Daylight Savings Time. Just another reminder that I live in the moment. Another clue that I have little that marks time. Everyday is basically the same on the macro level. To me, time is probably as irrelevant as it could be to a person.
I’m not sure I would have caught the switch to DST until, perhaps, when I greeted the nurse the following evening. Surely the daylight would have caught my attention. Then again, maybe not.
It’s not like before, when I had to go around and set all the clocks manually. For us, they just do it on their own.
You know how I learned of the time change? Exactly two hours before it became official the nurse brought it up. Really, it took me a good fifteen minutes to accept that this is true.
I think about my “past life”. A life that had so many events that marked time. There were Tuesday staff meetings, monthly Board meetings, weekends off, my exercise ritual, summer vacations, and so on. Now, days run into each other and smear together. It’s like a jigsaw puzzle dumped in a heap on the table. You recognize some of the pieces and have a rough idea where they fit… if you ever decided to put it together.
For me, days, weeks, and months are indistinguishable. One-in-the-same in some sort of freakish, earthly hell. Seasons come and go hardly without notice. Months marking the anniversary of Ryan’s beating come, smack me down, and leave. I see them coming, but once done they fade quickly.
Yep. I live in the moment. It’s how I cope. Never look back. Never anticipate. Here and now… always here and now.