I can’t believe I made such a monumental mistake. Well, actually, I suppose I can. It’s in my nature that when I screw-up, it’s big time. Off-the-charts. Mucho grande, por favor.
For the past two-plus years I thought I was sending out a “Thank You” to each person who helped us. Turns out, I was not. Well, not to everyone. I just discovered this two days ago. Up until then, nobody told me and I didn’t confirm I was.I was (notice the past tense here) using an application where I entered in the person’s name, mail or e-mail address, and a personal note. Each month I would hit the “mail” button and the application was suppose to either send my email or a simple thank you card to everyone on the list. I would blissfully clear the list and begin the next month anew.
The only way I discovered this is I noticed there was no charge to our credit card for those that used the postal service. Like most people, I look for erroneous charges, but not for absent charges. I’m still not even sure how this omission dawned on me. In a panic, I checked the past credit card statements. I was right to panic. It didn’t work. Not one bit. The realization hit me that I had to fix this. Fast. Then, upon further investigation, I read that the application I used only sent 10 free emails (then I paid per message after that). So, only 10 people each month received a thank you.
I spent the past two days importing every donation ever made through PayPal, going all the way back to November 2009. Thank goodness they kept a record of every transaction! Sue and I will recreate each one of those thank you notes. But, for those donations Ryan received through the mail… I’m completely screwed. If you are looking for me, I’ll be the one curled-up in the dog house.
Please, accept my sincerest apology. I might be a bastard, but I’m not an inconsiderate one. I’m just sick about this! We must have come across as unappreciative. Or entitled. Or… who knows how many other things?
I’m also sick about the fact that I probably caused Ryan not to get further donations from some people. Hey, I get it… a simple thank you would be nice, right?
I tried my best to apologize in a cutesy way, mostly to make me feel better about this. Yet, when it gets right down to it, I really screwed up and there’s no easy way for me to say it.
I’m so, so sorry.
I don’t want a thank you! You don’t have time to sleep much less send out emails AND pay for them. Save your money. Wish I could help more.
jane martellino says
Everyone feels your gratitude in all your updates. Just the way you name items given in honor of the donor. Come on… That tells volumes about how grateful your heart is!
Ann H Tearle says
Oh, Dear Ken–You are breaking my heart here. All has been expressed above already. No ‘thank you’ ever is required from you–we are just happy when we can give something Ryan needs, that hopefully helps make your and Ryan’s work just a tad simpler. I think, if you feel the urge to send me a ‘thank you’—please, instead, just give Ryan a kiss from me, and just repeat to yourself, ” That one was for Annie.” I would just love that. That would count as my ‘thank you.’ Please Dear Man, use your energies for Ryan………thoughts, prayers and love always for The Diviney Team…Yay, Ryan!!! xoxo
Ann H Tearle says
To clarify–1st sentence–not meant sarcastically. It is a sincere lament….Annie
Pittsburgh Here says
Ken- I just watched your “blue balls” :o) video, which was VERY good, by the way!!!! Please don’t sweat the small stuff. You have sooo much going on all day, every day. Keep on keeping on by taking care of what is REALLY important, and everything else will fall into place.
Ken, It feels like I spend half my life screwing up, and the other half apologizing. So if you feel the need to beat yourself up over a small error, you’ll have to get in line behind me. I echo the sentiments of many others responding to your initial posting on the subject. I absolutely do not want, need, or require a thank you. Thank you for being so willing to open up your family’s daily life and for entertaining so humorously on your blog, not to mention the incredible job you are doing advocating for and taking care of Ryan!!! I would like to say to you, “Thank YOU!” ‘nuf said!
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I would never expect a personal “thank you” from any donation made. If I choose to make a donation to Ryan, or anywhere else for that matter, I do it because I want to do it. No one twisted my arm, no one should twist yours either.
Oh Ken and Sue.
There are no thanks necessary for me. I only truly wish I could do more. I feel my help in so small compared to Ryan’s needs. Blessings to you!
john maletta says
Boy, I’m glad I read this story. When I saw the headline my first thought was, holy crap! I stop in for one night to go have a few beers with you and now you’re in the doghouse! HaHa! Seriously though, don’t sweat the thank you note stuff. I’ll send a spreadsheet to you with the Ride For Ryan donors. Simply put: We Got This, buddy!
It never dawned on me to expect a thank you card! I’m sure practically everyone is like that. We give because we care. Your blog is very gracious and your tone is unfailingly appreciative! Hope all these comments are making you feel better. Just your wanting to correct your small mistake shows us that you’re a good egg.
Ken, I think that you thank people every day…with your actions…your thoughts…and with your unique view of looking at the world around you – I, for one, have never felt unappreciated for anything I’ve sent your way – and if you would like one less letter to write – consider me thanked! It’s an priviledge to have this window into your life and to be able to share these times with you – I don’t want you to spend extra cycles thanking me for doing something that makes me feel good, I’d rather have you spend that time with Ryan – I hope your family has a wonderful Holiday.
It never occurred to me to expect a thank you card. I hate that you guys have spent time working on this and have stressed yourselves. You have more important work to be doing. I would not think anyone would expect a reply. You guys are so so so busy. You have made it clear on many occasions on this blog how grateful you for any help given. But, this is just an example of how thoughtful and caring your family is. I would like to know if there is an address that I can send Christmas cards to. I teach a classroom of special needs students and they love to make cards. Bless you.
Want to thank me? Give Ry an extra kiss on his forehead and take a little better care of yourself. That is ALL the thanks I ever need or want. I don’t want you all spending one penny that could go to Ryan sending out thank you emails. Also, look back at your blogs and FB posts… you’ve sent thanks over and over. We know that you are grateful for our support for Ryan. But heck, we love him, so it’s easy.
Gail Doyle says
Ken ,Like all said ,helping Ryan is all we care about ,not a note, Get yourself out of doghouse and continue the wonderful blogs that keep us up to date on Ryan..It’s very obvious from them how thankful you and Sue are .Always here !! Love Gail
Ken, all gifts given to you and your family are from the heart, and everyone *knows* how grateful you and Sue are!! I mean, you wouldn’t spend hours updating the blog, making videos and doing a live feed for Ryan’s stretches if you didn’t care about all your Team Diviney members!! Please don’t waste another second thinking about this. Your devotion and dedication to Ryan is our inspiration — we are grateful to *you and Sue* for allowing us to be a part of your family’s life! Your family has never come across as seeming “entitled” to anything, but I’ll say this, your family is most definitely entitled to every act of kindness, caring and generosity this wonderful community can offer. You all deserve that and then some.
Wishing you a positive day with continued strides in healing for Ryan.
Love & prayers, Paula
Umm..no. You did not stop donations from comIng because of thank you cards! Silly! Every day when you write your blog I and everyone else can read into the appreciation and love from your family. Besides, I don’t think that most people share their hearts to get a note back. It’s about trying to make a real difference in a young man and his family’s lives.
Ms. Blasé says
Ken, it’s okay. Chill. If their intentions are sincere, folks will give to Ryan regardless. I honestly believe that the vast majority of people who regularly stop by this blog just want to help and see Ryan and the whole family get better. Now, please crawl your way out of that dog house that you had no business going into to begin with 🙂
camille mcintosh says
People help because they want to and not to get recognition or praise. What your family is going through is unimaginable, I can;t even comprehend it. I was glad there was something we could do to help.
At one time or another we all need to be able to lean on others. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 Pancreatic cancer last year and the support from our neighbors and friends has been wonderful. one neighbor paid for lawn service for the entire summer, another did plumbing work for us, another electrical work.
Still here, still hoping!
Camille & Jim Mcintosh
Carla Liberty says
Agree with all of the above comments. Like the Christmas lights picture (wish I could post it here) that went viral with the house that was completely lit up and the next door neighbor’s lights simply said, “Ditto”….that’s me, DITTO!
It is in giving that we receive…… 🙂
I agree with the other comments and anyone who follows your blog and Ryan’s story would understand completely. You’re obviously one of the most sincere and grateful people around so please cut yourself a break. I’ve never expected anything but feel I’ve gotten so much from what you share here.
All of the above! Please don’t let one little technical error cause you any undue anxiety. We know that your heart and Sue’s are always in the right place, and the people who sincerely care about Ryan will never turn their backs on him. Love and hugs to all the Divineys <3
You are totally fine in this regard. If people are donating and thus expecting thank you notes, awards, or prizes for their gifts then they aren’t doing this for the right reason. If someone doesn’t understand how busy you are then they fail to realize the full scope of what you’re dealing with in this situation.
Please don’t let this oversight beat you up too long. You have, as you know, much bigger issues than some person upset that they failed to get a Hallmark thank you. I know that everyone I have dealt with recognizes how genuinely appreciative your family is for everything.
Much love always.
That’s just silly that anyone would stop their support of Ryan because you didn’t send a thank you. With everything you have on your plate, I’m sure the majority of the people never expected such a thing. When you do something from the kindness of your heart, you’re not supposed to expect anything in return. The thank yous that you express in this blog are heartfelt and sincere.
You have other things to tend to so I am sure no one thought it was rude, etc. Everyone knows how much you appreciate everything being done to help Ryan. We are thankful Ryan has such as warm caring family to love him and care for him. Don’t beat yourself up!!
Aletta Martin says
Please don’t beat yourself up about it! People help out because they want to, and don’t expect anything in return. I think it is understood that you all are very thankful for all the help you receive.