Ryan’s optometrist, Dr. Hinkle, came by the house today to give Ryan’s eyes an exam. It’s been just roughly two weeks since the last time he stopped in. The clinical examination was his left eye is at least the same, and likely improved. The right eye has a new abrasion, albeit superficial.The plan of care is to maintain the current lubricant schedule on the left eye (every four hours) and double the schedule on the right eye (every two hours), switching between an over-the-counter lubricant and an antibiotic lubricant.
I guess, sometimes, I might wear my emotions on my sleeve. But, I believe Dr. Hinkle has the compassion to see into a person’s feelings. After hearing about the abrasion, I was feeling down. At the same time, I wonder what I’m missing. Why can’t I solve this ongoing issue? Dr. Hinkle caught me a bit off-guard when he looked (into) at me and ask “Are you okay?”.
I was not okay. I was not even close to okay. I told him “it just seems like I can never get ahead of anything”. It’s true too. I’m always chasing. Always in the dust. Never able to overtake. Forever in some ailment’s mother effing rear-view mirror.
So, I’ll do what I always do. I’ll do what I need to do. I have no choice, really.
I’ll lean into the problem.
Ken, you are so right….Dr. Hinkle has compassion beyond measure! Not a doubt in my mind God placed him in Ryan’s path. There is also not a doubt in my mind that God is working through you as well Ken, keep pressing on!
I agree you are doing alot for Ryan. Hang in there!
Dear Ken., Sounds like you ARE doing everything you can humanly possibly do for Ryan , you have to give yourself some credit…and when you feel down you have every right to..Whether you pray to God or not , HE sees all you re doing for Ryan and will help you get through this.. Praying eye abrasion heals quickly Gail
Ken, you *are* overtaking, you *are* on top of it, and you are not just succeeding but excelling!! The rest of us are behind you, helping however we can, but you’re the leader — you’re the one getting everything done for Ryan. Dr. Hinkle is a very smart man, he recognizes the standards you put on yourself, and knows they are higher than most people can reach, but somehow you always manage to do it. You are farther ahead than you realize, and Ryan’s strength and good health are a testament to that. Everyone can see it. What you have managed to learn and do for your son in the past year and a half is beyond impressive. Because of your fortitude, intelligence and tenacity, Ryan has continued to recover. I think it’s harder for you to see the magnitude of everything you’ve done, because you’re in the middle of it. The rest of us can see and appreciate the enormity of what you’ve accomplished. Own it, Ken, cuz it’s the truth.
Ken,
We are 3 months short of 4 years into this and I still feel the same way. I would love to be able to just give you a huge hug and lots of pats on the back. Praying.
I know you have your wife and daughter to lean on and love and be supported by, but I can only imagine that sometimes it must seem like a long, lonely road you are on. One step at a time. There are no magic words or way to make this any easier. But, you have the strongest rock of all to lean on: love. Some days though, instead of leaning upright, you may have to sit down, and thats OK. You love your son, and he loves you and you will continue, one step at a time.
I just thank God that the abrasion isn’t worse! It can happen so fast and go too far in a hurry, as I am sure Dr. Hinkle told you. The med. should clear it up. And thank you, God, for a doctor like Ryan’s who is just right on top of this! Still here, and praying for you, Ken, along with my prayers for Ryan. I am sure you are praying right along with us, even if you don’t know it! Prayers are not always words, Ken; sometimes prayers get God’s attention by our acts, and I’d say you are getting lots of His attention by caring for your son (not to mention us!). Love and never-ending hope and prayers.