Last week I came across an interesting article on cnn.com. It is titled How to Respond to Online Haters. It’s a comprehensive article that involves more than blogs. It talks about Facebook, Tweeter, and so on.
I need to tell you, I read it with a great deal of interest because it rings entirely true. It’s about those trolls that pop in-and-out looking to cause a reaction by making vengeful comments or by simply choosing a “thumbs down” on others comments.
The article validated what I thought all along. These are individuals who are:
- wanting to cause a reaction,
- jealous they don’t have a popular social platform,
- hide in the shadows (probably behind a dumpster too),
- using the success of another’s blog to make their point, and
- crying to be noticed, they crave attention.
Take a second to look at those five points again. I’ll wait.
Well? What do you think?
First, their “opinions” carry zero weight with me. I know the truth. Further, do they really believe they will sway anyone’s opinion? It’s crazy when their comments are often longer than my post. The courtroom was packed with people and media. They know the truth too, and are not shy about sharing it. Really, if push comes to shove, anyone can buy the trial and sentencing transcripts.
Second, I’m not inclined to block these people. Why? Simple. The blogs explodes with activity when they enter they conversation. Beyond this, I can feel the loyalty of readers strengthening. Think about it, the most commented post I ever put out was Austin Vantrease Request: Denied. It had very little to do with my actual post, and almost everything to do with an inappropriate comment. So, yes, it’s good to know how to deal with haters… but never become one.
Don’t get me wrong, I will never understand why they are mean to a victim, his family, and his supporters. Dr. Diane Hamilton (see related article below) describes it as a lack of “Emotional Intelligence”. Really, most people just don’t think that way (do they?). I’d be willing to wager it’s not as personal as I might think. I suppose they are like this with everyone in the world.
Just my take on this, but I believe they hate because others are loved.
- The Haters: Three Ways to Nuke a Hater (socyberty.com)
- Generation of Haters Hiding Behind Social Media Anonymity (drdianehamilton.wordpress.com)
You are a fine young man. Thank you for your post of loving support. It means so much to many. You are the kind of person that real men are made of, and I’m certain you will do very well in life. All the best to you at ECU and beyond!
Thanks Mike for your post! It is always nice to hear a supportive voice from the state of Delaware. It just reinforces that what these two thugs did was not as Austins mother said, “boys being boys”. Your parents should be proud of you!
Gail Doyle says
I Agree ,Thanks Mike
Hello Diviney family, my name is Michael I am going to be a junior at East Carolina University and I just wanted to leave my support. I went to high school in Delaware, actually the rival high school of Jon May. During my time there i heard how thug Jon and Austin were and how they liked to fight and it seemed as though they thought they were God’s gift to mankind.
A fight is between two people, this was not. I pray that your son heals and that these two take responsibility for what they have done. I sympathize with all the innocent people being dragged into this and all i hope is that your son is one day able to do the normal things myself and everyone else takes for granted everyday. Good luck and may God watch over your family and Ryan.
Yep, I think those 5 points are right on the money. (Kudos to the CNN writer!) And aren’t you glad your family is among the beloved?
P.S. I want to see Carla in her sexy eye patch 😉
I just consider the intellect of those people and ignore them. I guess some people just enjoy hurting other people. They are like a virus. Shame there is no antivirus for them.
Hey everybody!! I just found this link (below) on Ken’s news feed on the blog!! It’s a list of things that Ryan needs — I know many people have been asking about how they can help Ryan — and now we have a way!! Thank you, Ken, for setting this up and making it easier for us to help Ryan!!!!!
Jo Hobbs says
What a wonderful idea, Ken! Thank you, Paula, for bringing our attention to this. Always here.
Grey Hubler says
100 percent correct.
Gail Doyle says
Ken I believe all the reasons ,mostly to get a reaction.You have handled it well and who gives a dam what they say or think. We are all here to follow Ryan’s progress and all that goes with you guys , Thanks again for your blogs .Thoughts and prayers for you all…Hugs for Ryan. Love Gail
John Maletta says
Gail, I wanted to let you know that I received your donation for the Ride For Ryan bike trip fundraiser today. I’ll be forwarding the latest batch of checks (including yours) to Ken this week. Thank you for helping Ryan! Many blessings to you!
Gail Doyle says
John, Wish I could do more.Have a great bike ride,That’s so great of you guys!!,
Hello, i was just browsing the internet and i came by Ryan’s video on the today show. I almost cry watching what had happened to him. My younger brother was beaten by 3 guys too, but thankfully nothing major happened. Just bruises. I just wish Ryan gets all the help he needs so he can be the guy he was before….i will pray for him, i’ll have him in my mind always, and from my heart i tell you how much i admire your strength to keep going on this hardship. I know Ryan will be the guy he was before.
Ms. Blasé says
“…I believe they hate because others are loved.”
I’ll add to that statement by saying that some people hate because, secretly, they hate themselves.
And that is the truth — thank you for that reminder!!
Bryan (man of few words) says
Still Here Ken!!!!!!!!!
Carla Liberty says
Ken, pls forgive any abbreviations or misspellings as I am on my blackberry and only have one “good” eye with which to see.(Had emerg surg yesterday for a detached retina). Anyway I wanted to tell you that you and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers. Its gotten to the point that my extended family, friends, and coworkers ask about you all the time because I am always talking about Ryan
I hope that today is an easier day for you, but then again in your situation I know that there are NO easy days. May you feel the love of those around you. Still here, NGA.
Carla, you do better on your BlackBerry with only one good eye than I do with two!
I’ve always thought there was something especially brave about you in allowing our “adversaries” to post. Especially given the horrendous nature of the crimes committed against Ryan. You’re a stronger person than me, I’m not sure if I could do it.
But you’re right — it’s a great way to get a dialogue going here, because — anyone says anything inane, antagonistic, or ugly towards our boy or his family is going to get it. No, not with fists, because we are not uncivilized, cowardly barbarians who commit criminal acts against innocent people. Those kinds of morally compromised reprobates wind up in jail, just where they belong. Oh, they may get out of jail, but when a person does something so heinous and never strives to make it right with the person they attacked — it follows them every step of their lives.
Wow. I guess it’s my day to feel angry about what happened to Ryan. But it’s not the trolls that get to me. They are not worthy of my thoughts until they make genuine efforts to make retributions to Ryan and to your family.
What affects me is the inordinate tenacity of Ryan. He is one strong young man. Yes, he’s made of the right stuff, and the kind of young man people want to know more about — how he’s doing, how they can help — and to see what a champion looks like.