Ryan’s optometrist, Dr. Hinkle, came by the house today to give Ryan’s eyes an exam. It’s been just roughly two weeks since the last time he stopped in. The clinical examination was his left eye is at least the same, and likely improved. The right eye has a new abrasion, albeit superficial.The plan of care is to maintain the current lubricant schedule on the left eye (every four hours) and double the schedule on the right eye (every two hours), switching between an over-the-counter lubricant and an antibiotic lubricant.
I guess, sometimes, I might wear my emotions on my sleeve. But, I believe Dr. Hinkle has the compassion to see into a person’s feelings. After hearing about the abrasion, I was feeling down. At the same time, I wonder what I’m missing. Why can’t I solve this ongoing issue? Dr. Hinkle caught me a bit off-guard when he looked (into) at me and ask “Are you okay?”.
I was not okay. I was not even close to okay. I told him “it just seems like I can never get ahead of anything”. It’s true too. I’m always chasing. Always in the dust. Never able to overtake. Forever in some ailment’s mother effing rear-view mirror.
So, I’ll do what I always do. I’ll do what I need to do. I have no choice, really.
I’ll lean into the problem.