At the conclusion of yesterday’s neuro-feedback session with IBRF, the technician — rather matter-of-factly — told me to “enjoy the holiday weekend”. I thank her, wishing her the same, and disconnected the video conference call. As I was removing the tangle of wires from Ryan’s head, I paused. “Wait! Holiday Weekend? What the…?”, I wondered.
Turns out, here in the United States it is a holiday weekend. Memorial Day.
In the past, I always loved celebrating it. It was my personal sign that summer was upon us… be damned the official summer solstice that was weeks away. I was proud to hang the stars and stripes from my porch. It meant I could openly grill, without fear of ridicule from the neighbors. The pools were opening and children’s shrieks of fun would be heard. I looked forward to the marathon of war movies throughout the weekend. It meant carnivals were popping up and the county fair was within reach. It was my hope that all women would hear the call to break out the scantily clad, flimsy clothing.
But, most of all and in complete seriousness, I honored those who unselfishly gave everything they had (including their lives). Freedom! The right to pursue life, liberty and happiness.
Well, it’s tough to celebrate it (or any other holiday, for that matter) these days. I lost my freedom. My family lost their freedom. Ryan lost nearly everything. We all lost happiness. The smiles were literally beaten from our faces. Honestly, there’s not even a chance to pursue happiness unless something astonishing happens. It’s fair to say my family is denied this basic right.
Clearly I don’t blame the military for what happened to us. It’s not their job to defend against poor parenting. I don’t expect them posted at every convenience store or parking lot where drunken hoodlums might happen upon. How could they ever defend our country against all the morally retarded?
The best I can do to salvage my once treasured holiday is to silently offer my honor and respect. It’s really not about all the bravado anyhow. I suppose, it the most basic form, I realize it’s not about my enjoyment. It’s about honoring those who deserve it. People who unselfishly put their life aside for the welfare of others.
I’ll still continue to hold on to — and advocate — the ushering in of scantily clad women. My hope is that others will share my passion and we can get Congress to recognize it on it’s very own day. Really, doesn’t it call for such? Someday (maybe) I’ll share my vision of my very own tropical island-nation. In the meantime, I’m holding out hope that this is the beginning of a grassroots movement!
Honoring those who served. All gave some. Some gave all.
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I forgot to mention I live in a Senior Citizens apartment complex and for the most scantily women isn’t all it is cracked up to be. But I do like to go after those nurses aids.
gail weingarten says
i am here in villanova, pa in the situation with my son craig. i hate these holiday weekends as well. bad reminders of hospitals and ICUs. also feel like everyone is having fun in their normal lives and we are here taking care of Craig who like ryan, should be out having fun.
Gail Doyle via Facebook says
You sure are !!!!!
Jill in Morgantown says
Let me take this opportunity to, in your own words, “offer my honor and respect” to YOU, Sue and Kari as you all are “People who unselfishly put their life aside for the welfare of others.” On a lighter note, break out the porno and cigars since the women are gone 🙂 SHSP in Morgantown
Ryan's Rally: We Got This via Facebook says
I think I’m just good at search engines.
Jo Hobbs via Facebook says
Where the heck do you find these photos? !! This one is the greatest! Thinking of you.
Any new information regarding the filter in Ryan’s leg and surgery!
My prayers continue.
Thanks for the explanation on how the neurofeedback works. I am praying Ryan is showing more evidence of his thinking process as you continue to work with him.
Honestly I am praying for some kind of miracle that the interventional radiologist will say, “oh, it can stay in place with little concern about something bad happening.” Or, a vascular surgeon will say, “yes, I can remove this with little risk to Ryan.”
In the meantime…your post has motivated me to go into my garage and look for the flag that has been moved and I haven’t been able to find. It needs to go up. I’ve noticed a trend in my own neighborhood and in Ashburn in general that fewer and fewer souls have been putting up their flags on Veteran’s Day and Memorial Day. I’ve been guilty of it myself, and my Dad is a WWII veteran. Your words have inspired me to put more effort into honoring those who paid the ultimate price for our freedom.
Well — I guess a lot of folks are heading out of town to go to wherever they go. I’m going to take a page out of your book and focus on living in this moment — Ryan and your family are doing well, my family is doing well — I can see the sun shining and am grateful it is summer not winter. I’m getting ready to raise a flag and celebrate freedom, a treasure that much of the world will never know.
Hope your’s and Ryan’s day goes well, and thank you for a great post!!
Love, positive thoughts, belief, hope, faith
On this Memorial Day, I will honor you – you are fighting a war that none of us could ever understand or know. You are the best Dad and I’ve said it before, Ryan is very lucky to have you. Please know that no matter what is going on around you, there are people out here that are constantly praying and hoping for Ryan to continue to make positive signs of improvement. How is Ryan doing?? How do these conferences work? Has there been anything positive noted since the complete withdraw of that one drug you’ve been weaning him off of (Can’t remember how to spell it) Just wondering how he’s doing.
Ryan seems to be doing well, but I constantly worry about UTIs and the IVC filter bringing this journey to an end.
It’s quite complicated how the IBRF neuro-feedback session work. Basically, I hook Ryan with a scaled-down EEG to a computer. IBRF then remotely takes control of the computer while we have video conference running.
I loaded various songs, voices, and videos that he likes. If his brain patterns are within several parameters, he is rewarded with the stimulus playing. Throughout the sessions, IBRF is making adjustments to the thresholds and readings. On my end, I’m adding/subtracting stimuli (like a cold wash cloth on the face, change in body position, gently shaking him, etc.)
After 30 measurable sessions (not all are recorded), we evaluate and adjust. We are, in effect, training him to think again (we hope) by rewarding focus and relaxation.
Gail Doyle via Facebook says
Wishing you all a calm,peaceful weekend and the “pursuit oh happiness “to come very soon …