Last week, I had a text exchange with a long time friend of Ryan’s, Katie Mesmer. Katie’s father, Marty, died earlier this month. As we were texting, I became an emotional wreck. Not just for what I’m going through, but for her and her family.
I was, once again, reminded of the excellent choices my children made with who they associated with. They surround themselves with quality friends. People of high moral character.
I must have read this text fifty times. It’s funny how things continue to influence our lives long after the occurrence. Weird though, we never seem to grasp the significance when it is happening.
Katie: I miss [my dad] 🙁
Me: It’s the most intense human emotion… missing a loved one. At least that’s how I think.
Katie: It is 🙁 Missing someone isn’t about how long it’s been since you’ve seen them last or the amount of time since you’ve talked. It’s about that very moment when you’re doing something, and you wish that they were right there with you 🙁 I have a feeling it’s going to be very hard not to wish he was there every second.
Me: Well said.
Katie: I miss Ryan. He helped me so much when [my dad] first got sick when I was in 7th grade 🙁 He’d call me every night 🙁
Me: I miss Ryan too. You now know the heartache and despair I feel. I wish you didn’t.
Katie: How is he doing? I read the post you put about me and my dad. Cried for 45 minutes. The nicest thing ever… and my dad was really proud of me. He loved Ryan so much. Thought the world of him. How funny he was and how much he knew about sports. I know a piece of the heartache. I don’t think anyone will feel the pain you do… which I wish, more than anything, you didn’t have to feel.
Me: Ryan loved your dad too. Hang in there, Princess Katie.
Katie: Haha. Love you. You hang in there too.
Then, I cried…
Ken
This was a very sad thing to read. I lost my Dad 10 yrs ago he was 57 yrs old, passed away due to Heart Attack. I know how it is to lose a loved one. And i know what she means when she said it hurts not having Ryan to comfort her with talking and just giving support. I know its hard to not have someone there for you when you need them. And for Ryan theres not a Day goes by that I dont Pray that God make a Miracle out of Ryan and thats My Hearts Desire that Ryan will be a Miracle. God Bless
Dear Katie,
I’m really sorry for the loss of your dad. It sounds as though many waking moments were spent with him…..loving, laughing, growing, supporting. My tears are the only things I have to offer you, and although you don’t see them, know that I’m praying you’ll cherish the wonderful times you and your dad shared. He’ll be close to you always, right there in your heart, so wherever you wander, may his presence be felt. Put your hand on your heart and feel yourself living life as he would want you to do. You WILL see him again, for all eternity! Cry your tears too, and let others see the loving gift you offer. You were blessed to have a great dad!
I thought it was just me feeling that way about Katie.
I guess that it is also for you as it is for me…….especially hard to see a young girl whom we care very much for l0se their daddy at so young an age.
My heart aches for Katie, for her family, and for you and yours, Ken. Not a ten minute stretch goes by where I’m not thinking of and/or praying for all of you. Ryan and Katie are special friends to my daughter, and I ache at the pain that they – and all of you – are enduring. Like you so eloquently said in your interviews, “Ryan is made of the right stuff.” And so is Katie.
One of my favorite memories of Marty Mesmer was when he dropped off Katie at my for one of my daughter’s get-togethers. Being New England fans, Marty and my husband hit it off as they enjoyed discussing the Red Sox, Patriots and Celtics. Marty passed that love of all things New England to Katie, and she and my daughter enjoy talking Red Sox /Patriots as a result. In fact, they had been discussing stats, etc. long before their fathers met 🙂
Prayers and love being sent today, and always.
Carla
Ken, I read your post every day and feel the pain that you’re going through.
Just know that lots and lots of people are praying for Ryan and your family. I know exactly how you’re feeling because of my little nephew, Matthew.
I’ll keep you all in my prayers.
Remember to take care of yourself
Bonnie
You’re right, Ken — Katie has a beautiful soul. I’m glad you and your family are there for her … because, we just can’t make this journey without the people we love and who love us. Love you Ken, Sue, Kari, Ryan and Katie…
What a blessing it is to comfort one another in the midst of our own pain and suffering. We are so glad you have friends like the Mesmers to walk beside you, and vice versa. It’s good to share happy memories even while you’re grieving, as you and Katie did. She sounds wise beyond her years… Hugs and prayers to Miss Katie and her family as well as yours, Ken <3
So touching, I’m in tears. Sending love to the Divineys and Mesmers <3
Reading this, I’m sad and joyful all at the same time! How can this be? Sad for those who have lost someone dear to their heart; joyful to know that they are with God. And overjoyed to know you, Katie and all the folks I’ve met here. I share the grief of all whose loved ones are gone to be with God, but it helps me to remember Steven Covey’s words, “We are spiritual beings on a human journey; not human beings on a spiritual journey.” Our spirit belongs to God. We are here for a short time, and then we return to Him. Always here.