This slideshow ran throughout Ryan’s services. So many people asked that I put it online so that they could watch it again… and for those who were unable to attend. It is my honor.
"I tell him I tried. I tried to keep memory alive; I tried to fight those who would forget. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. There is so much injustice & suffering crying out for our attention. We must take sides. We must interfere. -E.W.
This slideshow ran throughout Ryan’s services. So many people asked that I put it online so that they could watch it again… and for those who were unable to attend. It is my honor.
Diviney family, I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful, loving son/brother. I only learned of Ryan and his and your plight after he tragically passed on recently from an online Washington Post article in my news feed. Wanting to know more about your family’s story, I then found your wonderful website and got to reading your blog from the very beginning to try to experience in my mind/understand what had happened to Ryan and his ensuing therapy and progress; the world rallying around him over the years; related legal matters; and your general thoughts on life and death and the nature of people. It really is unfathomable how horrific things can befall good people, whilst the joys in life can continue to be experienced by his attackers – in particular how one of them can upon being released from prison have relations with women and then father a child of his own. What a cruel world we live in. What person would want to breed with such an evil, violent man and risk the life of her child much less her own? How could her own family even support that? I don’t understand how either of the monsters who essentially “killed” your precious boy received such pathetic prison sentences. As others have pointed out, low-level drug offenders receive longer jail time. Our justice system is out of whack. Ironically, they would have been tried for murder and convicted if you didn’t elect to have life-saving measures employed to keep your son alive in the hours after his attack. But you were only fighting to save your son like he would have wanted you to do for him if he ever fell into such a situation. Ken and Sue and Kari’s steadfast devotion to Ryan day in and day out was both a beautiful and heartbreaking thing to behold. You all never gave up. That is the deepest love there is: that bond between parent and child. I hope you can find some measure of comfort in knowing you did absolutely everything in your power to keep Ryan’s body in optimal shape should he regain consciousness, and made sure he was as comfortable as possible as his body strengthened and to keep death at bay for as long as humanly possible. Nothing else came before healing Ryan, your son, to the sacrifice of everything else. I know you’ve lost your faith, and I myself am not a religious person, but perhaps you have some measure of relief in knowing that your son’s soul is at rest: an angel in heaven where there’s no pain, only love and warmth and that he’s there waiting for you when your time comes. I think it’s a nice thought anyway and what I like to imagine awaits me – reuniting with loved ones whenever I pass.
You’ve really experienced the worst in humanity: it’s one thing to have a child die before his time if it were to happen by pure accident or through something genetic. That’s tragic enough as it is. But to lose your child due to the malicious actions of others, over something senseless, is beyond comprehension in my mind. I’m angry for your family and I don’t even know you all personally. So if you want to remain angry and unforgiving, because it was up to Ryan to forgive, then by all means continue to do so and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I hope those monsters never know any peace, only misery. You’ve received messages from thousands of complete strangers giving you their condolences and saying “I’m sorry” when the ones who really should be saying that are your son’s killers and they’ve never even truly done that.
And yet you’ve also witnessed the best in humanity: the thousands of people who’ve wished you well, prayed for your family, donated money, took action for improvements to your home and providing a custom van, holding fundraisers, etc. You saw that there is good in people and that they do care for their fellow human being in need. Hopefully that provides some kind of comfort to you too but I know you’d trade all of that and your own life to have Ryan back and live a long and full life. I think it’s wonderful how Kari honored her brother by following Ryan into the same university as he had wanted, then to graduate with distinction; and now helping others in her chosen career after being inspired by her brother. That is awesome. You’ve set legal precedents. You’ve furthered the knowledge and science of TBI and the rehabilitation and care of people afflicted with such. I know that you, Ken, need to find a new focus now that your constant companion is no longer by your side. There is much knowledge you can continue to impart to the scientific field of TBI and of physical therapy/rehabilitation; and years of experience you can use to guide individuals and families that continue to grapple with a loved one going through the same situation. You mentioned before you were working on a book. I, and I’m sure many others, would like to read that some day whenever it’s finished. I look forward to seeing the documentary “Storming” when’s it complete and released: Ryan’s story reaching an even bigger audience. You did not let your son/brother down! Ryan will be remembered!!!
For me, personally, I won’t soon forget about Ryan or your family either. Your unconditional love for Ryan is awe-inspiring and makes me, someone who does not yet have children himself, better understand that parent-child bond. I’m blessed to have great parents myself who’ve always been there for me but fortunately, haven’t had to be put to the test as you all were. I do want children for myself one day, but another thing I take from your story is I truly need to be ready and prepared for that consequential undertaking: to be ready financially and having their needs come before anything else I have going on; to have to sacrifice everything if that’s what it takes to ensure they’re happy and healthy.
So thank you for reinforcing that lesson on child-rearing should it be necessary for me one day and thank you just for being good people and honoring your beautiful son Ryan. Peace be with you and be well Diviney family!
I am so deeply sorry for your families loss. I have been following Ryan’s story since about 2012 when it was shared on my Facebook page. For the past seven years I have been periodically visiting the site and your Facebook page to see how Ryan was doing. I have no real connection but his story made an impact and I will remember him. You are in my prayers
What a moving tribute to your amazing son, and brother. Ryan touched so many lives even of those he had never met. I am holding your entire family in my prayers and am so sorry for your loss.