In a week we’ll be on the verge of another full year that Ryan has missed. It’ll be his fourth. From last month and here on out, everything is measured in fives. Until next year, that is. He missed his fifth Thanksgiving. In two days he’ll miss his fifth Christmas. In a week the new year will be brought in, with him missing it again. Over 20% of his young life has been missed.
Long ago I stopped praying for Christmas miracles… or any miracles, for that matter. I lost faith, but not after believing in God and His “bigger plan”, followed by a period where I was flat-out mad at God.
Now, I just don’t like Christmas. Heck, I don’t even like the entire season. A few years ago I accepted the fact that the religious basis for celebration was gone for me. I tried to embrace the commercialism of it all, but the magic was lost. Now, it’s just an annoyance.
Putting up a Christmas tree just seems like a huge waste of time. With every passing day it makes it seem even more so. It is just a day-and-a-half away and our house is still void of one. Sure, I don’t want the bother, but when will I find the time anyhow?Seriously, I might be the biggest Christmas villain ever! I’m like Ebenezer Scrooge and the Grinch combined… and magnified. There is no Christmas Ghost or Who down in Whoville that would be wise to mess with me.
Okay, that is a bit extreme. Just to be clear, I’m not anti-Christmas. Not any more than I’m anti-Quanza or anti-Hanukkah. I respect people’s beliefs and their freedom to express them. I guess what I saying is I won’t be embracing Christmas — be it the religious or commercial version — any more than you’ll see me lighting a menorah or the partaking of the Kikombe cha Umoja (The Unity Cup).
Still, I do want to wish most everyone a wonderful “Holiday” season. I hope the new year brings health and happiness to you and everyone important in your life. This time of year is special because it brings out the best of the human condition.
So, maybe I’m not the worst villain ever? No, I seriously doubt that. I’d never turn my back on Tiny Tim or steal the Who’s Roast Beast. If a tree brings happiness to my wife and daughter then I’ll make the time to get it up. Hmm…maybe a trace of the Season still lives on in me.
But you’ll have to excuse me if you see me bitch-slapping the Ghost of Christmas Present.