The monthly anniversary of Ryan’s attack usually brings sadness. I hate the seventh of each month. Hate it! Yes, I am sad. Yet that’s not my overriding emotion. Today I am full-blown angry. Angry as hell. No kidding, I can practically hear it pulsating through my veins. I’ll be saying “Fuddrucker” on and off all day, for sure.For my money (tongue-in-cheek), I’ll take an anger over heartache and despair any day. Anger has a motivating quality… at least for me. This day is in complete focus. I sometimes call these my HD (High Definition) Days. This is a time when acuity is better than real life. You know, like watching the National Geographic or Discovery Channel in 1080p, with surround sound.
Please grant me the need to remind all who got us here. Namely, Austin Vantrease and Jonathan May (both of Newark, DE). Two thugs, among a gang of thugs, out looking for a fight. And, when they couldn’t get Ryan and his friends to engage, they ran them down. May punches Ryan in the jaw when Ryan was not looking. Meanwhile, Vantrease is doing the same to Ryan’s roommate. Then Vantrease winds up and kicks Ryan so violently that an independent witness describe at is “he punted his head”.
Please, take a few minutes to study the photo above. It is from the video surveillance camera just seconds before Ryan is beaten. Ryan is on the extreme left, wearing a white semi-formal button down shirt. His arms are out in a gesture of non-violence, backpedaling (at a high rate of speed) from the aggression. There are at least three attackers, all dressed in baggy clothes (ghetto) going after him. Vantrease is wearing the silly stripped shirt (with a lot of bling). May and Colin McKeefery are behind Vantrease in pursuit. The video was painful to watch.
I still have nightmares about it. This part of the dream is ALWAYS in black-and-white.
- 18 Months (ryansrally.org)
Jon May tracked Brian down outside of the courtroom last summer and made an attempt at an apology. He followed up by writing to Brian shortly after the hearing. I had hoped that what Jon May had to say was a sincere and remorseful effort to correct a wrong for which he felt responsible. One has to wonder though Jon…did you really mean what you had to say to Brian? You see, your words don’t seem to hold so much validity without an effort to mend things with the Divineys. Your actions that dreadful night affected a lot of people, most of all the Divineys, but others too. Oh, your lawyer was a very good one. He knew just what to say, how to say it, who to put on the stand, and when to pull back. At one point he realized it wasn’t going to be a very smart move to put your buddy Colin on the stand because he would likely only hurt your chances before the jury. I try not to judge, but it is hard when the actions don’t match the words. I too had a difficult time watching that video and seeing my son, whom I care about deeply, knocked unconscious by your friend, Mr. Vantrese, and left lying there badly injured. Seeing that was bad enough…I don’t possibly think I could bear to watch what happened to Ryan. I wonder if and how any of the scene that night plays out in your mind? Maybe you don’t see things the same way, maybe you do…hard for us to know. It would seem that by now there would have been a gesture, at least in some form of financial support to help carry the Divineys through their nightmare, don’t you think? It seems to make perfect sense to me. I suppose today is my angry day too Ken.
Sue, Ken and Kari, Our love, thoughts and prayers are there for you every single day. Continue to stay strong as we patiently await Ryan’s healing. Much Love being sent your way. Hugs to all of you. Peggie
Love & prayers to you & your family too, Peggy.
The Colangelis says
I am sorry we are now at 19 months from the night Ryan was beaten. We continue praying for him and will not give up.
Miranda Yocom says
Hiya Mr. Ken, I hope you are well today—I am sorry, that must be a silly thing for me to say given the situation, so I might skip the formalities and say that I hope you are hanging in there. School is almost over for me, and I can never pay attention to all the movies we watch…I end up thinking of Ry! It frustrates me that there is nothing I can do about May and Vantrease, and I wish Team Diviney had all the money in the world to get the best lawyer ever >:( Don’t worry Mr. Ken, we are all upset with you, and if there is any time when strength in numbers matters, I think that is now. I love you, Ry, Ms. Sue, and Kari so much, and I’m gonna pray for you guys like I always do. And of course…I’m still here, even if I did not write to say hello for a million years I would still be here reading your blog and ready to do anything I can to help you guys 🙂 God bless, only 1 hour and 55 minutes until the 7th of June is over, let’s go get Ryan all better and kick some butt <3 Xoxo
Miranda Yocom says
Oh dear, I meant “upset with you” as in upset at the same time as you Mr. Ken, I was so upset at the same time as you that I did not check my grammar! @w@ Love you guys, SHSP <3
I was hoping that was what you meant 🙂
We’re all upset right along with you!! 🙂
B. Smith says
May God Bless and comfort you.
Like I told you and Sue both the other night, I will always remain here, praying and walking this walk with your family. I remain SHSP. Much love~
Hi Ken, thanks for opening the “store!!” This will make it much easiesr for all of us to use!! This blog/website is getting more amazing by the day — thanks!! Paula
Ken, Sue and Kari, Heartbreaking to again hear of your pain. I completely understand your anger, and have no idea how painful your ache for Ryan to wake up is. I do pray that one day he will come back to us. I am glad that you have the news scrolling at the top of the website that reminds everyone that Jon May, sorry as he is, has made NO attempt to help with your finances and pay the court ordered restitution. Even if he sends something each month that would at least show the prison time he spent had some effect on him. His wages can be attached, but that does not show remorse or reform. Sadly, his parents were able to “buy his freedom” and probably once again get him out of trouble. Too bad for him he probably has not seen the last of the prison system, his kind and their parents never change! Mr and Mrs May, its called responsibility for one’s actions. This idea started way back with Eve in the Garden of Eden.
Hahaha. You always seem to bring out the “thumbs down”. Eh, just let’s me know certain people are watching (in the shadows, likely behind a dumpster).
I find it sooooooooooooo sad that they(you know who I mean) take the time to read about Ryan but can’t be bothered to help with his medical expenses. Stay off of this blog you misfits!
Lisa Svendsen says
Dear Ken: We love you and pray for you daily. Your anger is a real raw emotion. You don’t use it to go “kick the dog” as they say. Your anger is consistently directed into being Ryan’s biggest advocate. If I ever needed someone advocating for me, I would pick you in a heartbeat. You’re still my hero. Father’s Day is coming. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Gail Doyle says
Ken ,Thinking of you all on this day each month and every day too. Hoping someday your nightmares will end , and I will always say you have the RIGHT to whatever feelings come to you at any given time .Just pray someday when Ryan is healed you will be too. Always here NGA!!!!
Jo Hobbs says
Always here with hope, faith, love and prayers.
The depth of your family’s pain is beyond what any of us can imagine, and yet you are able to express your emotions so vividly — that’s a gift. We once had a family therapist who said he’d much rather have an angry person to work with than a depressed one, so in a way your anger is a gift too, especially since you are able to channel it in positive ways. We pray that as Ryan continues to heal and awaken, that anger will be overshadowed by even more positive emotions. Our hearts go out to you and your family today, as always.
Always in my thoughts.
Thinking of you.
Ken & Sue, we only wish there was something to ease your pain each month when this day rolls around. Thinking of you always!
Both of the above referenced miscreants have robbed your family of many, many precious things. But AV and JM are still the big losers in the larger scheme of things. They both have horrible reputations that will follow them for the rest of their lives. Neither of them has a moral compass, being as there has been no apology, no reparations, no consideration at all for your family. And when a person lacks a moral compass — nothing good can come from it.
Ryan, on the other hand, is a young man of intregity, courage, dignity, intelligence and is a conquerer. He is a hero to me, and to many others who have never even met him. I am in awe of his tenacity and honored to know him. They hurt Ryan physically, but they could never take away his spirit; his soul shines!! All they did was wreck their own, and they have much to account for.
Dear Ken, from all of us, thank you for this blog. You may not realize the huge impact your words have on the lives of many us — but you do. I’ve often pondered on how good you would be at writing a “Dear Ken” column. Don’t laugh, I’m serious!!!
Hugs, love & prayers…still here, always will be…Paula
Gail Doyle says
Right on Paula!!!!
Ms. Blasé says
You being able to harness the power of your anger and convert it into extreme focus is amazing. That said, I hope that you won’t forget to focus on all of us here today who are constantly thinking, praying and wanting nothing but the best for you, Ryan, Sue, and Kari (and Duke).
Thinking of you today like I do every day!!