November 6th was on a Friday two years ago. I remember it well.
Sue and I sat at the kitchen table that night. We were surfing every travel website looking for the best deal for our yearly trip to Mardi Gras New Orleans. Oh, how we looked forward to this time in the Big Easy. Nights experiencing a party that stretches blocks and blocks on Bourbon Street. Day spent trying every authentic New Orleans food, from Po’ Boys to Gumbo.
By ten o’clock, Sue spun her magic and we were booked.
We went up to bed sometime just after ten o’clock. Kari come in shortly after midnight and Sue shut off her recurring fifteen minute alarm. The night went silent, still, and dark. It was a good sleep. The last good sleep we ever had.
Sue’s phone rings with the special ringtone she assigned to Ryan. It’s just after four. There’s nothing at all unusually about this. Ryan would frequently call at this time, excitedly telling her about his night. Yes, Ryan’s phone number pops up on the display… but it’s not our boy.
It’s the ICU at Ruby Memorial hospital.
We leave with only the knowledge that Ryan was found “unresponsive in a parking lot”.
Jill in Morgantown says
Still here and praying in Morgantown.
As Rita said, Ryan’s story is far from over. We will be with you on this difficult day and every day afterward. We will do the best we can to help shoulder this painful burden.
We love each of you so much. And we are never going to leave you.
Nancy Tawney says
My love and prayers to the Divineys. I have been here with you from the start and will continue to be. Even though i do not know you, I consider all of you as an extended family. We will love you through this.
We are going to love you through this! We will not let you down, ever. Much love to all of the Diviney’s~
I wish you could focus on where you are and where you are going, but the grief state won’t allow this for many years. Every day, we re-live every minute of every hour of devastating, life-changing events, and anniversaries are always the worst. I really like this quote that someone posted on Facebook: “Don’t look back, you’re not going that way.” Ryan has come a very long way in a very short time, considering the extent of his injuries. We readers and writers here have been on this journey with you as best we can through your posts. We have prayed, laughed, cried, and prayed some more, and we will continue, I assure you.
Right now, I am going to do something useful for Ryan and go to Staples and make flyers for the fundraiser on Dec. 17th. Then I am going to post a flyer on every bulletin board whose owner allows and mail them to friends who might attend. Always here and looking ahead to Ryan’s good progress. With love, hope, faith and prayers.
KERI DEZELL says
I am so sorry that you are hurting. I am so sorry that your son, as you knew him, has been taken from you. I am so sorry that the individuals that performed such a heinous act have not shown remorse or asked you, your family or Ryan for forgiveness. I am so sorry that your days and nights are endless- as you provide the utmost, meticulous care for your beautiful son, Ryan. I am so sorry for your constant heartache. I wish with all of my being that I could take this pain from all of you. Know that I and countless others will continue to support you by holding you in our hearts and in our prayers… we will continue to be by your side as long as you need, whenever you need.
May you be comforted in the knowing that we are here. Always, Forever and Until.
With love and in prayer,
Keri, My Frankie and Family
I pray so much for Ryan’s recovery. Lord, I ask again but please speed this up!
God Bless your family.
Pittsburgh Here says
Ken, Sue, Ryan, and Kari: Team Diviney is “Gonna love you through this!” (Borrowed from Martina McBride ~ but I don’t think she’d mind…)
The middle of the night call just says “You should get to the hospital immediately”, but they can’t give details because the person is over 18. Your mind races in a thousand different directions at once. You move as fast as you can, but it feels like you are moving through quicksand or something. The drive to the hospital takes an eternity, even though the speedometer is being pushed higher and higher. Except for still being haunted by those words on the other end of the phone that night, the similarities end there. Ken, what you faced upon arrival at the hospital was the worst that any parent could ever have to face. There was your child, the one you protected and nurtured all his life, was now fighting for his own life. I cannot imagine the anger that set in as you were informed how it happened….some stupid, senseless act from another person. It’s definitely okay to still grieve and be angry about it. I don’t think you should feel you have to hide your grief in front of your family though, because they feel the grief too. Have you ever told Ryan how much you grieve for him? I know you want to be the protector and strong one for your family, and that’s so admirable. But there’s no rule that says you can’t take off the strongman hat now and then, especially at a time like this.
Carla Liberty says
Offering huge AMENS to all of the posts above! Team Diviney is strong, willing, and able to help you wherever and whenever we can. This “groupie” is proud of that name and moniker. <3 you Ken, Sue, Kari, and Ryan.
The light in all this is that Ken Diviney is there every day to wrap his arms around his son and say, “it’s going to be a great day,” and Ryan knows, “I am very loved.”
Ken, Sue, Kari and Ryan, we’re with you 100% + and you can count on us for prayers, encouragement, and support as Ryan continues his recovery.
That sure is a remarkable young man you have for a son and brother. I admire him tremendously for his strength and fortitude. There are winners in life, and there are losers, and I want to be around successful people like Ryan who demonstrate extraordinary courage and tenacity. Truly a son, brother and friend to be proud of.
Team Diviney, keep standing up and being counted for our boy!!!
Still here, still praying and not going anywhere…ever
Keep the faith.
Love always, Paula
My heart goes out to you as you approach the 2 year mark of the worst day of your lives. I constantly pray for Ryan, and follow your story on this blog. So often moved in shared grief. Your family for this senseless brutality against Ryan, and mine for the loss of our son Jim who was also a student at WVU. I can only imagine your families pain. As we approach the Thanksgiving season, I want to thank you for sharing Ryan’s story, and for the many people who share a true sense of hope here. It has given me much hope throughout my journey, and I pray that it brings hope and continued healing to Ryan and your family.
Like Lori, I will never forget getting the call about Ryan.
I also wake up every morning thinking about my two away at college and check on Ryan. These past two years have gone by quickly, but looking back on some milestones it seems longer. Ryan is past his storming, your family is together living back in Ashburn, successfull fundraisers have brought the communities together, (I will never forget the day at Declutter for Diviney) your basement is set up for his care, your chick magnet has hit the road, your amazing website has taken off, you have a following of groupies (who are mostly women),
your family has become the poster family for what a good family is all about. Ryan may not be the boy you sent away to college anymore, the boy who wanted to wear a bow tie and be an independant thinker, but know that he is so much more than that. His life has made a positive impression on so many more people than he would ever have imagined. I am thinking of you on this sad weekend for your family and his friends.
Way to be positive Anna! I agree with you.
Our hearts are still breaking for you. Our love and prayers are still with you, always and forever. Stay strong, Divineys II Ryan’s story is far from over. We pray constantly for his recovery and that the journey becomes less and less painful for you. Love you all, Ken-Sue-Ryan-Kari <3
Kathryn Beggs Howlett says
Thinking about you all. Loving all of you tho’ I have never met you. Only able to imagine the emotions that must sweep over your body, heart and mind. Only able to imagine the sorrow, the unfairness, the wrongness, the grief, the pain…the anger and fear. I admire you in ways I can never express….I do not know if I could do for my child what you do for Ryan every day. I do not know if I could hold myself together to any degree. You are stronger than you know Ken. All of you are. You may not feel it, but it is true. Ryan is blessed to have you all as his family…for whatever reason, or lack of reason, that Ryan has to travel this path, he does it with your love by his side. And I believe he knows you are there. I am sorry this has happened…..very sorry. I hold you in my thoughts and prayers every day.
Lori Beebe says
Ken – I will never forget where I was when Charlie called me early Saturday morning 2 years ago to tell me what he knew so far about Ryan. I’m not sure how you will get through the next few days Ken and Sue but I know you will – just like you always do and for the same reason – for Ryan.
I wake up every morning and think and pray about 3 things – both of my boys and the Divineys. We love you and pray for your continued strength every day. I know you will make sure that tomorrow is a positive day for Ryan and he will feel your love and support, like always. Love to all of you ~ xoxo
Gail Doyle says
Ken, You and Sue are living through a parents worst nightmare ,but through both of you and the wonderful care you are giving Ryan ,I hope and pray and believe it will become a real good dream .Thinking always of you all Hugs to Ryan and you all too. love Gail