This is a tough time of the year for me. The next few weeks were a big part of my life… in my former life. Three events happened in rapid succession: Father’s Day, my birthday (which I use to extend to my “birthday season” and our annual family vacation.
I remember the last set of these so well. Probably because they were they best ever. It’s tough knowing there is little hope of ever experiencing this degree of pure happiness ever again. Now, I’m left with memories that are as equally fond as they are heart wrenching. I’m so thankful for having these, but they hurt just the same.
It is nothing short of hell, decorated to look like heaven. I got your “wolf in sheep’s clothing” right here!
I’ll get through it — maybe even with a little grace — because I always do. It’s not like I have a damned choice. Sadly, I’ll be glad when it’s all in the past. It means I’m of the hook for another 365 days until I start feeling gloomy again. Well, gloomy for these reasons anyhow, since there’s a-plenty of gloom to go around throughout the year. Memories are a hag-faced bitch with a rockin’ body. The knowledge of all that was lost is unrelenting in its cruelty. Funny how the past just doesn’t make it better. Yep, that’s a flipping riot, Norton…
This year for my Father’s Day I will again be asking to have my son back… completely back too, in mind, body, and spirit. When I close my eyes to blow out the inferno of birthday candles I’ll make a wish that I am gifted with the ability to turn back time. If not that, then how about allowing me to give all my future birthdays to Ryan? You know, the (ever hilarious) tit-for-tat cliché in all it’s buxom glory. If only I had a tat! This year’s family vacation will take place on the patio. Maybe I’ll even pour a strangely neon-colored, icy drink with an umbrella and stick my toes in a bucket of sand just to see if I can fool myself.
I’ll just close my eyes and let my mind take me back to another time… another place… so I can pretend it’s happening now. Who knows? Maybe I’ll just be lucky enough to get a quick flash of joy, or even that rarely seen, yet often reported, tit for tat?