Yesterday we found out the results of a urine culture. It was taken to see if the highly-resistant urinary tract infection (UTI) that Ryan battled since April was eradicated. The culture didn’t grow anything out! This is huge. If the bacteria was still present it would not be good. No, not at all. It’s one that all oral antibiotics can’t touch and IV antibiotics are limited. Ryan, at least for now, is infection free.
I’ve been through this too many times to celebrate
to0 much at all. For the past year it’s routine for Ryan to overcome a UTI, only to get another, usually about three weeks later. This cycle needs to break or the outlook is bleak. There are only so many times a person can be placed on antibiotics before the bacteria mutates to defeat them.
Each day — even more lately — is lived wondering if Ryan is just weeks away from an infection he can’t beat. I try not to think about it (but often do) simply because there’s nothing I can do except keep searching for a magic bullet. It’s a hell of an existence being in constant fear and acting in desperation. It wears on me and I am thankful that I’ve found myself resilient beyond what I ever thought I was capable. I suppose fear and desperation can bring that out in a man.
People call me stubborn (some notably more than others). I was told this just last night… again! Sue pleaded with me to go out. Have a few beers at the local pub. Blow off some steam. I refused to leave Ryan, even when it escalated to being called a mess, depressed and “beady-eyed” (I had to laugh at that one).
Yes, I am stubborn. I ask you, why is that always considered a bad thing? I contend it’s not, given the circumstances. There are times when a guy must dig in his heels or lower his head to plow headlong into a situation, no matter how scared or exhausted. Any man worth his life-giving testicles doesn’t run (and hide) from responsibility, whether by their choice or placed upon them by others. No one could have ever told me that being a dad, let alone being a man, would take me to the brink. I refuse to let the situation lessen me. I’ll just hold on to my manhood (figuratively), thank you very much.
Instead, I’ll just continue to be a stubborn dad, but I’ll work on being less beady-eyed.