It was nice to see Ryan have a peaceful night. The antibiotic has the urinary tract infection in retreat. Ryan’s pulse stayed around 60 the entire time. His oxygen saturation never went below 98%. A well deserved night of rest, indeed.
I realize I’m on a rampage the past few days. I get like that
sometimes oftentimes. For good or not, it’s my nature now. I don’t deny I have every reason to feel this way. I’m entitled to it, by damned! To me, it’s better than being sad. Anger gets my sorry ass in gear. Sadness impedes me. I learned, somewhere along the way, to flip this mental switch just before the despair permanently smacks me down. I’m not sure if it holds true for others, but anger just feels less self-damaging.
It doesn’t hurt quite as much.
You know what else? I take comfort in your comments that share my anger (and grief). It lets me know I’m not alone. That my feelings are proper. That I need not feel bad about myself for thinking and feeling as I do. It’s confirmation that I still might cling to a shred of sanity. As is so often the case, you frequently express my ire better than I can even come close. Thank you for understanding and sharing my outrage.