Our family wishes (nearly) everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR!
As of now, we are still looking at Sunday for discharge. Although Ryan’s care is amazing and the people at Loudoun Hospital treat us great, we are excited to get home.
2010 was rough year for us as a family, and like 2009, we are happy to see it behind us. Still, it had a few cherished moments. Most notably, Kari graduated from high school and went on to achieve academic success in college.
We were in awe as communities surrounded, loved, provided, and protected us. We watched the people responsible for this sadness being handcuffed and led to jail. I had the opportunity to get a few things off my mind and address the attackers and their families. Without even an ounce of fear, I looked into the eyes of pure and convicted evil, and felt the love for my son overtake me as words poured from my mouth without forethought nor reservation. In that instance, I learned just how wide and deep the chasm is between pure love and pure hate.
The endless nights throughout the year brought many tears. The heartache was beyond complete despair. Our son cried out in agony, without cease, for months. Our daughter pieced together her senior year in high school, as best she could. We watched our son die, and fight back to us again. We sat almost helplessly as fevers got so high we could feel the heat radiating off Ryan from across the room, his body almost flourescent red, and lips so deeply purplish-red that it scared me just looking at it; a color I never saw in my life before.
Through all this, we stumbled, but never fell. Our strength was tested, and tested, and tested. The fear NEVER relented. We never caught a break. We never were able to breathe a sigh of relief. We couldn’t come up for air and had no choice but to hold our breath and wait. We learned to mentally detach ourselves from our own emotions and make gut-wrenching decisions that were a matter of life-and-death. We learned sometimes there was no other option than to lean on each other, almost like a tripod, to prevent all from crashing down. We learned to live in the moment. We discovered our daughter, Kari, is the strongest and most unselfish person we ever met. We learned our fear is often misinterpreted by others as strength. We learned our strength is sometimes viewed as foolish hope. We learned hope is a child of desperation.
Yes, whoa is me. I readily admit feeling sorry. Anyone who believes they would feel otherwise… well… doesn’t know otherwise. This is a life thrown upon me that I did not choose. My decisions did not bring these consequences. Sometimes I wish time would advance to a point where the anguish is shattered into oblivion.
So, good riddance to 2010. There is much to hope for in 2011.
We got this!