I woke this morning with a strong urge to clean the garage. I took a momentary lapse from reality, thinking I just might do it. We still have packed boxes from when we returned from Shepherd Center in February 2010. I wanted to do this since last fall to allow Sue to pull her car in. I hate that she needs to scrap the frost from her windshield on cold mornings. The thing is, I can’t do either — clean the garage or scrap the ice — to help her. The garage is destined to be a mess and I simply cannot leave Ryan to help Sue.

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This Most personal freedom is gone. Ruined. Kaput! It’s not up to me to me anymore. Somethings got to give, and it has. The unfortunate thing is that it touches others. It’s the domino-effect in all it’s flippin’ glory. When the Newark, DE punks pushed kicked that first tile over, it started a whole series of effects downstream. If not for them, the garage would be clean and Sue would be warm. Think about it…
Then think about what is to come. Scary, isn’t it?
I try to not. I’ll live in this moment, thank you very much. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. But, it’s more likely I’ll need to build that bridge first. I simply can’t count on those who did this to our family to accept responsibility. Those bastards should be the ones building the bridge. Is that too much to expect? If nothing else, they should fund the project.
I will say a special prayer at Mass this morning for Ryan. I pray that he continually improve and we are thankful for the good days he has, like avoiding the UTI, and the successful baclofen reduction progess.
Everytime I think of the Newark thugs and their shameless parents
I get very angry and do not understand their moral compass and lack thereof. How can they come out of the house everyday and go about life like there is nothing different. I can not wait till they get hit with a civil suit judgement.
Always praying for Ryan and you all.
Friend of Ryan, I believe your writing is coming straight from the heart of God! Praying, too, that all souls will be healed through the grace of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and may our spirits be lifted by His love. Amen
Love, hope, peace and joy to all.
Ryan,
Peace to you and to your family, especially your father and mother and sister whose lives were decimated from this sensless act of violence. I pray that you will always be at peace. I pray that you will one day miraculously recover and God’s Will be done with your complete recovery. Whatever we ernestly pray for will be answered although some times not in the way we expect. Spiritual blessings will always comfort you, even if not apparent to others around you. I believe that your Guardian Angel is hugging you this very minute and speaking to you. I believe that you are aware and hear your parents and friends right now. Ryan, pray for your family and friends. Pray that they will have peace. Pray that good comes out of evil not just in your life, but in senseless acts of evil being committed every minute of every day to other families around the world. Evil is simply the lack of God. When the world realizes this and turns to God, then the world will be a better place. Ryan, it certainly does not look good right now for you physically or the physical world, but things will inevitably progress and in the end Jesus will return and wipe away every tear from everyone suffering. Take heart Ryan, Christ has already conquered the world, but humanity still cannot grasp it. Perhaps your prayers to God, Ryan, will start to change the hearts of people, one at a time, and turn them to Christ. Start by thanking God for what he has given you in the past, a greaty family and great love and past memories. Then thank him for your family’s endless love and 24 hour care for you. Finally pray for their peace starting right now and an end to anger and thoughts of vengence which leads to nothing productive in this world or the next, but rather anxiety, fear, disorientation, sleepless nights, exhaustion, panic, and ultimately moving everyone around you further from God and His Love. Christ came into the World to show Mercy even to the most vile sinners and their violent sensless acts. He forgave them all without exception and we cannot rest in this world until we rest in His Heart today. Ryan, imitate Christ right now. Pray that your family imitate Christ right now and start the healing of your bodies and souls beginning this day, Saturday, February 18, 2012. GOD BLESS you Ryan, and GOD BLESS you Ken and Sue and Kari and all those suffering with you. Revelation 22:20-21
“If nothing else, they should fund the project.”
Well said as usual, Ken. I think you should write as full and comprehensive a victim impact statement as possible — even if it’s just to hand out to the public after the civil trial — or better yet, it should be published. The far ranging scope of how one horrific criminal act has impacted your family’s lives might be difficult to fully capture — but — your superior way with words could do the job.
I think it’s vitally important for the public to understand that there isn’t one aspect of your lives that hasn’t been affected by this crime. There are many I’m sure who never stop to think about that. The damage goes far and wide — aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends,neighbors, vacations, holidays — cleaning a garage, fixing something in the house or car – simple, ordinary tasks, all left undone because of the inability of a group of young men to control their wicked rage.
And then we have Ryan — strong, courageous, brave, hard working, tenacious, smart, determined — a striking counterpoint to the malevolent and cold behavior of the perpetrators and their families. I’d rather have him on my side any day of the week — someone I am proud to know.
We’ll live in the moment, but those cretins who robbed your family of its comfort, security and happiness need to contemplate a long future of making amends. The question is, since they seem unwilling to do the right thing on their own, is our justice system capable of ensuring that they do? Lord, I hope so.
Hoping the sun’s rays warm your soul and help you remember how much you and your family are admired, cared about and loved.
Paula
Paula, You’re right! All of them, their families ,”friends” ,neighbors should know just how their vicious ,cowardly act affected so many people and their daily lives and keeps going on. We will always be here <3
Ken ,They should do both, fund and build the bridge!You have more than enough to do because of their cowardly and senseless act. When every aspect of your life as it was, has changed, has anything changed for them? I doubt it!
With you,Sue, Ryan and Kari always Good will prevail!! Hope you get some sleep. Give Ryan a big hug for me Love gail PS So glad eye is good,
You’re right. They should do both!