’m so glad you enjoyed the trip as much as the kids enjoyed seeing and talking to you. I can’t imagine how bittersweet it must be for you, thank you for being there and being so strong.
Stay strong Ken….the terrible hate will never get better or go away. But you get stronger. You are such an inspiration to all who follow this blog. So glad you had a great weekend!!!
Ken
Im glad to hear that you and Kari had a good time. Im sure it upset being with Kari and Ryans friends and him not being able to be there and then going past where this all happened it would make a person feel hate. Its just not fair! I dont drive that way often but when i do i think about it so im sure it does hurt you going that way. But with God Ryan will be back with His friends Im holding onto Gods Promise!