If you read my post yesterday you might recall the mention of pity sex. This seemed to prompt many to ask how Sue (my wife of 25 years) is doing. Really? This was the connection made?
I might also add, this interest seemed to only stem from women. Might I even be so bold as to predict these women are married… or at least not lesbian? This has me worried. Apparently, we men (and especially husbands) are not the sexual dynamo studs we envision ourselves. How can this possibly be true? Say it ain’t so.
To me, this new found pity sex knowledge is a game-changer. How did I go so long without picking up on it? It’s now in my arsenal of deplorable, underhanded tactics. Women might have the “honey do” list, but you must know, men have the “boink list”. It’s a mental inventory of wooing options. We would never write this list down! EVER! Just know it exists and men will carry it to their graves. You can’t even dominate this out of us (although, this just might be on the list… but you’ll never know).
One more thing before I get off my soap box (that was probably built by a man). Why do women have such a tiny window between being amorous and asleep? It’s already difficult enough without timing your circadian rhythm perfectly.
Anyhow, what can I say about Sue? I suppose, given the circumstances, she is holding up as well as possible. Like me, she has times that are rougher than others. But, it’s always rough. Every second. So, it’s all relative. Her optimism and determination are unrelenting when it comes to Ryan’s recovery. She’s truly an outstanding, loving mother to Ryan and Kari. She doesn’t deserve to see her child like this.
Although the past twenty-two months hasn’t placed an unmanageable strain on us, our relationship has changed. It many ways, for the better. For one, we mastered communication between us. Sometimes, we don’t even say a word to get our thoughts across. We learned this through exchanging information in crisis that sometimes hinged on life or death.
Still, you might see how not having any privacy can put a damper on intimacy. It’s just another element stolen from us by these thugs. For those who are about ready to tell me this is not healthy for us I can only tell you that I know. It’s not like we want this. We didn’t ask for it. We didn’t plan for it. Neither Sue nor I will leave him without the other there. It’s a mutual decision and we’ve accepted this as our lives and marriage. We are parents before we are spouses (or anything else, for that matter). Although it is a painful existence to live this way (especially in the testicles), I admire Sue for this.
I hope she feels the same about me.
[poll id=”22″] See previous poll answers here.
- Pity Party: Table for One, Please. (ryansrally.org)
- French Man Forced to Pay Ex-Wife a Settlement for Lack of Sex (newsfeed.time.com)
Ms. Blasé says
Actually, I thought the pity sex bit of the former post was quite comical. As a matter of fact, I relayed the joke to my mother who also laughed. (Now that I think about it, though, she probably laughed for a totally different reason since she’s married and I’m not, but I digress.) In the end, I think the previous post demonstrated that even during your most difficult moments, you still have a knack to see the brighter side of things… even if slightly perverse 🙂 Whatever you do, Ken, please, don’t lose your sense of humor.
Also, I’m glad to hear that your bride is doing well and hanging strong in the face of such challenges. You two are fortunate to have each other.
Vicky Scott says
Me thinks you assume way too much.
First, when ever my eye perceives that your writings are going into the double entendre mode, I immediately skip to the more relevant stuff; such as what is going on with Ryan and since we rarely hear about Sue, and since she is carrying on a job and walking the same path, I am sure many of us, women or men, genuinely wonder how she, too is doing, and since you rarely mention her, we ask!
I certainly understand the relationship change. I read about it daily in other TBI family as well. Many marriages don’t make it, but thankfully, the ones I read about have, with much struggle and sacrifice and realizing that the relationship will and can never be the same.
Vicky Scott says
Oh, My. I am not sure what I said to garner three thumbs down, but my intentions were not to offend anyone. I will just read updates from here on out, continue praying, and keep my fingers off the keys.
Please forgive the offense.
Hi Vicky, you should always feel free to post your thoughts!! I get thumbs down on a regular basis, but I don’t let it stop me from saying what’s in my heart, and you shouldn’t either!! Please don’t not post, because your opinion is valuable!!! Love, Paula