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You are here: Home / News / Looking Back: One Year Ago

Looking Back: One Year Ago

July 11, 2011 by Ryan's Rally LLC 10 Comments

Last year on this day Ryan’s life was in peril. He was in the ICU at Morristown Memorial hospital. I remember talking to the prosecuting attorney about the possibility of pushing back the trial because the charges might well become murder. We decided to see what happened over the next 24 to 48 hours. That night, Ryan turned the corner and began recovering. What a relief.

So, the next day — our wedding anniversary — I left for West Virginia to attend the trial when Sue returned from work. We spent no more than 5 minutes together (Yes, I know, there’s a joke in there somewhere… like what I did with the extra 3 minutes). For us, it was just another ruined day in over 8 months of ruined days.

Last July 11. Ryan in ICU.

I remember leaving Ryan in every detail. I had to tear myself away from him and the only reason I could was I knew he would want me at the trial… in his place. It was surreal walking away from his room. A few times I actually stopped and turned to go back. I even sat in the car debating if leaving was the right thing to do. Finally, I threw it in gear and pulled from the parking garage. All the while keeping the hospital in my rear-view mirror for as long as possible.

The drive was emotionally devastating. A real cryFest, as it were. Mostly because it was a period of privacy that allowed me to vocalize my thoughts. Something that was all but stolen from my life. Out loud, I cursed Jonathan May and Austin Vantrease (and their parents, for that matter) for ever being born. I did. I found myself speaking to them directly, as if I were somehow able to beam my thoughts and words to them. I leaned on the hope of justice since taking matters into my own hands would not be right. Still, it was a fantasy that was comforting. But, fantasies are just that, unimaginable actions without repercussions. Something that one would never do given the reality of consequences. Still, it helped me grieve. As evil as it felt, I simply couldn’t stop.

Nor did I really want to stop.

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Filed Under: News

Comments

  1. Colleen says

    July 11, 2011 at 9:30 PM

    So….how’s Ryan doing one year later. We’re all grateful that’s he’s still here, still fighting and still being so loved by so many. You are almost married 25 years, that’s certainly a major accomplishment. You are to be commended on that and I’m sure Sue still thinks you’re a keeper!!
    How is progress with IBRF. There were tests being done? Any new strategies or updates on that? You’re a great Dad and all the struggles you are facing, you are not facing alone. It may seem like that some times, but along with every step you take on a daily basis, we are always there with you. You’ll never walk alone. You have to celebrate your wonderful family.

    Reply
  2. Jo Hobbs says

    July 11, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    God is with us, and He cares for you. “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:38-39

    Reply
  3. Anna Welsh says

    July 11, 2011 at 11:45 AM

    Ken, prayers to you and yours! I said it before those two thugs and their parents owe you their lives! They should thank you everyday they are not in jail for murder. How dare they ignore the court ordered restitution. Shame on them! Hugs to you, Sue and Kari.

    Reply
  4. Gail Doyle says

    July 11, 2011 at 10:52 AM

    Ken ,Praying this year will bring you peace and the healing of Ryan ..Always here ,never leaving love Gail

    Reply
  5. Ms. Blasé says

    July 11, 2011 at 10:06 AM

    Personally, I’m looking forward to the ultimate “revenge” in this situation: Ryan’s complete recovery.

    Reply
    • Jo Hobbs says

      July 11, 2011 at 2:44 PM

      I like this!! Now I can wrap my head around this, Ms. Blase. I am looking ahead for Ryan’s sake–not looking back–ever! God answers prayers, and He is in the process, and we must have hope and faith. Please keep praying. Amen.

      Reply
  6. KERI DEZELL says

    July 11, 2011 at 9:02 AM

    May GOD Bless each member of the Diviney family, with special emphasis on your Ryan.

    May you feel GOD’s loving arms around you.

    May you be comforted in the knowing, that you’re being loved & cared for in person, online, and in prayer over & over & again.

    May you find peace within your heart… and knowing that this is no “easy feat” for you and you alone, may OUR prayers help peace find its way to you.

    May Ryan feel the love we have for him TENFOLD.

    May all good words, good thoughts and genuine prayer being said on behalf of Ryan, Ken, Sue or Kari Diviney be heard by our GOD.

    Still here, Always here, Forever… and UNTIL ,

    In love and in prayer,
    Keri, My Frankie and Family

    Reply
  7. Paula says

    July 11, 2011 at 8:59 AM

    Hello Ken,

    This picture of Ryan is — unreal….I can only sit here and shake my head thinking about all the trauma each member of your family has been through.

    You made it through each day for your son, daughter, wife. Riding a merry go round of sadness, anger, fear, hurt, anxiety, grief … it is quite something to witness the many, many heart wrenching days your family has gone through and survived. Very strong, tenacious, determined people.

    Thank the Lord Ryan has all those qualities in him — the fortitude and the fight to keep pressing on and overcoming. Like father, like son. Never giving up. Which is why Ryan looks so good today, defying defeat and progressing every day. Remarkable young man in a family that continues to push through the pain and do what has to be done.

    Thank you for letting us be a part of your lives. Our support of you, Ryan, Kari and Sue remains steadfast. Sending love, hugs, hope and prayers…Paula

    Reply
  8. Dianne says

    July 11, 2011 at 8:48 AM

    My heart goes out to you, Ken, as well as my constant prayers. Ryan is grateful for all you do for him and one day he will thank you. We are all grateful for what you do each and every day for ‘our boy’. Hugs to you & Ryan. SHSP, NGA!

    Reply
  9. Carla Liberty says

    July 11, 2011 at 8:43 AM

    Ken,

    Your raw emotion of that day (and every day for that matter) is a true testament to what a wonderful parent you are. I can’t fathom the anguish you must’ve felt tearing yourself away from that hospital room knowing Ryan was there fighting for his life. But I can fathom, as a parent, knowing that you were doing what Ryan would’ve wanted you to do. What Ryan couldn’t do. One day Ryan will thank you for that. Of this I am certain. Still here, NGA.

    carla

    Reply

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