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"I tell him I tried. I tried to keep memory alive; I tried to fight those who would forget. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. There is so much injustice & suffering crying out for our attention. We must take sides. We must interfere. -E.W.

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Happy Birthday, Big Brother!

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Happy birthday to my incredibly strong and amazing big brother.

Ryan and Kari on his 25th birthday.

Ryan and Kari on his 25th birthday.

You were attacked when you were 20 and today is your 25th birthday. Your will to live inspires me and so many others every single day. It’s unfair you can’t celebrate and party for your birthday (because we all know you would probably be beer-bonging right now.. or yelling at me for being bad luck for the Redskins).

Funny how those are the things I miss the most.

I feel selfish admitting that it’s days like these — like your birthday — when I’m the sad one, because I wish we could be bonding together and creating memories. I look up to you so much and was so happy when you told me you wanted me to go to WVU with you. We were finally growing up and just getting closer than ever before you were brutally beaten [by Austin Vantrease and Jonathan May, both from Newark, Delaware]. Not only have you missed out on so much these past five years, but so have I. I’ve missed out on the brother and sister bond. I’ve missed getting to go to school with you. I’ve missed celebrating holidays with you. I’ve missed your advice. And your laugh. And your sense of humor. And having a sibling there for me when times get tough.

I miss everything about you Ryan..

And even though I am so happy to say you’ve made it to your 25 birthday, it still rips me apart every single day that this happened to you. But, I promise you, I will never leave your side. I love you so much and will try to make this day as special for you as possible. Happy birthday Ryan… Me, mom and dad, and so many others love you so much and can’t wait for the day we see that squinty-eyed smile again.

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Comments

  5. There are no words to describe this tragedy. God is merciful and omnipresent. HE is also justice. Happy bday to Ryan! Strength and peace to his family. Mon

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  7. Happy Birthday Ryan!!! Hoping this year is better than last in your recovery. Always praying and hoping that you wake up…xoxo

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  12. I think of you often, Ryan,you and your family has captured my soul…I send Love and Light….

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  21. We love your brother and will never leave him or your family either, Kari. Stay strong, Divineys, and keep fighting, Ryan!

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  51. I certainly hope you will in time, see that squinty grin –which looked like “his trademark smile”. Didn’t know your brother but we love in Grafton ,WV which is 30 miles from where you two went to school. He’s always in my prayers. I have a grandson with a traumatic brain injury from a car accident who has a little 3 yr . son. We know what you’re going through. Prayers for you, and your mom and dad also.

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  56. Happy birthday, Ryan. You SHOULD be partying, celebrating the milestone with your friends as I did when I was 25 (1968, alas!). You should be playing beer pong or something, even, perhaps, starting a family. I, too, am struck by the unfairness. It’s easy to be glib & say Life is unfair but that’s unfair. We are struck by the global impact of Ryan’s assault & disability. You, Kari, your parents, extended family, Ryan’s friends, your friends… I wish I had some words to ease the hurt for all of you. We hope this blog, not only your postings, Divney family, but our comments, bring some comfort.

    I will say again, no one knows what Ryan may comprehend but be unable to express. He feels your LOVE. I hope you read these postings and, he can feel the love and support from so many people. Maybe the “good” part of this is bringing together so many disparate people from across the globe. People whom Ryan and you will never meet, people whose lives would never otherwise intersect w/Ryan. Tim & I were pondering things this w/e. It would’ve been the 58th birthday of a good friend who died a year ago after battling a virulent form of pancreatic cancer, leaving his wife & 2 children on the cusp of adolescence. Again, perhaps, the “good” part is the outpouring of LOVE. Love sustains us when everything else fails. We are certain Ryan feels your love and that of so many of us brought together by this unspeakable tragedy. We hope that sustains you not just today on Ryan’s birthday but throughout the coming days.
    Yesterday, at our monthly Vintage Pride Luncheon, an attorney specializing in estate planning gave a presentation on the topic of estate planning for the LGBT community. Tim & I confess, we’ve put that off forever. “Sometime soon, dear.” “Yeah, absolutely, soon, dear!!!” Thinking about what happened to Ryan coupled w/this attorney’s presentation has prompted us to take care of this, ASAP because we just don’t know. NONE of us knows. Happy birthday, Ryan. Feel the love and care from thousands of people. That transcends human words and we pray it transcends the pain. God be with you all.
    As verbosely as ever, PK Miller, Tim Montgomery.

    Reply

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Ryan's Rally, ℅ Ken Diviney
21092 Carthagena Ct.
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