Phew! I made it through yesterday.
Believe me, I don’t want to feel the way I do each 7th. I continue to look for ways to cope. No matter, I push through it. Really, do I have a choice?I still contend what I deal with each month is rooted at the cellular level. It’s biological. I suppose I could take a heavy-duty Valium. The fog of reality, in some ways, would be blissful. Yet, this would do nothing more than defer the emotions.
I know I let out some venom yesterday. You must believe me when I tell you it was nothing like I had written the day before. I was so angry that I couldn’t see straight. Granted, everything I wrote (and then deleted) was true, but it was only self-serving.
As for the ever-evasive MRI… looks like we are on for next week. It’ll be nice to get this behind us. We’ll need to get Ryan all the way to Baltimore. The logistics are staggering because of the time and distance. Everything must be planned for. Right down to how much water we need to take. I liken it to a NASA mission. Maybe I should take Tang?
Later today we will be on a Skype video-conference with IBRF. This will be a bit more tricky since Sue is in New York on business. I’ll just leave it up to the doctor team to do the 3-way conference. Anyhow, the purpose of the call is to continue refining Ryan’s plan-of-care.
For everyone who has emailed, messaged, texted, etc. me over the past several days… I’m sorry. I have been in such a snit that I really haven’t checked incoming messages. I will do my best to get to them, but it sometimes is overwhelming. Every now and then I just have to accept that I’ll miss some and move on.
Okay. Time to get stripped down to my underwear and light-up a cigar.
Ken, I think you are coping beautifully….I knew you would rebound, because that is who you are. Yes, the sad truth is that all of it is true, but the real truth is that in the end, you will not let it defeat you. If you need to vent each month on the 7th, that’s what we are here for. No need to hold back. We’ll support you each and every time when you need us. We all love and care about what’s not only happening with Ryan, but you Sue and Kari too. One day at a time…..A better day today.
Ken, your angels here in Baltimore stand ready to help. Please let us know what you need once you are here….food, water, supplies, a hug, some hand holding, whatever it is, please let me know. Hopkins is only minutes away should you need me to meet you to bring whatever you and Ryan might need. You can go through Brian if you need to reach me. Good to know things are moving in the right direction with IBRF. Safe travels.
Love, Peggie
Mamma always said there would be days like this. No worries my friend, vent away that’s one of the reasons we’re here. I’m glad the MRI is happening, forward motion is good. Take care have a good night.
Tang…lol
Dear Ken, You have a right to feel whatever way you do on the 7th. No one can tell you what or how to feel. I do pray that someway you will start healing too (not forgiveness),but able to feel less pain? SO glad Ryan is getting the MRI. Is it a long ride to Hopkins? Have been there ,but don’t know how far you are….Hope all goes well and please let us know. Thinking and praying all works out for you ,,,,,the trip and the test. God bless. L Gail
Hey all a person can do is take one day at a time and everyone deals with things in different ways. I am glad that Ryan is getting to go to Baltimore to get the MRI. May God Bless you all. I will continue to Pray and Support You all Each and Everyday!
LOL!! Don’t change, Ken — we love ya just the way you are!!! Give us a shout with any help you might need for your trip to Johns Hopkins. Tang, skittles, , we’ll help however we can. Hoping you and Ryan enjoy a good day together, and praying for Sue to have a successful trip and safe journey home. Love you guys!!
I assume you boys have the movies you need for the cigar smoking!
Good one Anna….That’s just what I was thinking! LOL
One day at a time
So glad you have moving-forward-with-Ryan’s-care details to focus on today since his future is so much more uplifting to consider than the past. Have a good session with the IBRF and we’ll pray that everything falls into place for Ryan’s MRI at Hopkins.
P.S. You never need to apologize for coping however you can. I’m sure it’s a lot healthier for you to release that venom each month rather than keeping it in.